YoJoe: This is kinda funny 'cause the Plasmatox that you held, and then the Plasmatox that the kids played with looked nothing alike. I don't think you could actually buy a little Plasmatox container at all. I don't think it was ever a toy. So much effort for a prop.

Wren Roberts: Oh, wow. Yeah. I never knew that, I was always curious about what the toy ended up looking like. They ended up giving me a doll that was basically a mock-up, it was the first G.I. Joe that they'd ever made, the first Duke. And he was wearing forest gear. You know, not desert camo, he was wearing forest gear. And basically, he was hand painted. So he was the first Duke I ever got, they had to hand paint him and basically I think they put him together with - it was one of their other characters. They used the head and the torso of two different characters, and then they used the legs off another one 'cause they didn't have, you know, a ready-made Duke.

YJ: You still have that?

WR: I actually do, somewhere. And I have the first edition Duke that's still in the box, which is the one in the desert gear. With the red, and the helmet, and all that.

YJ: Yeah, with the little rocket that he sits on, which always seemed a little dangerous.

WR: And that's the first one that actually has my face on the box - the rendering of my face.

YJ: Oh yeah? They painted you on the picture itself?

WR: Yeah, I'm right on the box, which I didn't get paid for. Also did a cover of Nickelodeon magazine 'cause I remember, you know, I was reading some of your stuff. That was one of the things they had. And, the poster. I don't have a copy of that poster, I gave one to my daughter and I never saw it again, 'cause they only gave me two.

I saw it on the website, so I've asked Hasbro for stuff and for years they shied me on and say oh sure, you know, no problem, we'll send you whatever you want. And they never did. Yeah, I always asked for a couple of those posters and they said they were gonna have tons of them, plus I had trading cards but I ended up losing those 'cause I didn't really care much for them. I did the Toy Fair in Chicago where I basically stood around and signed autographs at a little booth and handed out the Upper Deck trading cards. I think that was in '93.

YJ: That's about the year they came out, yeah.

WR: I think so, yeah, something like that.

Lots of stories, probably I would say the most fun I had was the first year because the director was so off the cuff. The best stuff happened in '93. We had another director and his name was Phil. I don't remember his last name, either. He actually worked for Richard Donner's film company - Donner-Schuler. So he was one of thos guys. I've never seen anything he did prior or even after that, so I don't know if he went anywhere or not, he may have, but I've never seen his name. Being an actor, you'd always look at directors' names and stuff. And I don't think I've seen any of his work after G.I. Joe. Yeah, the stunts were really good that year, in '93, 'cause we did a lot more stuff.

I remember in '91, I think the biggest joke we had running around set was, they used to joke about my hair. 'Cause I had this perfect head of hair that, you know, I did myself. I wouldn't let anyone else do it because it was just really easy. All I had to do was just kind of flick it back, put a little gel in it, hit it with a hair dryer, and then just barely brush the front up, and it was done. Well I remember I tried to get them to do it, and they just couldn't get it. And they were playing with my hair for about twenty-five minutes. And I remember the director was screaming and screaming because I kept having to fall into the drink, right? They hung me from about twenty-five feet up with this styrofoam what's left - because I get shot out of the air - so what's left of my little G.I. Joe helicopter still strapped to my back, and they dropped into the water. And they had to keep doing this and every time I came up out of the water I was all wet, but then two seconds later I had to be dry again when they tried it a second time around. And they had to have dry clothes, so they had this dryer running 24/7 with four different outfits that they kept drying and putting on me, and I remember I taught the one lady how to do my hair. Because the first time it took twenty-five minutes and the director went absolutely ape.

So we went back in the back room and at the time we had Unit 1, which was shooting some of the other stuff, like General Hawk was sitting at this control command center. (Editor's note: This is probably Stalker, not Hawk.) He's sitting in his little command center and they were shooting it, and I kept hearing him, "Duke's in trouble, call out the Air Commandos!" And he kept saying it and saying it and saying it. "Duke's in trouble, call out the Air Commandos! Duke's in trouble, call out the Air Commandos!" And he would say it different ways, but director'd go, "No, no, say it like this! No, no, add a different inflection, say it like this!" So he kept screaming that and I remember we're over there and in between each take we'd begun the blow dryer going on my hair. And then a, "Shh! They're shutting it down, they're shutting it down." And then the next I hear, "Quiet, quiet, we're gonna shoot! Rolling!" And I screamed at the top of my lungs, "Duke's in trouble, call out the Hair Commandos!" And it was a running joke for probably the next two seasons we did G.I. Joe, because my hair was - it was the perfect thing.

The next year when I went to have my hair - it was actually looking dumb. They actually made audition the next time around for G.I. Joe, for Duke. Which I was really insulted, I was actually insulted. And I mean, I'm - you know, there's no small parts, only small actors, they say. But I was just really, kind of, offended. That they made me come in and audition for it, right?

YJ: Yeah, I know, it would be weird to see suddenly a different guy.

WR: Well, yeah, that's what I thought, but anyways, I came in, and I was a good sport. I came in, and I did the audition. I just remember standing in this line-up with all these guys. And I'm the tallest guy in the room. They lined us all up and they basically ask you who you are, how tall you are, what your weight is, and who your agent is. And I was standing right in the middle of all these little 5'8", 5'9", 5'10" guys. And they say, that's like, "My name's John Stewart, I'm 6'4", 285 lbs., And they get all the way down, right to the middle of where I'm standing, and I said, "I'm Wren Roberts, I'm with Kirk Talent, and I am 6'2" and I am 265." And I said, "You know, I really am." And I remember it was just a big joke because, seriously, here are all these guys proclaiming to be something that they weren't, right?

YJ: Like you can really fake height, when they're right in front of you?

WR: You can't! But I mean, I guess you can if there's nothing else to gauge it to.

YJ: Well you'd think the people asking the questions....

WR: And I am clearly the tallest guy in the room by, like, four inches. And I just thought that was a joke, right, because I remember the camera guy was just snickering 'cause he thought it was funny. I stuck behind five minutes after everyone else left and I just gave a shout-out to everyone at Hasbro, on the camera 'cause I knew they were gonna see the tape. One of which I won't tell you what I said; it was quite humorous.

I don't even remember half these stories, it's been so long 'cause I used to tell these stories all the time drinking with friends, and I don't remember half of them any more! 'Cause I remember I got two injuries, I broke two fingers, cracked a couple of ribs, got a couple sets of stitches a couple of times.

We did this one - it would've been '93 - I had to do this stunt where I had to bust through a wall because of this robot gear I wear. I don't - what were they called?

YJ: Armor Tech?

WR: Armor Tech, that's right! I had to wear this Armor Tech gear which was actually just sticky foam. You know, that high density foam? And they painted it all and they glued it all together. So it was miserably uncomfortable. It was light, but you didn't have any mobility. So when I tried to turn my head, I couldn't see more than, like, about ten degrees in either direction. Not to mention the collar's that high enough to where my eyeballs could barely peer over it.

YJ: Yeah, you can kinda hardly see his face.

WR: Yeah, I sent you that picture of Destro and I dancing. There's the picture of us doing the waltz, 'cause we were in between takes.

Destro was a guy by the name of Sonny Suroweic, stunt guy. I really liked Sonny, Sonny's one of my favorite guys.

YJ: Was he always Destro?

WR: He was always Destro. He also did another Hasbro commercial where he played a wrestler for their little "Moonies" - oh, I forget what the commercial was. But we shot it all at the same time, it was an extra day. And it was another product they had - little, freaky little toys and I forget what they were. They kinda went along the Stretch Armstrong thing that Hasbro revived. I don't remember what it was, I wish I could. Anyways, he played this Stretch Armstrong sorta wrestler guy as well for Hasbro.

Another friend of mine was Dale Moore, he played Gung Ho, who - we called him "Big Ho," because he was always chatting the women up. Dale Moore, he's a pretty cool guy. I've known him for a few years as well. And basically, they went through, I would say, probably fifty guys looking for a guy to play [Gung Ho]. And this guy just happened to be an actor friend of mine who wasn't catching a break. I basically said, "Hey I know a guy who can play this," 'cause they've exhausted all of 'em, you know - all avenues. And they'd looked at all these people and the next thing you know, here we are shooting. And basically, they didn't have a Gung Ho. So I said I know a guy, and they said, "Good, can he be here tomorrow?" So I said yeah; it's the only other guy I knew that was 6'2" and fairly built, right? So he shows up the next day just happy as peaches, he's getting paid. And they put a moustache on him, and he became Gung Ho and got 10 days out of it.

Dorothy... I can't remember her last name. She played the girl that was on the poster.

YJ: Scarlett.

WR: Yup, and I can't remember - I wish I could remember her last name. Mike, he worked with Betty, he was the rigger for the air ramp. Mike Mitchell! He played Cobra Commander part of the time in '93 and he played one of the other characters and I don't remember.

And then we had that character "Snow Drift" or "Ice Tone" or....

YJ: Frostbite, I think.

WR: Yeah, I don't remember. But he was another guy that I know, but I can't remember his name. Really, really tough little stunt man, was married to Mario Van Peebles' little sister. (Editor's note: Nia Peebles, actually, no relation.) And I wish I could remember his name - I think it's Lauro [Chartrand], his name's Lauro, but I don't remember his last name. He's a really tough cat. He did the movie "The Hitman," the first one with Chuck Norris. And he played a guy there, and they basically had one of the guys point a gun at him and shoot him, and part of the end of the gun actually blew off - just like getting shot in the chest. So he's probably one of the toughest guys I've ever known. He had a piece of this gun lodged in his liver from that movie.

YJ: Well that's a hell of a story!

WR: Yeah seriously, and I mean really tough guy, incredible guy, too, the nicest of guys, and he's still a really talented stunt man. He does a lot of coordinating nowadays and I wish I could remember his name 'cause I've known him for years as well. Mostly did stunts, short little guy.

I remember there was one of the execs from Hasbro I didn't really like - we were sitting around the table one day and they kept talking and talking and talking about G.I. Joe the movie - someday we're gonna do this movie. And I said, "You know, that would be so cool, that'd probably be the biggest break of my life!" And the one guy from Hasbro turned and looked at me and said, "Yeah, well we'd probably use a real actor."

YJ: Ouch.

WR: Yeah, I know. And that's what I said. I said, "Ouch." And I almost - I was so pissed off I almost walked off set. 'Cause I was just completely like, I couldn't believe someone would actually say that. And this was in '93, you know. So I felt like going, "You know those stitches? I think I want a thousand dollars a stitch."

I learned a lot, I probably coulda shut my mouth and done a lot better. A lot of stunt men didn't like me, 'cause I was, you know, they all had to teach me. And then for me to turn around and keep on saying, "Well I'm an actor, I wanna be an actor, you guys do your stunts and I'll do my acting." And I had a lot of people calling me to do stunts and I basically turned it down. If I had the chance to do it over, I think I probably woulda followed the path that was set out for me. 'Cause I really wanted to be an actor, but I mean, it was kind of in the cards to be a stunt man because nobody gets that kind of training for free, you know? And basically I had some of the best teach me their craft because they had to. Yeah, just kinda feel a little bit bad about that.

I'm pretty happy now, I mean, I'm a home inspector, and that's what I do. I'm not much of an actor any more. I did a role two years ago where I played a wife beater in a movie called "The Secrets of Comfort House." Guy named "Harley," really nice guy, beat his wife up, and I get killed - I get what I deserve. That's probably the largest role I've had in a while, and right now I'm not talking to my agent so I haven't even got out and auditioned for quite a while. And the movie industry's picked up quite a bit here. They love to shoot here 'cause it's cheap. But yeah, like I said, now I'm a home inspector, 'cause I've been in construction on and off, that's how you subsidize being an actor, right?

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