****** GI JOE 3 3/4" NEWSLETTER ****** Issue #7 December 15, 1996 http://www.wiu.edu/users/mucds/joehq.htm List moderator: Corey Stinson (mucds@bgu.edu) Editor: Corey Stinson (mucds@bgu.edu) Contributing editor: Josh Zyber Contributing editor: Benjamin Thomas (bithomas@eos.ncsu.edu) Webmaster: Corey Stinson (mucds@bgu.edu) Hey all! Once again I'd like to welcome the many new subscribers that have joined us since the last issue. We're going strong now at over 300 subscribers! This issue begins a two-part series on 3 3/4" GI Joe customization. Upset that new Joes aren't available in stores? Make your own figures! You can already see what fellow Joe fans are doing on the Headquarters WWW page (URL is above). If you want to display *your* custom GI Joe figures on the Headquarters WWW page contact me at . This is the last Newsletter you'll see for 1996 so if you're celebrating the holiday season and new year: have a happy and safe one. Thanks for sticking with us. Look forward to 1997, the 15th anniversary of 3 3/4" GI Joe, to be a big one! Yo Joe! Table of contents: ---------------------------------------------------------- 1. News Bits 2. GI Joe Discussion Listserv! 3. Customizing 3 3/4" GI Joe, Part I 4. "Departures" (original GI Joe fan fiction) 5. The Barracks - a review 6. Starduster figure variations 7. Other 3 3/4" News 8. Dealer Section 9. Subscription Info ======================================================================== NEWS BITS Hasbro has an application to join a "snail-mail" mailing list on their WWW site. Part of the subscription form asks if you are a 3 3/4" Joe collector so it strikes me that it might be worthwhile to join up. You can find the subscription information/application at the following URL: http://www.hasbrotoys.com/hasbro/gijmail.html Speaking of the Hasbro WWW site: I ran across their GI Joe chronology the other day and was quite disappointed to see that while some parts of the list gave great attention to detail concerning the 3 3/4" line, other parts are decidedly lacking. Specifically, the cancellation of the 3 3/4" line is not mentioned at all! For 3 3/4" Joe to return and return the way we want him Hasbro must take the toy line and the toy consumer seriously. To me this "happy chronology" which tiptoes around the negative reality that 3 3/4" Joe was cancelled in 1994 is *not* taking the line or the consumer seriously. I urge you to check out the chronology yourself and to email your thoughts to Hasbro. The chronology can be found at the following URL: http://www.hasbrotoys.com/ hasbro/GIJchtxt.html. Star Brigade Armor-Tech figures as well as the Armor-Bot can still be found at some Big Lots stores. If you haven't picked up these items yet this might be your last opportunity to do so from someone other than a dealer. The Armor-Tech figures are $1.99ea and the Armor-Bot is $19.99. In the last issue I asked people to write in and tell me about vehicles they would have liked to see Hasbro produce for the 3 3/4" Joe line. Unfortunately a severe hard drive crash (hardware failure) left me without most of your comments on this subject, so you will not find them reprinted here. I apologize and promise to back up my system more fervently in the future! Many corrected my statement that there had been no Hum-Vee vehicle for Joe. The "Hammer" vehicle was in fact based on the Hum-Vee. ======================================================================== GI JOE DISCUSSION LISTSERV Conor Malone has started an excellent GI Joe discussion mailing list (listserv). For those of you not familiar with a "listserv" it is a "discussion forum" where all the discussion is sent to your email box. To participate in the list you merely send your message to the listserv and it is re-distributed to all the members of the discussion group. Its been active for a couple of weeks and there is already a lot of great activity on there. For more information on how the listserv works and to subscribe, point your WWW browser to the following URL: http://www.triopa.com/gijoe/list.html Thanks Conor, for setting up this fun new forum for 3 3/4" Joe collectors! ======================================================================== CUSTOMIZING 3 3/4" JOES, PART I David Daniele already has some of his 3 3/4" custom Joe figures on display at the Newsletter Headquarters WWW page. Here is his slant on customizing. ~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ Recently, I was sitting at my dining room table (now customizing studio), working on my latest figure. As I was sanding down a leg joint, I suddenly realized what I had been listening to in the background on the TV. It was the movie, "The Puppet Master". Had I become the new Puppet Master, was I really bringing life to these inanimate pieces of plastic? I turned my head and looked at my black cat who was watching me with wondering eyes, and hissed a slow, evil jiberish that only those infected with the madness would understand. Well, the cat screeched out and jumped clear across the table nearly knocking over a bottle of black paint on my carpet. This event brought me back to reality really quick. The maddness I was talking about is something that all customizers experience at one point or another. You first notice it when you start talking to your figures ( let's hope they don't start talking back ) or when your living room turns into a mad scientist lab, complete with body parts laying all over the place. The key to really doing a great custom job starts with the material you have to work with. Not necessarly the paints or brushes you use but more in the amount of really cool figure parts you can choose from. I like my figures to look like they just stepped out of a Saturday morning cartoon. Elongated limbs, oversized heads, strange bio-mechanical combinations, gives the figures a non-reality look. A lot of custom figure artists go more for the opposite, reality based figures, duller colors, correct proportioned body designs and this is cool too. I start by laying out the combination of body parts that look good as a unit. Then I have to cut off the limbs that I want to replace with different ones. These have to be sanded down to mold together with each other. This works best by cementing the limbs together first then sanding them down to get that perfect skin look. Ridges usually come out after laying a few coats of paint over them. Much of the detail painting is done to each part before I glue them together. Remember, the action in action figure means that the final figure should retain all or most of the orginal posing ability. These are not statues they are action figures. Sometimes easier said then done let me tell you. Most enamel paints crack at the bend points of most action figure limb joints when dry. The trick is to provide enough gapping between the joints so they don't scratch at the paint layer you put on. A little sanding before painting sometimes solves this problem. I do like to use bright, metallic style acrylic enamels on my figures (the cartoon look). I have an assortment of brushes for the stroke thickness and believe it or not, I use a Ginsu knife to do my cutting. It slices, it dices, it never gets dull. I paint every detail that I can after coming up with a color scheme. To many colors on a figure makes it look silly. My figures could eat most custom figures for breakfast, so to speak. I have a large assortment of weapons to choose from to arm my army of darkness. I do try to paint details on my weapons too. Gun barrels look good black with silver trim. I have even begun to paint rune sympols on my sword blades for that ancient Conan look. I'm starting to expand my thoughts into adding hoses, tubes, and I've even started using costom jewlery additions. My GI Joe: Weird Warrior Barroness figure holds a gold chain that splits into two leashes for her pet bulldogs. She has a small gold belt and I put a rinestone on her staff. This adds a 3-d effect when looking at each figure. Go out on a limb, do things that you might not normally do, get the madness, let it overpower you because you never know what you may come up with. And finally, always talk to your creations, after all it was you that brought them to life, wasn't it? - Dave "the toy man" Daniele ~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ Your humble editor has also been doing customization for 9 months or so. I've produced about 32 custom figures so far, most of which I'm pretty proud of, and a few that *don't* look so hot. :) I don't have pictures of of these figures up on my own web page yet! Sometime soon I'll be picking up a decent camera and then I'll put my custom Joes up for the world to inspect. For now, I've chronicled my 3 3/4" Joe customizing experiences in hopes of encouraging you to bring to life your own creations. MATERIALS --------- I use Testors model paint and associated materials. Note that the discount stores (Wal-Mart/K-Mart/etc) won't carry most of the colors you'll need for Joe customization, like the flat military colors (unless you want to buy a kit-I don't recommend it). Check out the myriad of nifty colors that a hobby store or a craft store like Michael's has. You can find nice brushes for detail work at Wal-Mart or the aforementioned craft stores. COLORS ------ This depends a lot on the type of figures you want to create. Military flats (gray, green, olive drab, etc) in various combinations are great for doing custom jobs with a more realistic military look. I sometimes use odder colors for my Cobra/villian characters. Be forewarned that gloss colors are in most cases harder to work with than flats. Metallic colors like silver and gold are a nightmare for covering dark colors. It can be done though. POSSIBLE CUSTOM CONCEPTS ------------------------ The first step in creating a custom figure is to decide who he/she will be. One idea is to create figures for some characters that appeared in the GI Joe comic or cartoon but never were made into toys. Another idea is to do your own versions of characters from the Joe line, or do your own completely new character. I like to do drivers and pilots for the GI Joe vehicles that never came with a figure. You can even create your own special teams. This gives you an excuse to use the same or similar color configuration on a group of your custom figures. PUTTING TOGETHER A NEW FIGURE ----------------------------- When coming up with an entirely new figure I sit down with my box of figures and parts and just brainstorm ideas until I come up with a concept that interests me. I get together arms, legs, crotch, torso, and a head that fits the concept I want. I always need to put the pieces together to be sure they fit. Sometimes slight differences in molds means the pieces can go together poorly or not at all. Remember that Joes went though several significant articulation changes which may affect what parts you can use with each other. These were: swivel-arm battle grip, the rotation-joint head (pre '86) vs. the ball-joint head ('82 and thereafter), and the advent of the ninja-action figures which are essentially non-customizable (ie you have to break them to get them apart). If you must you can always saw, file, and glue things together to get a combination you really want out of a group of parts. I don't recommend this for starting out. This is also the best time to plot out what accessories you will give to your figure (if any). You may end up wanting to paint them too! PICKING YOUR COLORS ------------------- After I've selected the parts I will use I conceive a color scheme for the figure. Thinking about a color scheme while picking out parts is actually a pretty good idea. Some colors are inappropriate for certain body parts. Remember that you are covering a color with a color. Picking a black body part and attempting to cover it with white paint is a hassle. Generally you can overcome any Joe part color with the color of your choice. It will just be a matter of how many coats of paint you have to apply. :) After the third coat it tends to get a little boring. There is also the issue of losing mold detail. After a third coat of paint has been applied to a figure part with detailed molding/sculpting you start to lose a lot of the detail. This is usually undesirable. Flat shades of green, gray, black, brown and other dark colors are the easiest to work with and are great for starting out. A person might have more success covering dark colors with lighter colors with an airbrush. This is a messy and expensive option which I haven't experimented with much. After deciding on a color scheme I determine which items on each body part I will color and with what colors. I generally try to be consistent as my figures are fairly "traditional". If any of the figure parts are dirty or have been painted before I clean them up, removing all the crud, before starting my new paint job. THE PAINTING PROCESS -------------------- No doubt about it. This takes patience. Your mileage may vary from some of the processes I'll describe in this section. I suggest experimentation. My first step is to entirely disassemble all chosen parts (including leg segments). I then paint all the large open surfaces with whatever color I've selected. I generally use the fine- detail brush for all the paint application. Anything larger seems to spend more time dragging paint around than applying it. After that paint has dried (~12-24 hours) I do some detail work on the parts. This process may be repeated a number of times depending on how many colors I'm using and how many details I'm adding. In all cases I find it easier to let previous paint dry before adding more, whether it be applying a second coat to an already-painted surface or just adding a different color to a unpainted section. Here are some tricks I've developed for creating "handles" for holding parts while painting them: - front torso section: screw the torso screw into the front torso a few turns. - outer thigh sections: same as above, use the leg screw. - back torso section: use the small phillips-head screwdriver you use to disassemble your Joes. Insert the head of the screwdriver gently but snugly into back torso. - inner thigh sections: same as for back torso section. - lower leg sections: buy some of those fat toothpicks. Aside from being great for stirring paint you can insert them into the holes in the top of the leg sections. Since they are fatter in the center they eventually settle snugly. - arms: buy some of those easily-flexible paper clips. The rubber- coated ones are perfect. Bend open the paper clip and insert the shoulder connection "knob" of the arm into one of the sections. Bend the section around the shoulder "knob" until it is snug. You can also use the paper clip to hang the arm while the paint dries. I sometimes assemble my figure before I'm done painting (when paint is dry of course) to get an idea of how it is really going to look. This can be your early warning to "abort mission" if you decide the color scheme doesn't look as great in reality as it did in your head. It happens. :) When I'm all finished I reassemble the figure and bend all the joints around. Usually this reveals a few spots that need to be hit again with paint. PROTECTING YOUR WORK -------------------- There is no way around the fact that a custom figure is more fragile than a figure out of a Hasbro factory. You won't be able to stuff him/her in and out of vehicle cockpits repeatedly w/o scraping off paint. If you painted the figure's hands you'll have to be pretty careful with inserting and removing accessories. Avoid putting your custom figure in a bag w/ accessories and tossing it in a box that will be jostled around a lot. One way to protect the paint a little more and to also give your figure a more "glossy" appearance is to spray on some gloss cote. Don't even try this indoors! Be sure you mask off any sections of a figure that you don't wanted coated but don't use any kind of tape unless you want to inadvertently remove paint. ALL FINISHED ------------ When I'm all finished with a custom figure stand him/her up with the accessories I've chosen and admire a new figure for my collection. I've found this to be a good way to soothe the sore created by Hasbro when they terminated the Joe line in 1994. Maybe customizing Joes can be a fun addition to your GI Joe collecting too! ======================================================================== DEPARTURES Ben Thomas, bithomas@eos.ncsu.edu Story Two Admiral Everett "Keel-Haul" Colby stared sadly at the picture of Maria forever stationed atop the desk of paperwork horror. She passed away six years ago almost to the date, but the pain of her death never really lessened in the meantime. In truth, he could hardly blame himself; she probably would have been murdered even if he had been at home when the vandals forced themselves into his Virginia residence. Still, the Admiral had always believed that, through the lessons learned by his wife's death, he could avoid making the same mistakes with the men and women serving under his command on the U.S.S. Flagg. But, as the last few days had clearly shown, his education had not progressed far enough. For all he knew, eight members of the G.I. Joe team were dead or perhaps suffering a fate even worse. A slow creak of the door returned the Admiral's thoughts to the present time. Shipwreck emerged from behind the door, quickly glancing at the various points in the Admiral's barely-lit quarters. "Sorry to bother you, sir, but General Hawk is on your priority line." Admiral Colby rose from his sunken chair and straightened his appearance, attempting to look presentable to the rest of the world. "Thank you, Shipwreck," he answered. "I'll take it in here." As the sailor closed the door behind him, the Admiral opened a nondescript panel in the wall to the right of his desk and removed a telephone receiver from the compartment. "General Abernathy?" he spoke into the receiver. "It's good to speak with you again, Admiral Colby," Hawk transmitted over the line. "I assume you've already heard the important details," Admiral Colby started. "Believe me, I've got my best people working on a strategy to bring our boys back." For several seconds, no response came from the General. "General Hawk, are you still there? Hello?" "Yes, I'm still here," Hawk finally continued. "The main reason I've called is in regards to the rescue effort. As of earlier today, the Joint Chiefs have assigned a guy named Anthony Young to take command of the entire rescue command. As we speak, he's headed to the Flagg aboard a Tomahawk to arrive at approximately 0800 hours." The Admiral could hardly believe the words coming from General Hawk. All he needed now was another office veteran ruining matters worse than had already been done! "How can this be?!" "I don't agree with the decision one bit, but everything is out of my hands now," Hawk answered, trying to soften the impact. "Hollingsworth and I tried to convince them otherwise, but they simply would not listen to reason." "Damn! Oh well. I had better get used to the idea of taking orders. Do you have any news regarding the mystery men who so carelessly left us the gift of their voices?" "All we can determine so far is that we can't determine anything. The voices do not match the patterns for any known Cobra operatives, but obviously we can't conclude anything from that information alone." Hawk paused for several seconds and then spoke up again. "Just look out for yourself, Admiral Colby. We don't need to lose any more good men!" "Don't worry about me, General!" the Admiral snapped. "Those Cobras may be tough in the anti-aircraft department, but I can hold my own in the air!" "I was more referring to Young. Everything about the mission from the start has struck me as suspicious, and well . . . this reassignment only works to confirm those suspicions." "Warning heeded, General. We'll talk again later, hopefully under better circumstances." Before General Hawk could respond, the Admiral replaced the receiver in its compartment. The time was ticking away . . . ###### Armada strode swiftly through the bustling windowed corridor, Slice, Dice, and Cesspool in tow, Techno-Vipers scurrying from place to place. "As Lieutenant D'Alleva already knows," the island commander began, turning to give the CEO a mocking look, "I have prior commitments to fulfill. Being an honorable man, I can hardly afford to tarnish my reputation by not making the journey. I should only be gone for a day at most, but one never knows the possibilities. Until then, I transfer administrative duty to the Lieutenant." The grimace that appeared on Cesspool's face went unnoticed by everyone else. An escalator slowly transferred the four Cobra operatives to the boarding area for the massive aerial fortress. Techno-Vipers scurried around at the bottom, carrying various measuring devices and making last-minute checks on all of the craft's important systems. A hatch on the center of the underside of the craft mysteriously opened, as if to welcome the passenger. The sight slightly disturbed Cesspool; he had not been informed that anyone had boarded the Black Phoenix yet. As Armada ascended upon the ramp, he turned one last time to address his escorts. "Slice, Dice, keep the Lieutenant in check. He never seems to handle total authority well." Turning then to face the former CEO, he added, "Still, I am certain that the Lieutenant will, shall I say, keep an eye out!" As the hatch began to raise back into its original position, Cesspool quickly proceeded to the observation cubicle, disgust powerful enough to bend titanium warping his face even further. [What a damn comedian!] The various partitions of the ceiling receded into the adjoining walls, and the sights and sounds of the outside world rushed to mix with the man-made environment of the docking sector. As the massive vehicle began its vertical liftoff, though, the sunlight simply ceased to exist in certain parts of the room. "No . . . no, this can't be correct!" Cesspool looked at the Techno-Viper standing next to him in the cubicle with a quizzical expression, though no one else could notice in the darkened atmosphere. "What cannot be correct?" "The Black Phoenix!" she excitedly replied, still shaking her head back and forth in total disbelief. "My readings don't show any heat emissions, electromagnetic activity, or even any form of physical propulsion!" Cesspool's eyes widened by a mile, as he was certain that her eyes had done under the Techno-Viper helmet. "You mean that the poor investment just--" "Just levitated out of here, yes! How, I have no idea, but that's what it did!" "Are you certain that your instruments are working properly?" The young technician could not tear her eyes away from the monitor display, nor could she stop shaking her head. "I-I can't be completely sure, of course, but I can't imagine that anything is so wrong with the system that I would get all of these unbelievable readings!" ###### Stalker looked into the total blackness emitted from the facing room. He knew that someone was waiting for him inside, someone that he did not want to meet with again. Suddenly, an arm reached from the darkness, and the black hand grasped his throat tightly. With virtually no effort, the arm wrenched the Ranger from the ground and painfully suspended him. "It's all over now, G.I. Joe!" he spoke through the veil. Then, his eyesight blurred heavily, and the surroundings swirled like a violent whirpool before him. When the raging storm subsided, the room was completely dark again. A man stood above him, shaking Stalker roughly. "Stalker! Snap out of it! You'll kill yourself!" The soreness from the earlier attack painfully shot through Stalker's system upon his awakening, causing him to violently spasm. Sweat poured onto his night attack uniform like a waterfall. He gasped with all his might for breath, but the oxygen would not enter his system. "Where is he?! He was standing right there . . ." "Calm down, soldier!" Sampson forcefully pleaded. "There's no one here except you and me! You were having a nightmare!" "What the hell is happening to me?!" Stalker cursed, searching for the strength to return to an upright position but finding none. ###### "Silent warrior, eh?" Interrogator asked of his restrained guest. "I think not! I can make even the mute yell in pain!" Snake Eyes stare blankly at the man standing before him as if nothing existed. He had rarely ever spoken in life because of the tremendous pain that was inflicted upon his larynx and throat area by the action. However, in this instance the pain of yelling was far exceeded by the pain inflicted upon him by the Cobra Interrogation Expert, a man he recognized from a recent assault on the recently repopulated Cobra Island. "Now the tables have turned on you, Snake Eyes!" The Interrogator lifted his shirt to reveal a heavily-bandaged chest underneath. "My ribs have still not fully recovered from our last meeting! I find it only fitting that you suffer as I have suffered for the last month!" He then tucked his shirt back into place and picked up the blunt steel- reinforced nightstick. "Normally, I don't resort to such crude methods of administering pain," he continued, "but for you, I will definitely make an exception!" The club swung at blinding speed, continously striking the Commando in a manner that would only torture and not kill him. After an unknown duration of time, Interrogator dropped his club suddenly and bent down to his knees. Running his hands along the left boot, he withdrew a taser from a storage compartment. "Are you ready for the finishing touch?" ###### The morning sun shined brightly across the lengthy deck of the U.S.S Flagg, but fortune had yet to shine nearly as brilliantly upon the G.I. Joe team over the course of events for the current rescue mission. Admiral Colby stood in the open, barely noticing the crisp, warm breeze native to the Gulf region; his mind was presently occupied by the thoughts of not only the arriving obstacle to the rescue effort, but also of the seven men that might not still live to be rescued. The dreams never left him the night before, the faces blaming him for their loss, their capture. With the loss of command of the mission, the Admiral also lost his only opportunity to redeem himself, the only chance to regain his confidence. Shipwreck and Topside had accompanied him to the deck to witness the arrival of the new mission commander. The two men acted as if they did not notice any change in his demeanor, but he was sure that the two Navy veterans knew the truth of the matter. As he contemplated the idea, though, his thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the rapidly-spinning blades of the approaching Tomahawk chopper. "I just don't get it!" Topside began. "What makes the Joint Chiefs think that some guy who's never been in the field, much less dealt with Cobra before, can just waltz in and succeed where we've failed up to now?" "I wouldn't be surprised if this change wasn't helped along by our good friends in Congress," Shipwreck answered, the disdain in his tone as evident as that in Topside's tone. "I know that we've still got a big supporter there from our participation in the Cobra Civil War some years ago." "What's done is done, gentlemen," the Admiral added as the Tomahawk landed on the deck. "Now we just have to do our job as best we can." A man of medium build emerged from the Tomahawk's passenger bay and quickly took in his surroundings. "This is an aircraft carrier? I've never seen one so small!" [Wonderful. What a bubblingly positive attitude!] Admiral Colby mused. "Welcome to the U.S.S. Flagg, Agent Reed. We have already prepared--" "Forget about that!" Reed barked as he proceeded angrily toward the welcoming trio. "I want a full report on the mission status as it stands, and I want it now!" "Do you mean to tell me that you have not been debriefed on the mission?" the Admiral inquired, a confused look on his face. "No! There was no time! Now, I want to speak to you in private, Admiral!" Agent Reed barged through the Joes as if they were nonexistent and headed for the quarters. As the mission commander disappeared from sight, Shipwreck buried his face in his opened left hand. "Well, even if Stalker and company are still around, we can forget about ever seeing them through our own efforts," he remarked disgustedly. The door to the living area slammed against the wall as Agent Reed forcefully reopned it. "We're on a strict timetable here, men, and I plan to follow it to the letter! We've got less than one full day left to act, and I don't intend to spend that time listening to your small talk!" "Less than a day?!" the trio astonishinlgy responded in unison. "You heard me! Now get moving!" ###### The communications cluster ahead brightened Cesspool's current state of mind considerably, as it signified the end of the security check. Never before had he been subject to such ridiculous tasks as making three sweeps of the fortress every hour; in fact, he rarely ever had been subject to the whims of anyone, as he had controlled his fate for much of his relatively short life. Anyone looking at him now could not see a man of twenty-seven years, a man who had taken the business world by storm with his combination of handsome looks, suave demeanor, and savvy market intuition. His rise to the top could be described as nothing less than meteoric, and through his impressive skills he swayed the stock market to his likings. The high life had ended abruptly by a disfiguring encounter with the toxic and corrosive waste with which he had failed to properly dispose when he had the opportunities. The chemicals transformed him from a handsome man to a silver-haired bulging-eye freak, and he could no longer bear the leering reception he received from those people that once bowed at his feet. The former CEO long ago realized that even in his new venture, he could never regain the prized status that he once held. Cobra Commander had more or less treated him as an equal business partner in the earlier days of their alliance. Once he had failed to repel the ingeniously-planned invasion of Firefly's BAT-zombie ninja army, though, the Commander placed considerably less trust in him. Now, he was forced to follow the orders of a newcomer. He refrained from using the term 'untested' to describe him, as the armored man more than demonstrated his abilities as both a strategist and a soldier just a few days before. However, the island commander severely lacked in the department of class, at least in regards to the former CEO. Already, he had demoted him to the equivalent rank of Lieutenant, and in his absence he forced him to make constant security checks throughout the fortress when no such checks were either necessary or even remotely helpful. "Lieutenant D'Alleva, sir, there is a transmission for you from Cobra Commander," Tele-Viper 16 reported, destroying Cesspool's train of thought. "Very well," Cesspool answered, clearly uninspired by the attention of the supreme Cobra. "Give me a visual." The black-hooded visage of Cobra Commander filled the giant display monitor in the center of the communications center, extending his presence to include both the Silent Castle and the Trager's Island Fortress. "Greetings, Cesspool," the Commander began. "I hope that you have not encountered any difficulties yet in your stay on Trager's Island." "Matters have not proceeded as smoothly as I would prefer, but we have seven G.I. Joe team members as prisoners in our holding cells." Cesspool paused for several seconds, considering an action to voice complaints about Armada's actions, but he decided to wait for a time more advantageous. "I don't think you called just to check on me, though." "How coincidental of you to mention the Joe prisoners! You are correct in your astute assumption of my purposes. I have called to inform you that I have sent a transport chopper to move the prisoners to our facilities in Borovia. The chopper departed from the Silent Castle several hours ago, so it should soon arrive at the fortress." "If you don't mind my asking," Cesspool inquired, "why are the prisoners being transferred?" "Several of the Joes in captivity hold information vital to the Cobra cause," the Commander replied, a touch of irritation laced in his voice. "Doctor Mindbender has requested that he be allowed to perform some special 'experiments' with them." The confusion only continued to mount for Cesspool. "If you want information from the Joes, I assure you that the Interrogator can match the talents of the good Doctor. I know that he will be disappointed to lose custody of Snake Eyes." "You may be right, but I will not call the chopper back now. It has wasted far too much fuel to return with nothing. I suggest that you prepare the prisoners for transport before the chopper arrives." With the last statement, the Commander ceased his transmission. Cesspool turned to face Tele-Viper 16, who immediately answered his unasked question. "Yes, Crane 548 has been detected by our radar systems, and it will reach the rendezvous point in half an hour." "Crane 548, you say?" Cesspool asked just as an idea popped into his head. "Never mind," he quickly added before Tele-Viper 16 could respond. Now he would show Armada . . . ###### "Admiral, I've intercepted another transmission to the Trager's Island Fortress!" Dial-Tone announced. Both the Admiral and Agent Reed dropped their prior endeavors and ran to Dial-Tone's console. As the transmission concluded, the Admiral turned to address Agent Reed. "What do you suggest we do now?" Agent Reed stared blankly into space, not acknowledging the Admiral's inquiry. Several seconds later, he started shaking his head back and forth in disbelief and headed for the room's exit. "This changes everything!" he angrily cursed. "What exactly are you planning, Agent Reed?" Admiral Colby asked. "You still haven't answered my first question." "You," he commanded, pointing to Dial-Tone, "notify me when the Cobra helicopter is within ten minutes distance from the island!" He then stormed out communications room, apparently headed to his quarters. "You'd think he could at least learn my code name . . ." Dial-Tone mused aloud. ###### As the images flew in all directions before him, Pathfinder was suddenly wrenched back to the enveloping darkness that comprised his world inside the small, cold confinement cell. Despite the general absence of light to illuminate the surroundings, the Jungle Specialist could sense the presence of several other people in the cell. "Get up, Joe!" one of the intruders barked. "You've got places to go and people to see!" As awareness was slowly returning, Pathfinder realized that he had fallen to the metal floor while unconscious. Ever rebellious, and not fortified with his common sense yet, he groggily replied, "What if I don't want to?" One of the men swiftly kicked the slumped prisoner in the gut, forcing a violent cough from the receiver. Two other men quickly followed the first man's lead and forcefully restrained Pathfinder, handcuffing his hands behind his back. "One thing you need to learn, boy, is that in Cobra territory you don't have any free will if you aren't on the home team!" a man Pathfinder assumed to be the same person that kicked him announced. The light in the hallway, dim as it was, still forced Pathfinder to squint. As his eyes adjusted to the increase in illumination, though, he saw that his relocators were Crimson Guards and his fellow Joes were also being taken from their cells. "Where are you taking us?" His response came in the form of a wicked backhand slap. "Shut up, Swamp Boy!" ###### The door to the communications room violently swung open, apparently by the force of will. Admiral Colby noted that he certainly did not see Agent Reed's arms near the door, and the door did not have an automated response. "We're pleased that you've decided to join us again, Agent Reed," the Admiral greeted sarcastically. The deeper meaning in the Admiral's words were lost upon the federal agent, however. "Well?!" he growled at Dial-Tone, his unbecoming disposition reflecting the manner of an unfit mission commander. "Agent Reed," Dial-Tone hesitantly answered, "the Cobra transport is in the time range at which you asked to be notified." He pointed to the topological radar map to confirm the helicopter's position. "It's time to move, then!" Reed responded, once again departing from his unofficial war room. "I would love for him to share his plans with us for once," Dial-Tone commented, a confused look that matched the Admiral's expression presently etched on his face. "So do I, Dial-Tone." The Admiral looked at the ajar door and decided that he had better follow the federal agent before the man seriously botched the operation. "What are you planning, Agent Reed?" Admiral Colby asked, quickly covering the distance between them. Reed never even turned his head to acknowledge the question. "Crewman," he inquired of a nearby attendant, "is this Storm Eagle ready to fly?" The nervous attendant quickly straightened his body and saluted Agent Reed. "Yes, sir, the plane is primed for flight." "Good! Now get the runway clear!" Agent Reed ordered as he stepped into the cockpit. "Where are you going with this plane?" the Admiral asked, this time a sterner tone in his inquiry. "Do you even know how to work the controls?" Reed still refused to look at the Admiral, but he did finally respond. "I'm headed to the fortress. Global security depends on this flight." At that point, the Admiral knew for certain that the mission commander was clinically insane. If his best pilot in . . . whatever his name is . . . could not successfully return from an assault on the fortress, what made him think that he could fare better? "Fine. I won't try to stop you, even if you are sealing your own fate." The Admiral walked away from the Storm Eagle, his head lowered in disgust. "But, I hope you don't mind having the your superiors hearing this conversation. I've got it all on tape, because I refuse to take any responsibility for your foolish actions!" ###### The partitions which comprised the ceiling hatch of sector 5-BC spread apart to allow entry to both the midday sun's light and the purple- black Crane helicopter. The illuminating rays reminded Cesspool of his main goal in life, the extermination of the cheery atmosphere produced by those rays of light. If only he could blanket the entire world with smog thick enough to block the sun's light, he could bring the world's population to its knees and make them beg for his mercy! However, his timetable for accomplishing that goal had apparently been set back even further by the emergence of Armada. Since he still did not possess the necessary resources to operate independently, he was forced to suffer the nearly-intolerable presence of the island commander. With Armada running a personal errand, the former CEO saw the perfect opportunity to win back favor with Cobra Commander. The Crane helicopter descended ever so slowly, the rotor blades decelerating and becoming individually visible once more. As the craft completed its descent, two figures emerged from the black passenger section, one a Gyro-Viper and the other a Crimson Guard. "Welcome to Trager's Island, gentlemen!" Cesspool cheerfully greeted the arriving Cobras. "Thank you, sir," the Gyro-Viper replied. "Are the prisoners ready for boarding?" "They most certainly are!" The former CEO turned and gestured to the group of Vipers surrounding the shackled G.I. Joes. "Would you mind me asking a small question of you?" he then asked out of the blue. The Gyro-Viper and Crimson Guard looked at each other for a second, puzzling looks hidden by the head-covering helmets. "Certainly not, sir," the Crimson Guard answered. "When was Crane 53 relocated to the Silent Castle? I could have sworn that 53 was sitting pretty on Cobra Island." Cesspool then flashed the duo a wicked smile. "Of course! Silly me! How would you gentlemen know about matters like that?" The former CEO walked away from the chopper and rejoined the Viper complement. One by one, the Joes were packed into the modified security cells inside the helicopter until only Hit & Run and Robert Sampson were left. "Vipers, you know what to do," he then announced. "Ready . . ." The Viper complement all raised their rifles towards the helicopter. "Aim . . ." Before he could complete the countdown, however, a Viper standing in the back cried out. "LOOK OUT ABOVE!!!!!!" The rest of the Vipers looked towards the sky in time to witness the yellow missile directed towards their position. The group immediately splintered into the stationary few and the numerous fleeing. The stationary few were erased from existence in a matter of milliseconds, however, decreasing the available manpower. The survivors then saw the source of the attack, a Joe aircraft. The plane came back for another pass, this time opening fire upon the deck from the nose cannon. Hit & Run was yanked into the helicopter just as several rounds nearly embedded themselves in his already-weakened body. Despite his less-than-optimal state of health, he watched in horror from the open passage as Robert Sampson fell to the ground, the unlucky recipient of the Storm Eagle's rage. "NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!" Hit & Run cried as the Crimson Guard and the Gyro-Viper attempted to restrain him. "Calm down!" the Crimson Guard demanded, removing his helmet with his free hand. ###### Cesspool, hiding behind an observation partition, cursed silently as the Joe aircraft made another strafing run on the helipad. His chances for redemption were rapidly slipping away, and he could do little himself without his personal Plasmatox launcher. "Air defense!" Cesspool screamed into his communicator, "Liquidate the Joe plane, already!" "What plane?" the Tele-Viper on the other end responded. "We aren't picking up any aircraft on the radar sweep." Sometimes, Cesspool could not believe the stupidity of the "expertly- trained" Cobra legions. "It's a stealth plane, you fools! Go to a visual sweep and send some Hurricanes to engage!" Cesspool observed in anger that the Crane had already cleared the dome and would certainly escape. If only that Joe pilot would not have interfered . . . it was always the so-called champions of justice that ruined his life, whether in the business world, the environmental scene, or his paramilitary ventures. As those despised memories resurfaced, the former CEO noticed that the visibility levels were quickly decreasing despite the clear weather conditions and the current lack of a ceiling. He shifted his attention to the sky above; in doing so, the identity of the obstacle of the light was revelealed to him: the Black Phoenix had returned! Cesspool's hopes buried themselves further, knowing the Armada would personally see his failure to even keep the Joe prisoners from escaping! Apparently, the pilot of the Storm Eagle realized the presence of the massive transport craft, as the Joe plane reversed direction unexpectedly and shot at top speed away from the fortress. The pilot's efforts were for naught, however; even with the Black Phoenix still barely discernable from its position far above the fortress, it quickly annihilated the fleeing plane with two green blasts, most likely originating from the underside cannons. ###### The Admiral paced back and forth in the communications room for what seemed like hours. He made a mental note that he would have to find a way to improve communication with special teams in the future; the nervous wait, the blank areas regarding the progress and safety of his subordinates, and the general lack of support options were quickly delivering his liver to oblivion. "Sir, we've got an aircraft headed in our direction," Dial-Tone announced. "It looks like the Cobra Crane helicopter from which I intercepted the earlier transmission." "Why would they come our way?" the Admiral asked, confused. "Tell Skydive and Major Altitude to put some Battle Copters in the air. I don't want anything larger in the air until we know their purpose. We have to assume that the Trager's Island team is being held on it." "Hold on, Admiral, I'm getting a transmission from the Cobra helicopter," Dial-Tone announced apprehensively. "Put it on the main speaker!" "U.S.S. Flagg, the full moon shines only in June," the pilot of the helicopter began over the airwaves. The Admiral could not believe his ears! With that one sentence, two concerns were immediately resolved! "We read you loud and clear, Flint!" he joyously responded. "We've got all of the TI team on board, but they're all banged up pretty badly," Flint continued over the radio link. "You better get a medical team ready to put in some quality hours with this group!" "Count on it!" Admiral Colby proceeded to the deck to witness the arrival of the rescue teams. He had learned an important lesson about himself from this experience; he could never take success for granted again. He had emerged victorious once again, but only because of factors out of his control. With the safe landing of the Crane, the passenger doors parted to allow the occupants return to the carrier from which none of them had seen in over two days. Hardball, Leatherneck, Torpedo, and Flint, all garbed in Cobra Viper gear, each carried one of the injured Joes out, while Airwave and Altitude joined efforts to relocate Backblast. "Step aside, people!" Stretcher demanded, rushing to reach the other two members of the TI team. "We could be dealing with a life-or-death situation here!" "I don't know about that," Hit & Run weakly answered, Updraft holding him upright. "I just need a long vacation." One person was noticeably missing from the rescued. "Where is Sampson?" the Admiral asked Flint, who was handing the unconscious Stalker to a member of the medical staff. Flint moved his eyes away from the Admiral's gaze. "We lost him, sir," he replied, a disappointed tone in his voice. "In fact, the pilot you sent to cover us accidentally took him out." "I wish I could say that I had sent the Storm Eagle to the island for that purpose, but I didn't even authorize the flight." The Admiral paused for several seconds as the reasons for Reed's actions became as obvious as the NationsBank Tower in Charlotte, North Carolina. "Unfortunately, we didn't know that you had commandeered the helicopter. In retrospect, I should have guessed that with Airwave and Altitude in your team, you could have concocted a convincing fake transmission." Flint's face mirrored that lack of understanding displayed in the Admiral's visage. "So, the Storm Eagle wasn't there to help us?" "Definitely not." The Admiral began shaking his head back and forth, the events of the past few days wearing on his soul. "I want a full mission report from you by tomorrow. For now, though, I need to work a few things out in my head." "Understood, sir," Flint responded with a salute. [Agent Reed was not sent to take command of the mission] Admiral Colby mused. [He was sent with orders to kill Sampson!] [But if the mission objective had been to kill Sampson, why were my men sent into enemy territory to risk their lives to bring him back?] Maybe he would never know . . . ###### Cesspool could not even watch as the Black Phoenix touched down inside the fortress. He knew that his days as a Cobra were finished, and his plans for total environmental destruction would never be realized. As the underside hatch opened with a whooshing sound, his head snapped to observe the disembarking anyway. The clank of footsteps followed, and Cesspool ran to the bottom of the ramp, fell to his knees, and cried out for mercy. "I tried to stop them!" He could not believe that he, the great Robert D'Alleva, was begging! Begging! "I had the perfect plan! I thought that you had--" "Save your whimpering for the Commander!" a familiar voice barked from the black cloud. A large man, also clad in armor resembling that worn by Armada, emerged from the veil. In the light, Cesspool could see that the man's armor was primarily black with blue trim, and the helmet was the same as the man Armada had contacted before! He was immediately followed by two other armor-clad figures, one male and one female. The male wore dark green as his distinguising color, while purple identified the female. Both of the new arrivals sported large apparati upon their backs, and Cesspool noted that their appearance could only lessen his already-weakened standing in the Trager's Island hierarchy. Finally, the sole original passenger returned to his place of command. "Perhaps, Cesspool, you would like to explain to me as to the reason I had to eliminate a Joe airplane upon my return," Armada coldy suggested. "W-well," Cesspool nervously stammered, "th-the Joes are gone, probably b-back on the Flagg by n-now." The nail in the coffin . . . "Yes, I suppose they had to be returned sometime," Armada answered cooly. "What good comes from total defeat of your enemies if no one else knows about that victory?" "Besides," he continued, "their usefulness was nil anyway. I already know everything useful that I could have extracted from them. I assume that Sampson escaped with the Joes?" "No," Cesspool replied, not relieved in the least manner by Armada's lack of concern over the loss of the Joes. "The plane you atomized killed him before he could get on the helicopter." Armada looked at his three companions, who all nodded their heads in response. "I believe I also have no more use for him. We have all we need to complete Project Rebirth . . ." END DEPARTURES **Note: If anyone is not familiar with the later Joes, Altitude and Major Altitude are not the same person. Ben Thomas, bithomas@eos.ncsu.edu ======================================================================== THE BARRACKS - A REVIEW "The Barracks" - The Ultimate 3 3/4" GI Joe fanzine. I blurbed this four-issue publication from Thomas Wheeler in a past issue of the Newsletter but I didn't have my own set yet. Now that I do I'd like to review this fanzine set for you. Thomas, like many of us, "grew up" with 3 3/4" GI Joe and The Barracks is written from that perspective. The Barracks articles are packed with great information (a lot of which you might not know!) and a keen sense of nostalgia that you can really relate to if you started buying GI Joe in 1982 and stayed with him ever since. "The Barracks" is not just an essay printed out on a laser printer and stapled at the corner. It is (IMHO) a professionally produced fanzine with sturdy binding and a consistently attractive internal layout complete w/ pictures and sidebars. Each issue runs about 36 information-packed pages. I won't spoil for you the contents of each issue, however, here is a brief run-down: Issue #1 - GI Joe 1982-1985, plus articles on: The Marvel Comic The Animated Series Issue #2 - GI Joe 1986-1988, plus articles on: Joe's Other Enemies The Special Teams Issue #3 - GI Joe 1989-1991, plus articles on: Oktober Guard Cancelled Products Issue #4 - GI Joe 1992-1994, plus articles on: Street Fighter & Mortal Kombat Hall Of Fame & 30th Anniversary Thomas's perspective and knowlege concerning 3 3/4" GI Joe is both unique and impressive. He shares it with the Joe collecting community in "The Barracks." In my humble opinion, this is a publication that no 3 3/4" Joe collector should be without. To receive your four-issue set of "The Barracks" send $20 payable to Thomas Wheeler to: The Barracks c/o Thomas Wheeler 7887 N. La Cholla #2154 Tucson, AZ 85741-4357 ======================================================================== STARDUSTER MAIL-IN FIGURE VARIATONS There are basically four different versions of Starduster out there: VERSION 1 ("G.I.Joe Action Stars" mail-in premium) The figure has: "1984 HASBRO" on thigh "MADE IN HONG KONG" on buttocks RECONDO torso RECONDO waist ROADBLOCK legs FLINT arms Light blue helmet Black visor Silver GUNG-HO gun Olive JUMP Jet Pack (in same plastic bag as fig & acc.) VERSION 2 The figure has: "1988 HASBRO" on thigh DUKE torso Same [ed: accessories] as above, w/ Pocket Patrol Pack Exists both w/ and w/o JUMP Jet Pack (packaged outside of Pack) Rest same as above VERSION 3 The figure has: ICEBERG waist Same as VERSION 2, w/o JUMP Jet Pack Rest same as above VERSION 4A The figure has: "1984 HASBRO" on thigh Same as above, w/o JUMP Jet Pack Rest same as above (exists w/ and w/o file card sealed in bag) - Steven Marchitelli ======================================================================== OTHER 3 3/4" NEWS The award for "Most notable 3 3/4" action figure event" for this holiday season goes out to Lanard Toys. Those of you who have followed previous issues of the Newsletter are familiar with Lanard's products. Lanard has geared up this holiday season with a big "new" assortment of figures and some vehicles. The figures are actually repaints of the original line of Corps figures. There are twenty-four figures in this assortment. Lanard did not repaint six of the original 30 figures. The figures that were left out were probably the worst of the bunch, so no big loss. There are eight different color schemes and three figures in each scheme. These new schemes have been seen as a big improvement over the original Corps line. The schemes are: 1. Forest green w/ black camoflauge 2. Black with olive-drab camoflauge 3. Gray with black "tiger-stripe" camoflauge 4. Dark gray and black 5. White with large gray stripe camoflauge patches, orange(!) highlights 6. Black with blue and silver highlights 7. White with small tan camoflauge 8. Green/gray with brownish-tan camoflauge These figures are available in several packaging configurations. FAO Schwartz has a 10 figure boxed gift set. The set also includes a rather nice four-seater jeep with missle launcher, and a motorcycle. There are two sets, each with a different 10 figures. Note, therefore, that you cannot get the full 24 figures in the assortment by buying the FAO Schwartz sets. Pictured on the back of these sets are a few very interesting-looking vehicles that have yet to appear on any store shelves. Perhaps this is indicative of Lanard's future plans? The FAO sets retail for about $32 each. K-Mart is well-stocked with two-figure packs for $2.99 each. This might be the easiest way to collect the whole assortment if you don't want to end up with multiples of some figures. CVS drug stores (and also K-Mart) carry a 7 figure set on a large card. This set comes with two motorcyles, one matching color scheme #1 and one matching color scheme #8. In this packaging configuration, some of the same figures appear on multiple cards. No variations among figures in different packaging configurations have been noted, this includes the accessories. Lanard also has produced an (apparently) exclusive gift set for Sam's Club (Wal-Mart's members-only wholesale store chain) called Galactic Force. This set contains the six figures from Lanard's Lazer Force line. The figures have been repainted with a "tiger-stripe" camoflauge and given new (somewhat lower quality) accessories. They no longer come with the light-up accessories. Now for the weird part: the *exact* same six figures are in the set again! Yes, you get 12 figures half of which are exact duplicates of the other half. Bizzare. Probably the most notable feature about the set is the large APC vehicle included. While not quite as big, it is comparable to the GI Joe APC vehicle. It has a rather radical grey and orange camoflauge color scheme. The back of the vehicle opens and figures can stand inside (on pegs). The front canopy/hatch opens forward and two figures can be seated inside. The vehicle also comes with two top-mount shooting missile launchers. I would very much like to see Lanard put out more vehicles like this. The set also includes three motorcycles. It costs $32. This item came and went in a short period of time at the Sam's Club I frequent. I recommend that you act soon if you are interested in this item. (Note: for those of you not familiar with Sam's Club, you can go into the store to look around but you must be a member or a guest of a member who is present to make a purchase.) Mortal Kombat and Street Fighter movie edition figures can still be found at Kay-Bee stores. The most popular (and hardest to find) figure seems to be the Mortal Kombat Sonya Blade (black uniform). All of these items appear to be in limited quantity and I daresay will be cleaned out by holiday shoppers so get yours now if you haven't. ======================================================================== DEALER SECTION Patrick Jessee may still have a set of the 30th Salute Joe trading cards for sale (90 cards). You can contact him at . Some people that had quite a few vehicles for sale: - Chris Workman - Scott A. Montgomery Remember -> keep watching the classified ad area on the Newsletter HQ WWW page. Lots of great buy/sell/trade activity. ======================================================================== SUBSCRIPTION INFO Currently all subscriptions, unsubscriptions, and e-mail address changes are being handled manually. If you require one of the above simply send a message to the list moderator (mucds@bgu.edu) requesting such. Did you miss an issue or did your issue get trashed? Just let the list moderator know and we'll correct the situation immediately! Don't forget - all back issues are archived on the Newsletter web page