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SIT-REP
This is the Sit-Rep, soldier, the Situation Report! It's here where we get the intel on the new troops, talk to the big brass, and generally do anything else that isn't in an archival capacity! So what are you waiting for? It's time for your debriefing!

Hot Toys 12" G.I. Joe: Retaliation Joe Colton

Review and photos by Phillip Donnelly

Hot Toys' iteration of Retaliation Joe Colton here is called a "Summer Toy Fairs" exclusive, whatever that means.  I think he was available at summer toy-centric conventions around Asia?  Either way, the only way you can get him in this hemisphere is online.  But you know, you may want to seek him out!

Let's start with the basics, then.  His packaging has the outer sleeve with a photo of the actual actor in costume, with the inner box showcasing the figure and its accessories.  Right away you'll notice that he seems to have a lot more accessories than Snake Eyes or Storm Shadow, but we'll get back to that later.

Once again, I find myself not knowing how to remove his belt in a safe manner, so while his costume is simpler than the other figures, I still can't easily remove it.  I can see that he has the black t-shirt on underneath the jacket, so you can probably get him to look like the front of his box, an image also used for the theatrical posters.  Of course, the picture on the figure box shows that Bruce Willis is left-handed, while I sort of set him up to be right-handed.  Oops.

The headsculpt on this figure is an eerily accurate rendition of Bruce Willis, too.  Seriously, if Bruce ever does own one of these things, I thik he'd keep it chained up in the box, hidden deep in a closet somewhere.  Lest the figure claim his soul.  In other words, it's really, really good.  While he only comes with three sets of hands, they're more than enough to work with what weapons come in the package.  Like with Storm Shadow, these hands are made from a flexible plastic, meaning he can grip handles and triggers with ease.  No worries about breakage here.

Articulation-wise, the figure has all the movement you'll really need.  Again we have double-jointed knees and elbows, torso and waist joints, and full rotational movement for the shoulders, wrists, hips, and ankles.  As Joe Colton's costume is simpler than the ninjas, he ironically has better range of motion than them, too!  The armor plating of Snake Eyes and the pleather jacket of Storm Shadow restricted their movement a bit, but the same does not hold true for Joe.  The rather plain army fatigues aren't a mark against him, either, as it's true to the movie and the character as well.  Remember, this was a guy who was supposed to be in the field back in the '70s and '80s (and the '60s, if we go by the comic!).  This sort of dress fits a soldier from that time.

I mentioned that Joe looks to have more accessories than the ninjas earlier.  Well, while he may look better armed, it doesn't necessarily mean he is better armed.  He comes with five weapons, but Snake Eyes comes with six, and Storm Shadow has eight!  The difference is that the ninjas come with large swords and some smaller edged weapons, with perhaps a firearm or two.  Joe has an assault rifle, a shotgun, and three pistols to his person.  He also comes with eight spare magazines, and storage to keep all of them on him at one time.  It's actually rather impressive how much he comes with, and how it all fits together.  Why does he even have two carabiners?  No seriously, why?  I have no idea what purpose they serve.

I think the craziest thing of all here is found in the pistol magazines.  That top bullet in the magazine?  Yeah, that's removable.  We have tiny bullet accessories that slide into place, not meant to draw attention to themselves.  Who puts that much detail into something?  Joe can't even hold them!

I feel the need to point out a movie gripe that's also applicable with this figure.  The white-handled pistol Joe comes with is, according to the Retaliation movie, the pistol that once belonged to General George Patton.  That's all well and good, but why then does it have a modern trigger?  If you've got such a revered historical piece, why on Earth would you then go and customize it for yourself?  That boggles my mind.  Or maybe it's just the obsessive collector mentality in me - you're ruining its value! (Editors note: General George S. Patton Jr. did not carry a Colt model 1911 .45 pistol. This is an error within the film. General Patton carried a Colt .45 Model 1873 and a 1935 Smith & Wesson .357 Magnum. Both with ivory grips.)

If you're a Bruce Willis fan, a die hard G.I. Joe fan, or just a collector who wants some sort of movie-accurate Joe Colton figure, you owe it to yourself to pick this guy up.  Seriously, it's an amazing likeness of Bruce Willis, holding some awesome weapons, and just generally looking badass.  Who wouldn't want that on their shelf?

Editor's Note:
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More action shots:

Images from the collection of: Phillip Donnelly and Terry Dizard

Figure courtesy of Hot Toys!

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Yo Joe!

10/11/13

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