FAQs & Features | The Flaggs FAQ | Acknowledgements |
| The 2000 Flaggs | The 2001 Flaggs | The 2002 Flaggs |
TheFlaggs
The 2001 FLAGGS

A Joe Oddessy


We start off with a shot of the moon, from behind it, from either side,
two white dots come toward us. We hear YO JOE! as the tune to the
second season opener begins.

- Cut to the terrordrome collapsing from the season two opening theme.

- Cut to a close-up of the cover of issue 21 of the comic, "silent interlude"

- Cut to 5 Skystrikers flying in formation, heading towards 5 Rattlers.

- Cut to a collage of MIP/MIB items from the 2001 Joe line

We cut back to the moon, both dots are coming towards us, become
larger and assume a familiar shape.

- Cut to the Yojoe.com homepage, the bivoauc, Warflight's dio tips page,
TimElf's Iconoclasts page, General Hawks page and the Pit page in two-
second intervals

- Cut to a collage of Joe art from Joe Harris.

- Cut to the cover of the first issue of the new Joe comic

- Cut to a diorama of 5 FLAGGs, carrying 10 Skystrikers

The dots are now clearly revealed as being the Defiant and Crusader
shuttles, both racing towards earth. Then, both open their cargo doors
and launch what appear to be one ICBM each from them.

Both missiles head towards Earth, but veer off and are seen heading above
the earth. At this point, they collide with eachother. In the red and yellow
explosion, we see text forming :

THE 2001


FLAGGS
Then, the text explodes. we follow one of the sparks from the explosion
as it falls to Earth. During its fall, it turns into a small meteorite.
We see it fall towards southern California, through some clouds untill it
reaches a rather large parking lot, filled with HISS tanks, Maulers, AWE-
Strikers and ordinary cars. The meteorite hits a Ninja Lightning vehicle,
wich promptly explodes.

We pan to the building next to the parking lot, a rather fancy and large
structure, until we come to the main entrance. An Iron Grenadier and an
MP, not unlike Law, open the doors.

Inside, we see a large room, not unlike you'd find at the Oscars. The
audience is packed with Joes, Cobra troops and fans. The podium is
obscured because of a rather huge curtain.

The curtain opens up. We see two flights of illuminated stairs at
the rear end of the podium, with between them, a flagg that has the GIJOE
logo on it, with behind it the red Cobra logo. Below the logos, the text :
"The 2001 FLAGGS - A Joe Oddesy" is written .

All of a sudden, the theme from the muppet show starts playing.

We see a bunch of Crimson Guards come on stage from the left,
single file. They start singing.....

CGs : It's time to read the comics,
CGs : It's time to show the toons,
CGs : It's time to play with toys on the FLAGGS show tonight !

A bunch of nameless greenshirts from the toon come on stage from
the right, also singing

GSs : It's time to see who wins stuff,
GSs : It's time to mock ninjas,
GSs : It's time to give out prizes on the FLAGGS show tonight !

Crystal Ball and the Fridge are sitting on a balcony

Crystal Ball : Why do we always come here,
Fridge : I guess we'll never know,
Crystal Ball : Nobody really likes us,
Both : But we still enjoy the show !

CGs and GSs : And now let's show the ho-ost
Audience : Why don't you show the ho-ost
CGs and GSs : It's time to show the ho-ost,
CGs and GSs : on the most sensational, inspirational, joeytational, Cobratational,
CGs and GSs : This is what we call the FLA-AGGS SHOOOOOOW !!!!

On that cue, the Crimson Guards and greenshirts dance their way off stage.

ANNOUNCER : Ladies and gentlemen, children of all ages, welcome to
the second annual FLAGGS awards show, with you special host : COBRA
COMMANDER !!!!!!

Cobra Commander comes down the left flight of stairs. "Cold Slither" is
heard, followed by applause.

CC : Yesssss... Welcome fans, Joe team members, Cobra agents and
bums we picked up from the street to fill seats ! First of all a big thanks
to the Springfield Marching Band and the Fort Wadsworth Chaplain
Assistant's motor pool glee club for that wonderfull opening number !

A short applause follows.

CC : Now, some of you might be wondering why I'm hosting the show AGAIN
this year..... Well, I have a short written statement from Timmer .

The Commander takes out a small piece of paper.

CC : Ahem.... Timmer wrote : " After the crap I went through last year, I'm
not about to get within ten miles of this show.... Tell snakeface he can
host it....." So you see, I had little choice but to step in.....

ANNOUNCER : Was it a bribe or blackmail this time ?

CC : What did you say ?

ANNOUNCER : Nothing.... But I have a surprise for you..... Ladies
and gentlemen, we are proud to present the CO-HOST for this
evening : General Hawk !!!

CC : WHAT ?

Hawk comes down the right flight of stairs, the opening tune from the
first season's toon is heard. A roaring applause follows.

HAWK : Hello troops, fans, Cobra.....uhm.... friends....

CC : What are YOU doing here ?

HAWK : You really think Timmer was going to let you go solo again ?

CC : Uhm.. Yessss ?

HAWK : Guess again, besides, this way, I won't end up covered in
mashed potatoe again.....

CC : You just wait.....

HAWK : Anyway, what a Joe year it has been, huh ?

CC : You can say that again, a bunch of reissues, a new comic,
and a full-blown relaunch next year !

HAWK : Not to mention new online stores, dio stories, artwork and
webpages, all devoted to GIJOE !

CC : And Cobra ! Don't forget the most important part !

HAWK : We'll see about THAT later. Anyway, let's get on with it !

CC : Fine.... Here are all the people who voted this year !

A giant screen descends from above, and flickers to life.....

Dan Carber
John "AngryJohnny" M.
Fastdraw
KennyD
Earl Shelley
Prozack
Phillip Donnely
Skywarp
Joe Tages
BgDdyPhil
Serpentor (Cobraemperor@cobracommand.net)
Mike T
Redclaw
Diana M
Dillon Lee
Marvlostoys
Tung (Tunnelrat)
David Portales
Paul Jacoby
Dzirhan
Josh (The Wildman)
Troy X
General Hawk
GI Jane
Robert Culpepper
Warflight
Alec Trevelyan
Mike Senger
Joystick
Marijn Willems
Joe Harris
Darkhawk
Jaegan
David thorton
Corey Stinson
Bullet (Shauna Forrister)
Lynx (Brittany Becker)
Tim Frankovich (TimElf)
Tommy Dye
Sleepersports
Eugene
Ian Macdowin
Timmer (yup, like before, I get to vote too....-editor)

HAWK : Wow, that's quite a few people more than last year.

CC : Yessss....43 people, not bad, not bad.

HAWK : Well, the voting forms were bigger and better this year !

CC : Howzabout just bigger ?

HAWK : You...... may have a point there.....

Crystal Ball (from balcony) : Will you guys get on with it ?

CC : Quiet you, or I'll make you sit next to Raptor.

HAWK : He's kinda right though.... I saw a few people dozing off.

CC : Fine..... Here are the hosts to present the awards in the
CARTOON category : Zarana and Mainframe !
"All you need is love" plays as Zarana and Mainframe come down
the stairs. Zarana has a rather annoyed look on her face, while
Mainframe looks embarrased. Applause follows.

MAINFRAME : Hi there, folks, I'm thrilled to be here !

ZARANA : You would be. You get to stand next to me. Me, I'm not
that thrilled.

MAINFRAME (whispering) : What ? did I forget a birthday or something ?

ZARANA : (Whispering) : You bleedin fool, we gotta keep the pretence up !

MAINFRAME : (Whipsering) : Oh, come on, not a lot of people know we
had a thing in the toon.

FRIDGE (from balcony) : SPEAK UP !

MAINFRAME :Ahem... Here comes the first award of the evening !

The "Should have gotten an Emmy" award for BEST EPISODE EVER !
(Editor's note, all entries are shown, with the number of votes they
got in front of them, then the winner)

1(vote) - Cobrathon
1 - Computer Complications
1 - Jungle Trap
1 - Red Rocket's Glare
1 - Countdown for Zartan
1 - Into your tent I silently creep
1 - Flint's Vacation
2 - Excalibur
2 - Once Upon A Joe
3 - The Viper is coming
3 - Cold Slither

7 - Sink The Montana


"umm...umm...Sink the Montana... of course, Grey Hairs and Growing Pains
DOES show Lady Jaye without her pants...no, no..Sink the Montana"
- Philip Donnely

"Sink the Montana: I loved the idea of a disgruntled US Naval
Captain joining Cobra to be Admiral of their Navy"
- BgDdyPhil

"" Cold Slither" Zartan and the Nok's are better rockers than that idiot
Vampire Lestat.. the ladies finally get to wear clothing besides their
uniforms, and Duke sheepishly admits he's out of touch. A little bit of
great characterization, and some jokes at Speilberg and Lucas's expense.
What could be better?"
- Diana M ( "Sink The Montana, apparantly -editor)

""Into Your Tent I Silently Creep" because just the very idea of
>Cross-Country fighting Stormshadow is so absurd that it's fun! "
- The Wildman Josh

"Zartan in a corset ! WOOHOO!!!"
- Lynx (on "Cold Slither" -ed)

And from the "I..... Can't...Pick...Just.....One......" pile :

"Okay, I'm going to skip all the impossible to answer questions. I'm a raving fanboy, they're all the best..."
- Jaegan

MAINFRAME : And Sink The Montana wins it !

ZARANA : Well, it WAS a very powerful episode.

MAINFRAME : "A sad end for a great lady".... *sniff*

ZARANA : Wuss...... Anyway, here's the award no-one votes for....

The "There was a ?" award for best DiC episode ever !

1 - Revenge of the Pharaos
1 - Night Of The Creepers
1 - Chunnel
1 - The one with Metal Head's mother, Pathfinder parachutes
1 - Escape From Alcatraz

2 - The Greatest Evil

(Dis) Honorable mention : There wasn't one/ there was a best ep ? - 20 votes

"There was a best Dic Ep ?"
- Too many people to list

ZARANA : Well...... That was overwhelming.....

MAINFRAME : Guess "The Greatest Evil" wins almost by default.

ANNOUNCER : Ladies and gentlemen, the FLAGGS commitee is
proud to announce that this award will be retired after this year.

CRYSTAL BALL (From Balcony) : About time !

MAINFRAME : Lety's put all this negativity behind us with the next......
oh dear.....

The "Writers on some FINE crack" award for worst single Sunbow episode !

1 - Cobra's Fun House
1 - The Million Dollar Medic
1 - Cold Slither
1 - Skeletons In The Closet
1 - Not A Ghost Of A Chance
1 - Once Upon A Joe
1 - GIJOE And The Golden Flees
2 - The Spy Who Rooked me
2 - Iceberg Goes South
2 - Grey Hairs And Growing Pains
2 - Into Your Tent I Will Silently Creep
2 - Rocket's Red Glare

3 - Bazooka Saw A Sea Serpent


"Old Soldiers Never Die (Sgt. Savage video, hey it's technically G.I. Joe:
RAH!!)"
- Phillip Donnely (Judges Rule : Not allowed : ) -ed)

""Ghost of a chance" or whatever. "What you thought you saw, wasn't what
you saw.." *Makes "L" sign on forehead. I certainly hope so, because what
I THOUGHT I saw was something real stupid. And who the Hell has
"Wallpapering parties" in college? Woo hoo, lets get up that wall paper! Heck,
sure beats legalized stimulant parties!"
- Diana M

""In to your Tent I will Silently Creep". All out Cross Country
action...yeah. If I have to suffer Cross Country, I at least want to see
him at top a HAVOC, bashing STUNS to scrap!"
- Dillon Lee

"Bazooka Saw a Sea Serpent still holds it's own. A moron handling a
powerful hand cannon in a special operations
force just doesn't work for me! "
- General Hawk

""cold slither" great, now that song is stuck in my head"
- Mike Senger (We're Cold Slither, you'll be joining us soon. Now
you have it stuck again ! -ed)


ZARANA : Oh yes, Bazooka, GIJOE's Answer to Homer Simpson.

MAINFRAME : Oh, Like the Dreadnocks are MENSA members....

ZARANA : Point taken......

The "I just waisted 25 minutes of my life" award for WORST EPISODE EVER !

1 - The Spy Who Rooked Me
1 - DiC ep With evil Computer
1 - El Dorado (DiC)
1 - Cold Slither
1 - Skeletons In The Closet
1 - The Nozone Conspiracy (????-ed)
1 - Chunnel
2 - Infested Island (DiC)

4 - Kindergarten Commandoes

(Dis) Honorable mention - Anything by DiC - 5 votes

ZARANA : DiC, not surprisingly, takes the award by a landslide. And
Kindergarten Commandoes takes the award two years in a row !

MAINFRAME : Wasn't that the one where Cobra takes over a
kindergarten, and get's beaten by toddlers ?

ZARANA : Oh, shut up.

MAINFRAME : Well, we've laughed at the worst, not let's praise the best !

The "Mini-mini series" award for BEST TWOPARTER !

3 - The Synthoid Conspiracy
4 - There's No Place Like Springfield
6 - The Traitor

9 - Worlds Without End

"A tie between "Synthoid Conspiracy" and "Worlds Without End"
- Diana M (Like Last year, whenever somebody gives multiple
answers, I pick the first one or the tie-breaker -ed)

"The Traitor without a doubt. It gave Dusty a GREAT personality, Cobra was
downright menacing and it was a captive 2-parter. It held my interest better than
any 'toon I can remember."
- General Hawk


"Wasn't Worlds Without End a two parter.... I didn't like that one, but i don't remember any others...."
- An anonymous comment by Warflight

" Haven't seen any... Dude, someone has to send us some episodes!"
Bullet and Lynx (Anybody wanna take the hint ? -ed)

MAINFRAME : Once again same winner as last year !

ZARANA : This time, "The Traitor" put up a fight though !

MAINFRAME : Keeps it interesting, I guess.

The "OK, so now I wasted 50 minutes of my life" award for worst two-parter !

1 - There's No Place Like Springfield
1 - The greatest Evil (DiC)
1 - Happy Birthday, Rock 'n Roll (DiC)
2 - Victory at Volcania
2 - The Synthoid Conspiracy
3 - Worlds Without End

4 - Captives of Cobra

"WORLDS W/O END!!! I cried & cried!!!"
- Paul Jacoby (those skeletons weren't dead.... Just sleeping..yeah. -ed)

"Tough call...all two-parters were generally very well done and thought out.
I would say probably Captives of Cobra. There was some good insight into
the Joes' families, but something about Spirit's 75 year old relatives
shooting Rattlers out of the sky just rubs me the wrong way."
- General Hawk

"- Worlds Without End!!! Didn't they wake up, and find it was all a dream, but now they were in a HELL universe run by DiC?"
- Warflight

"Worlds Without End. I'm sure I'm the only vote for this one again"
- Joystick (You'd be quite surprised -ed)

ZARANA : It came down to the LAST BALLOT COUNTED, folks !

MAINFRAME : Yeah, and what an upset it would have been, WWE
winning both best and worst two-parter.

ZARANA : It's that Joystick boy..... He inspired the revolt !

MAINFRAME : Now we bring out the big guns !

The "Good enough to be a movie" award for BEST MINISERIES !

1 - GIJoe - The Movie
1 - Operation Dragonfire
4 - The Pyramid of Darkness
6 - Revenge Of Cobra
8 - Arise, Serpentor, Arise


10 - The MASS Device

MAINFRAME : The first is STILL the best, two years running !

ZARANA : It didn't get the landslide it did last year though.

MAINFRAME : Well, we praised them, now let's tear them apart !

The "Should have been an Alan Smitthee movie" award for WORST miniseries.

1 - The MASS Device
1 - Revenge Of Cobra
2 - GIJoe The Movie
3 - Arise, Serpentor, Arise
5 - Piramid of Darkness

8 - Operation Dragonfire


"I liked them all to much to consider on worse, but if
I had to pick it would be G.I. Joe II, based soley on
the fact that I dont remember much about it, even
after reading the summary."
- Earl Shelley (Obscured to death...Ouch -ed)

""Arise Serpentor, Arise" First off, it sounds like either a Porno, or a
breakfast cereal. Second, I can't get over anyone thinking Sgt. Slaughter
is a great military mind."
- Diana M

"The WORST mini series would have to be one of my favorites.... Fatal Fluffies! You could see where it was just BAD writing, but loved it anyway.... (hmmm... anyone got that one on tape somewhere?)"
- Warflight (Uhm... Anybody know if he voted for it or not ? -ed)

"Pyramid of Darkness (Fatal Fluffies - need I say more?)"
- Jaegan

ZARANA : No you don't.....

MAINFRAME : Killer teddybears ?

ZARANA : And it would have won too, if it wasn't for DiC !

MAINFRAME : Now we get down to the characters !

The "It's just like I always imagined him/her" award for best characterization !

1 - Doc
1 - Roadblock
1 - Tomax & Xamot
1 - Serpentor
1 - Spirit
1 - Horrorshow
1 - Wetsuit
1 - Sci-Fi
1 - Cobra Commander
1 - Storm Shadow
1 - Snake Eyes
2 - Flint
2 - Sgt. Slaughter
2 - Zartan
4 - Destro
5 - Duke

8 - Shipwreck

"Doc's asbestos underwear."
- John M (Here we go again ! -ed)

"Snake-Eyes: silent character, how could you mess it up?"
- Phillip Donnely


"-Shipwreck. IMO, There is no comparison to the Toon Shipwreck in such
classics as "There's no Place Like Springfield" and of Course, "The Revenge
of Cobra"."
- Dillon Lee


"Shipwreck was the most developed character in G.I.Joe because we've seen
him as a very humorous goofball, a leader, someone tortured over the lost
of his family, a womanizer who falls in love with someone he can never be
with, a rough and tough sailor who is a pushover around kids and a Joe who
always has a smart ass remark for his own commanders and Cobra's!"
- David thorton ( Essay writer and toon connaisseur -ed)

ZARANA : Oy.... This thing is gonna take forever this way, isn't it ?

MAINFRAME : Hey, it's all fun ! And congrats to my buddy, Shipwreck !

ZARANA : Where is he, anyway ?

MAINFRAME : Passed out in the bar, he managed to get a look at the
results before the show started, and wanted to.....celebrate.

ZARANA : I......See......

The "Jar Jar" award for worst characterization in the toon !

1 - Lifeline
1 - Duke
1 - Wetsuit
1 - Footloose
1 - Roadblock
1 - Scarlett
1 - Tollbooth
1 - Mr. C
1 - Falcon
1 - Falcon (DiC)
1 - Flint (DiC)
2 - Deep Six
3 - Serpentor
3 - Chuckles
5 - Snake Eyes

8 - Cobra Commander


"Snake Eyes. Of course, when you got a member of the team who cant speak on a medium where speech is incredibly important, you cant really do too much with him without him being another Lassie. "Whats that boy? Cobras coming?" "
- Dan Carber

"Scarlett (too much hanging on Duke and acting like an airhead.)"
- Jaegan

"Flint from DiC. He's a Texan??"
- Phillip Donnely

"Freaking Chuckles. How do you take a CID Undercover expert and make
him MUTE!?! It was a good way to save a few bucks on voice actors, but
c'mon choose another character!"
- Dillon Lee


"Snake-Eyes,he was nothing but a doormat! "
- Kenny D

"Cobra Commander. His constant whining and crying and screwing up made
him about as threatening to world domination as a group of Girl Scouts."
- General Hawk

ZARANA : Oh no.....

MAINFRAME : What's the matter ?

ZARANA : He's gonna be impossible to be around now..... That's
two years in a row he's won this award......

MAINFRAME : And with twice as many votes !

CC (Running onstage) : TREACHERY MOST FOUL !!!!

CC : I DON'T DESERVE THIS AT ALL !!! YOU ARE ALL AGAINST
ME !! I NEVER WHINE !!!!

Zarana and Mainframe give Cobra Commander a stare.

CC : Oh, shut up. (goes offstage to sulk)

The "Snake Eyes" award for best character voice !

1 - Golobulus
1 - Taurus
1 - Bazooka
1 - Baroness
1 - Wild Bill
1 - RoadBlock
1 - Beach Head
2 - Shipwreck
2 - Storm Shadow
2 - Flint
8 - Destro

12 - Cobra Commander


"Shipwreck. You gotta love that Jack Nicholson take."
- Dan Carber

"Cris Latta's Cobra Commander tied with Mike Bell's anything"
- Diana M

"Bullet: CC.
Lynx: Oh yeah, hands down! Love that Star Scream voice.
Bullet: I keep telling ya, it's just CC in the
cockpit of Star Scream, controlling him!
Lynx: Oh yeah? Then when Star Scream gets blown all
too smithereens in 2005, why is it Star Scream's ghost
with Star Scream's voice that keeps haunting them?
Bullet: He's just really good at ventriloquism...
Lynx: How, through astral projection? And how does
he get his body to make his cameo? Thats way too
competant for the character!
Bullet: Ah, he knows mauch Kung fu... (I'm just
making this up, you do realise...)"
- Bullet And Linx (Using the ballot as a chatroom, for some reason -ed)

ZARANA : Phew.....

MAINFRAME : It was close there for a while, CC and Destro both
going strong, but CC pulled it off !

ZARANA : This should be....

Zarana is interrupted as Cobra Commander once again comes onstage.

CC : Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. I have prepared a few words....

ANNOUNCER : What are you doing ?

CC : Accepting my award off courssse !

ANNOUNCER : We don't give out statues or anything, you know.

CC : WHAT ???

ANNOUNCER : Some winners get a graphic for their website, but
fictional characters just get recognision.

CC : This is an OUTRAGE ! Just because we're fictional doesn't mean
we don't have feelings !

ANNOUNCER : Too bad. Let the hosts get on with it already !

CC : Fine... *sob*

The "Urkle" award for worst character voice !

1 - Zartan
1 - Bazooka
1 - Thunder
1 - Sgt. Slaughter
1 - Scrap Iron
1 - Duke
1 - Quick Kick
1 - Barbeque
1 - Dialtone
1 - Clutch
1 - Polly
2 - Destro
2 - Lady Jaye
2 - Storm Shadow
2 - Big Lob
4 - Cobra Commander

5 - Snake Eyes

"Cant think of any that really annoyed me so Ill go
with sarcasmSnake Eyes."
- Earl Shelley (You're not alone -ed)

"Lady Jaye had a butch voice to match her butch look. Crows cawing
is more pleasant!"
- The Wildman Josh


"Thunder. Is he a muppet or something?"
- Diana M

"any supporting character from Sunbow or DiC, they all sound the same!"
- Phillip Donnely ( Oh come on, Greenshirt number 2 sounded nothing
like Cobra Officer number 3 in episode 16 ! -ed)

"Does Polly count?"
- Marvlostoy (Sure, why not .... -ed)

MAINFRAME : And the sarcastic portion of the fandom wins it !

ZARANA : Yeah, real cute.....

MAINFRAME : Hey, just proves that no one voice was universally
disliked !

The "ROTFLMAO" award for FUNNIEST EPISODE EVER !

1 - The Most Dangerous Thing
1 - Cold Slither
1 - Granny Dearest (DiC)
1 - Kindergarten Commandoes (DiC)
1 - The Great Alaskan Land Rush
1 - Revenge Of Cobra
1 - Grey Hairs And Growing Pains
1 - Cobrathon
2 - Twenty Questions
4 - The Viper Is Coming

11 - Once Upon A Joe


"Grey hairs and Growing Pains (double points for Lady Jaye growing out
of her pants ;)"
- Jaegan

""Once Upon A Joe" - This was a great story told by the master goof"
- Macdowin

MAINFRAME : Mini-Joes scaring Cobras.....

ZARANA : Not the highlight of my career.....

The "Guest director : Oliver Stone" award for most dramatic episode ever !

1 - GIJOE - The Movie
1 - the MASS Device
1 - There's No Place Like Springfield
1 - The Greatest Evil (Dic)
1 - Arise, Serpentor, Arise, part 5
1 - Into Your Tent I Will Silently Creep (I'm getting sick of typing that -ed)
1 - The Phantom Mena..errr I mean Brigade (-ed)
1 - Not a Ghost of a Chance
1 - Eye for an Eye
2 - Sink The Montana
2 - The Traitor
2 - Mara has to go into the ocean

3 - Worlds Without End


"The one where Duke falls into a Coma.. wait that doesn't narrow it down
at all... "The Traitor". We are dealing with some tough issues in this one.
Treason, Espionage, Illness, Surgery, Comas. It shows tention within the
Joe ranks and personal conflict interfering with duty. A real winner for
the series."
- Dillon Lee

And from the "What Drama ? " pile :

"Melodramatic ? All of them."
- GIJane

"There was drama in the cartoon?"
- Bullet

MAINFRAME : Second award of the evening for WWE !

ZARANA : Wasn't a clear victory though. Everybody seems to
have a favorite.

MAINFRAME : Well, not EVERYBODY.....

The "I use it in casual conversation" award for best quote from the toon !

1 - "Now begins the thousand year rule of Cobra !" - Serpentor, "Arise...."
1 - "I'm glad I wore my asbestos underwear today" - Doc, "Revenge of Cobra"
1 - "If I want your opinion, i'll beat it out of you !" - Serpentor "???"
1 - "Yo Joe" - Various
1 - "Well the mirror part works fine Doc.... I need a shave" - Clutch "Revenge..."
1 - "This I command" - Serpentor (various eps)
1 - "I wish you were triplets so I could hit three of you !" -CC, to the twins
"Pyramid Of Darkness"
1 - "Stick your head in a bucket and rust your face of" - Gung Ho to CC "???"
1 - "COBRAAAA" - Various
1 - "Didn't you read my green sheets ? I'm a man of action" - Duke ,"MASS..."
1 - "Hey, who's gonna ride with me ?" "Get a date on your own time. This
ain't the tunnel of love !" - Shipwreck and Gung Ho , Revenge of Cobra
1 - "What in the name of Sam Hill ?!?" - Hawk, (no ep given)
1 - "Ain't no lie, I love to fly" - Stalker, "MASS....."
1 - "Frogs in Winter" - Polly, "there's no place like Springfield"
1 - "Morons ! I have Morons on my payroll ! " - CC "Eau De Cobra"
1 - "Your powers of observation are only exceeded by your good looks,
Destro! " - CC, "Cold Slither"
1 - "You venal mercenary! Your acting couldn't get you onto a soap
opera ! " - Baroness , "Cobra's Funhouse"
1 - "All hail Cobra Commander, the great snake rules forever !" - Polly
"Pyramid of Darkness"


""Morons! I have morons on my payroll!" " Cobra Commander in Eau de Cobra
(it succinctly states why Cobra will never win :)"
- David Thorton

MAINFRAME : And the winner is...... Uhm... Waitaminute.....

ZARANA : Two.... four.... eight..... We have an eightteen-way tie !

MAINFRAME : Time to bring in the judges !!!!

ANNOUNCER : And our panel of esteemed judges, to break any ties
on the FLAGGS this year are..... Colonel Courage, Zartan and Judge
Dredd !!!

MAINFRAME : What does Judge Dredd have to do with GIJoe ?

ANNOUNCER : Surprisingly little. *ruffles through papers* Ah, yes.
Dredd was played by Sylvester Stallone, and Stallone also played
Rocky, who almost became a member of the Joe team.

ZARANA : That has to be the weakest link ever.

ANNOUNCER : Thank you, Ann Robinson. Judges ?

ZARTAN : A tough call...... Especially since I didn't get quoted once.

COL. COURAGE : I Vote for the asbestos thing, since John Missal made
SUCH a huge deal about it last year.

DREDD : Fine with me.

MAINFRAME : So the winner is..... Doc and his Asbestos Underwear !

JOHN (from the audience) : It's.....beattiful. *cries*

ZARANA : Ahem..... Next ?

The "Blow the budget on one guy" award for actor you'd most want to
do a voice !

1 - Vingh Rames (as Heavy Duty)
1 - Harrison Ford (unspecified)
1 - Clint Eastwood (unspecified)
1 - George C. Scott (as Colonel Sharp)
1 - Iron Eyes Cody (as Spirit)
1 - Tung (as Tunnelrat)
1 - David Alan Grier (as Crazylegs)
1 - Ed Norton (as Sci-Fi)
1 - Mel gibson (Battle Corps Gen. Flag)
1 - Maurice LaMarche (as Destro)
1 - Arnold Swarche..... That Terminator guy, OK ? -ed (as Crystal Ball)
2 - James Earl Jones (as member of old action team, as Destro)
2 - Bruce Campbell (as Shipwreck)

5 - Sean Connery (as Destro)

"Arnold Schwarzeneggar, can't you just see him doing Crystal Ball??"
- Phillip Donnely

"Me as Tunnel Rat"
- Tung (You're an actor ???? : ) -ed)

MAINFRAME : The Sean wins it !

ZARANA : Destro will be pleased.

The "Like em better than some episodes" award for best opening/end credits !

1 - Season 2 (Joes attacking Terrordrome)
3 - Season 1 (Cobras flying fortress)
3 - Revenge Of Cobra
6 - MASS Device (original opener)

7 - The Movie


"GI Joe the Movie. To tell a family secret, I still get goosebumps when I
hear Duke yell YO JOE!"
- Dillon Lee

MAINFRAME : Weren't you topless in the movie ?

ZARANA : You wish.....

The "Should have gotten a figure, dammit !" award for best cartoon-only
character !

1 - Admiral Lattimer
1 - Big Lob (???-ed)
1 - Pythona
1 - Mara
5 - Hector Ramirez

7 - Sparks

"Mara. I wish we got to see more of her."
- Dan Carber (in what way exactly ? -ed)

"Admiral Lattimer. He was an honorable man that had gotten too attached
to his ship. He didn't want to work for Cobra, but Pride got in the way of
duty. He was the only toon-exclusive character that had real depth."
- Dillon Lee

"Hector Ramirez was a classic character second only to Sesame
Street's Guy Smiley! (they shoulda made a figure of him)"
- The wildman Josh (you frighten me..... -ed)


"Hector Ramirez --Gotta love a Geraldo Rivera knock off...."
- John M

MAINFRAME : That knock-off sure gave Sparks a run for his money.

ZARANA : Yes, but he was beaten in the final stretch !

MAINFRAME : Let's see who we get to dump on now !

The "No toy ? what a *pity*" award for worst cartoon-only character !

1 - The Viper (The Vindow Viper)
1 - Amber (Quick Kick's GF from "Lazers in the Night")
1 - Mr. C
1 - Mara
1 - Director from "Lights, Camera, Cobra"
1 - Greenshirts
2 - Hector Ramirez

7 - Big Lob

"Hector Ramirez --it is, after all, a Geraldo Rivera knock off...."
- John M (It's because of people like you that Geraldo knock-offs
dye their hair. -ed)

"Big Lob.. why didn't they just shoot him?"
- Diana M (It's against Cobra's cartoon policy to shoot anybody -ed)

ZARANA : Hey, cheap shot.

MAINFRAME : (gives her an "oh, come ON" look.)

ZARANA : Yeah, allright.....

MAINFRAME : And now, we come to the two last awards of our category !

ZARANA : And we're gonna go out with a bang !

The "Fred Flintstone" award for FAVORITE CARTOON CHARACTER !

1 - Storm Shadow
1 - Wetsuit
1 - Hawk
1 - Serpentor
1 - Lady Jaye
1 - Clutch
1 - Firefly
1 - Sci-Fi
1 - Zartan
2 - Cobra Commander
2 - Beachhead
3 - Flint
4 - Duke

7 - Shipwreck

"Shipwreck. You gotta love that Jack Nicholson voice, plus hes gotta be the smoothest slacker of them all."
- Dan Carber, Dillon also made the Nicholson ref.

"Rick Hunter from Robotech"
- Tung (For some reason, that doesn't count -ed)

"Didn't you just ask this in question #16?"
- Warflight (no, that was for characters that didn't appear anywhere else,
you're not the only one that made the mistake though -ed)

ZARANA : That smelly, lazy no-good foulmouthed idiot won ?

MAINFRAME : Uhm... you just described any Dreadnock.....

ZARANA : I..... Shut up !

The "Wheelie" award for WORST cartoon character !!!

1 - Bazooka
1 - Deep Six
1 - Sparks
1 - Steeler
1 - Scrap Iron
1 - Duke
1 - Cobra Commander
1 - Flint
1 - Lady Jaye
1 - Scarlett
1 - Sgt. Slaughter
1 - Admiral Latimer
1 - Mercer
1 - Big Lob
2 - Roadblock
3 - Serpentor

5 - Lifeline

"Bazooka. He didnt come across as being smart enough to be a Dreadnok,
let alone a Joe."
- Dan Carber

"Serpentor. "This I Command" my rear end!"
- General Hawk

"Cobra Commander-- They made him too sucky"
- Tommy Dye

ZARANA : Lifeline..... Hero or wuss ?

MAINFRAME : We'll leave that up to the flamewars.... Anyway, our time
here is up, so goodnight everybody, and enjoy the rest of the show !

ZARANA : Wanna go make out ?

MAINFRAME : 'kay.....

Zarana and Mainframe walk offstage, to the tune of the end credits from
"Revenge of Cobra". CC and Hawk re-enter.

CC : Remind me to have a little talk with Tommy later.....

HAWK : Well, we've dissected the cartoon but good !

CC : Yesss. And I won an award too ! That's the important thing.

HAWK : Sure..... Anyway, let's get on with the show ! Time to
get the low-down on the COMIC !

ANNOUNCER : And here to present the awards in the comic
category....... SCARFACE and GENERAL FLAGG !

CC : Didn't we kill those guys ?

Hawk : they got better.

Scarface and General Flagg come down the stairs, to the tune of
Timelf's "Resurrection" dio series (if it had a theme tune, anyway), as
Cobra Commander and Hawk leave the stage.

FLAGG : Ahhh. Great to be here folks, presenting awards named in
my honor !

SCARFACE : No they weren't. They were randomly named.

FLAGG : Po-t-a-t-o , Po-t-A-t-o . Who are you again ?

SCARFACE : you know, Cobra's famous courier from the comic !

FLAGG : Not with you.....

SCARFACE : I carried a deadly virus ?

FLAGG : Doesn't ring a bell.

SCARFACE : I had a big scar on my face ?

FLAGG : Ah , yes, you're the guy that inspired kids to mess up their
Cobra trooper and Officer figures with exacto knives.

SCARFACE : Did not !

FLAGG : Did too !

CRYSTAL BALL (from balcony) : This is the way comic characters are
written ?

FRIDGE : (from balcony) : The way Timmer writes them anyway.....

FLAGG : Ahem..... What do you say we present the first award ?

SCARFACE : Sure !

The "Shakespeare, but with pictures !" award for BEST ISSUE EVER !

1 - No 22 (Like Chimney Sweepers Come To Dust)
1 - No 82 (Training Day)
1 - No 26 (The origin of Snake-Eyes)
1 - No 16 (Night Attack)
1 - No 2 (Panic at the North Pole)
1 - No 124 (Triple treat)
1 - No 43 (Crossroads)
1 - Yearbook 2
1 - No 74 (Cobra Civil War)
2 - No 109 (Death In The Desert)
2 - No 1 (Operation Lady Doomsday)
4 - No 155 (A letter from Snake-Eyes)
5 - No 50 (battle for springfield)

8 - No 21 (Silent Interlude)


"GI Joe #1. No other comic out of the run got me as excited and wanting
more as that one."
- Dan Carber

"G.I.Joe #1 ? Operation: Lady Doomsday was the best issue ever because
we saw futuristic and realistic weaponry, the bravery of the G.I.Joe team,
the horrors of the terrorist group known as Cobra and because the
commercial helped launch one of the coolest animated series on television."
- David thorton (essay writer and commercial connaisseur -ed)


"Deadpool 42. Spoof of GIJoe 21"
- John M ( Judge Dredd wants a word with you -ed)

"#21 The First "Silent" Issue. I'm not even a big Snake-Eyes fan but it
had all the things a Joe Fan boy dreams about. Grenades, Ninjas,
Explosions, Castles, Explosions, Love, Mystery, Explosions and Ninjas."
- Dillon Lee

"Issue #50, Battle of Springfield. Some GREAT action scenes and
battles...Serpentor was portrayed well, and Cobra ended up winning in the end.
Larry Hama writing, Rod Whigham art...a great, milestone issue."
- General Hawk

"Arrrrrrgggggggghhhh. If I absolutely must pick just one, then Marvel #21 has
to be it. Silent Castle."
- Jaegan ( I put you people through so much pain, don't I ? -ed)

FLAGG : Silent Interlude, for two years in a row !

SCARFACE : Are you talking to me ?

FLAGG : What ?

SCARFACE : I said, are you talking to me ?

FLAGG : What are you doing ?

SCARFACE : Al Pacino ! You know, "Scarface" !

FLAGG : That was "Taxi Driver".....

SCARFACE : Oh..... Next award !

The "I wasted good money on THIS ?" award for WORST ISSUE EVER !

1 - No 119 (Double Trouble)
1 - No 144 (Snake-Eyes : The Tale Untold)
1 - No 155 (A Letter From Snake-Eyes)
1 - No 1 (Reinstated, Image)
1 - Action Force 6 (Cobra-La cameo)
1 - No 88 (Python Patrol)
1 - No 1 (Operation Lady Doomsday)
1 - No 1 (G.I.Joe 3-D Of Birds an Men)
1 - No 21 (Silent Interlude)
1 - No 8 (Codename : Sea Striker)
3 - No 24 (Ladies Day)
3 - No 154 (Flying The Unfriendly Skies)

4 - No 1 (GIJoe Vs. Transformers)

"GIjoe 154. When did they hire Wesley Snipes to play Roadblock????"
- John Missal (It's people like you that make Wesley Snipes dye his hair. -ed)

"#21 - Chant with me Over-Rated! Over-Rated!"
- Mike T (The rest of the fandom would like a word with you -ed)

"#155 - Because it was the last issue of G.I.Joe. Excuse me while I go cry.
- Macdowin

FLAGG : I thought Transformers where well-liked.

SCARFACE : Transformers are liked, so is GIJoe, just not when put
together, it seems.

FLAGG : Crossovers, always hit or miss I suppose.....

The "Special" award for BEST Special Missions issue ever !

2 - No 6 ( Evasion)
1 - No 7 (Cobra consulate ruse)
1 - No 8 (Ambush)
1 - No 14 (In from the Cold)
1 - No 5 (Showdown)
2 - No 5 (Showdown)
2 - No 22 (Decisions)
5 - No 1 (That Sinking Feeling)

7 - No 2 (Words of Honor)

Honorable mention : Regular issue No 50 - introducing special missions (2 votes)

SCARFACE : A great winner !

FLAGG : It took a judges decision last year, but today, issue 2 is the
undisputed winner !

The "no contest, really" award for WORST special mission issue ever !

1 - No 25 (Forced Play)
1 - No 4 (No Holds Barred)
1 - No 26 (Passing of the guard)
1 - No 28 (Final issue)

8 - No 24 (Ladies Day)

"Lady's Day Out.... don't know the issue number, but it was Special Missions,
and I LOVED Special Missions.... but that one BLEW!!!"
- Warflight (nobody seems to remember the issue number -ed)

"#24 - Ladies' Day"
- Tim Frankovich ( THANK YOU ! 38 ballots counted, you're the first to
give me the issue number -ed)

"#28 Because it was the last issue. Don't make me cry again."
- Macdowin

SCARFACE : Crybaby.

FLAGG : No great upset with this years winner, huh ?

SCARFACE : I guess the writers were wrong thinking all the Joe girls
as cheerleaders would turn on the readers.

FLAGG : I blame Crystal Ball.

CRYSTAL BALL (from balcony) : HEY !

The "Best of the Best" award for BEST COMIC SERIES !

1 - GIJoe Vs. Transformers
2 - Yearbooks
3 - 2001 Image series
5 - Special Missions

22 - Regular


"Regular (so far... image is cool, but young... time may tell on this one)"
- Phillip Powers

"Special missions rocked when the regular series got stale"
- Diana M

"Cohesively, the new Image title, I think"
- Alec Trevelyan 006

"From what I've read, Special Missions defines what my Joes are about.
They're the best of the best that do a dirty job. No other Comic showcases
all the elements that made GI Joe cool for me better."
- Dillon Lee

"Regular Marvel run for now. I reserve the right to change my opinion next year,
once the DD team has more issues under their belt and I see how they handle
some things."
- Jaegan ( Uhm..Yeah, that's what the 2002 FLAGGS will be for -ed)

FLAGG : Biggest landslide yet tonight !

SCARFACE : Shouldn't they retire this award ?

FLAGG : I don't know, in 2002, the new imagine comic will be in full swing,
and Larry Hama is gonna be writing mini-comics, so watch this space !

The "R...Rosebud" award for best comic death !

1 - Mangler
1 - Thunder
1 - The ox (Special Missions, some kid's ox gets shot) (Don't ask -ed)
1 - Toxo Viper (falls into the plasmotox)
2 - Soft Master
2 - Doc
3 - General Flagg
4 - Cool Breeze
4 - Sneak Peek

6 - Serpentor
6 - Kwinn


"Kwinn. Great plot, great twist, and great closure."
- Dan Carber

"Sneak Peek. He was the only character that died as a result of something
truely HEROIC."
- John Missal

"Thunder. finally put him out his misery!"
- The Wildman Josh ( Ouch ! -ed)


"Serpentor. That shot of him getting nailed in the eye will stay in
my brain forever."
- Paul Jacoby (Serpentor feels the same way -ed)


"Serpentor. It made me giggle"
- Diana M

"Don't know the issue, but the one where the Soft Master get offed.... it was so
poetic, and so tragic. he sacrifices himself for the innocent, and the innocent get
killed anyway.... it really showed Cobra to be a threat, and not just some "James
Bondish" bad guy who wants to take over the world, but can easilly be stopped..."
- Warflight

"Storm Shadows death by the Baroness"
- Tommy Dye (Doesn't count, he got better -ed)



And from the "pick one already" pile :

"Oktober Guard"
- Marvlostoys (Be specific -ed)

"Battle Force 2000"
- Tung and Troy X

FLAGG : WE HAVE A TIE !

SCARFACE : Judges !

COLONEL COURAGE : Hmmm.... An interesting dilemma.

ZARTAN : I'd go with Serpentor, since I killed him.

COLONEL COURAGE : I'd pick Kwinn ! He took his ennemy with him !

JUDGE DREDD : A noble death.... I agree !

FLAGG : So it goes to Kwinn !

SCARFACE : I didn't get one vote......

FLAGG : Who are you again ?

The "Transformers movie shuttle scene" for WORST comic death !

1 - Cool Breeze
1 - General Flagg
1 - Raptor
2 - Serpentor
3 - Breaker

12 - Doc

"Battle Force 2000"
- Various (Guys, it's "death" not "deaths" -ed)

"Issue No 155 - The end of the Joe team !"
- KennyD (Cute, real cute -ed)

"Doc, because it just sucked that they killed him off"
- Diana M

"Breaker. To have such a classic character cast aside like that just pretty
much sucked."
- General Hawk (you guys don't write essays...Thank you -ed)


"Bullet: hmmm.... toughie...
Lynx: Doc. You don't shoot a medic.
Bullet: I doubt the Saw Viper cared...
Lynx: But you still don't shoot a medic"
- Bullet and Lynx (duh)

"Doc (I DIDN'T WANT REAL WAR) (Sorry for shouting, but man,
They killed the Doc. That wasn't cool.)"
- Jaegan

FLAGG : Doc wins it two years in a row !

SCARFACE : And with a landslide this time ! He got more votes than
all the others combined !

The "MichealAngelo (the painter)" award for best artist !

1 - Josh Blaylock
1 - Mike Vosburg
1 - Ron Garney
1 - Andy Kubert
1 - Golden
2 - Mike Zeck
2 - Rod Whigham
2 - M.D. Bright
2 - Ron Wagner
3 - Todd McFarlane

4 - Andrew Wildman


"Stan Lee"
- Earl Shelley (?????? -ed)

SCARFACE : Close race !

FLAGG : It's Wildman, by a nosehair !

The "Michealangelo (the ninja turtle)" award for WORST comic artist.

1 - Kurth
1 - Mike Vosburg
2 - Herb Trimpe
2 - Todd McFarlane
2 - Phil Gossier

4 - Tony Salmons

"Mcfarlaine, who is a twit"
- Diana M

"Everyone's going to say Wildman, but I think Mike Vosburg was more
consistent in his artistic drivel. Geez, lookit Ace in #17! I count
more big lips on his work than big mouths on Wildman anyday."
- Paul Jacoby (Seen the "best artist" winner yet ? -ed)

FLAGG : A clearcut winner.

SCARFACE : Not many voters, though.

FLAGG : Makes it interesting, one vote can make all the difference.

The "It's on my bumpersticker" award for best comic qoute !

1 - "Nobody ever died for a typewriter" (Roadblock, on the US Flag)
1 - "In order to conquer the weasel in others, you must first conquer the
weasel within" (Kwinn, on Bobby Heenan, OK, not really -ed)
1 - "Say! We could pull into a dark, secluded alley and 'pretend' to be
making out." (Clutch, to Covergirl )
1 - "The man who whips a dog will pull his own sled someday" (Kwinn)
1 - "Serpentor? Is that my name ? I seem to remember others.... But
Serpentor will do... for now." (Serpentor, duh)
1 - "They thought they had old Snake Eyes cornered.... General Flagg,
he shouldn't be allowed to carry that thing in his boot..." (Breaker)
1 - "Dag, why all the long faces ? Is Nixon president again ?" (Stalker)
1 - "Breaker: Signal's comin' in loud & clear! we can track it from here
to Georgia if need be!
Daina: Nyet! Georgia is Soviet territory!
Stalker: That ain't the Georgia that's on his mind sweety!
Col. Brekhov: (readies AK threateningly at Joes) . . .Quite right,
but the Georgia on MY mind is back in the USSR, so much for
levity. . ."click!"" (characters just mentioned)
1 - "This is bad, a pro shouldn't let the fight get personal... Naw, I'll
wait until after I stomp a few more Cobras" (Flint)
1 - "What are you staring at? We are not animals...we don't abandon our
brothers on the field.
Enough of this -- I go forth to press the foe! Who follows me?!!" (Serpentor)
1 - "This is a combat unit, we don't need a fireman!" "That's what everyone
says...until their house catches on fire!" (shipwreck and Barbeque)
1 - "Arrgh! Howmany purges do I have to conduct around here to get
some competent lackeys?!" (Cobra Commander)

2 - "..." (Snake Eyes)
2 - "I know you can't talk, but you could have at least written a note!" (Scarlett)
2 - "You're soldiers. your job is to do the impossible, and make it look easy."
(Hawk)

FLAGG : And another tie !!!

SCARFACE : Are we paying the judges ?

FLAGG : Are you kidding, we don't even get paid.....

COL. COURAGE : I'd sat scarlett is out, since those two votes came
from bullet and Jinx, who voted on the same ballot.

JUDGE DREDD : Agreed, and Snake Eyes already won an award for
not speaking, so he's out !

ZARTAN : Hawk it is !

FLAGG : Congratulations to our host !

CC (from backstage) : CO-HOST !

FLAGG : Whatever.

The "Customized one years ago" for favorite comic-only character !

1 - General Hollingsworth
1 - Dr. Venom
1 - General Flagg
2 - Cool Breeze
8 - Billy

10 - Kwinn

FLAGG : Kwinn takes another award home tonight !

SCARFACE : And this time, he's the undisputed winner !

The "Who the hell is that ???" award for worst comic-only character !

1 - The CIA spook (Anderson ? -ed)
1 - El Jefe
1 - Wolfgang (Wolkukukland president)
1 - General Liedercranz
1 - White Clown
2 - Dr. Venom
2 - Fred VII
3 - Billy
3 - Dr. Biggles-Jones

5 - Candy Apple (Bongo the balloon bear) (I can't make this up -ed)

"El Jefe...Talk about stereotypes..."
- John M

"Dr. Biggles-Jones. She was babe, but she bored me to tears. The only
thing vaguley interesting was the fact that in her first appearance you were
sure the famous scientist Cobra was after was the old man in the lab coat
not the cute girl in spandex.
The whole character revolved around one lame ploy.
Also, What the hells up with that name!?!"
- Dillon Lee

FLAGG : Seems fair.

SCARFACE : Yeah, I mean... Candy Apple.... That's funny if you say it once.

FLAGG : Barely.

The "They got it just right ! " award for favorite comic character !

1 - Kwinn
1 - Serpentor
1 - Tunnelrat
1 - Roadblock
1 - Duke
1 - Sci-Fi
1 - Firefly
1 - Destro
2 - Hawk
2 - Clutch
2 - Billy
2 - Cobra Commander
3 - Storm Shadow
3 - Flint
3 - Zartan

7 - Snake-Eyes



"That Blond Field Commander First Sgt. The one who wasn't indestructible
but kicked enough ass to make it worthwhile. The one Roadblock called
"Bad". Yeah...I think he's called Duke"
- Diana M

"Zartan, without a shadow of a doubt. His personality, his odd
powers/abilities were never displayed so well as in his hayday in the comics."
- General Hawk

" I'd say Flint. The comic made him the Han Solo of GI Joe. He was the
lovable rogue, a natural leader, and a brash but cunning tactician."
- Dillon Lee


FLAGG : That's why they made it "Starring Snake-Eyes" !

SCARFACE : God help us......

The "Wolverine he aint" award for Least favorite comic character !

1 - Weaponsmith
1 - Croc Master
1 - Headman
1 - Cesspool
1 - Tomax/Xamot
1 - Fred VII
1 - Sgt. Slaughter
1 - candy Apple (you know who -ed)
1 - Duke
1 - Flint
1 - Road Pig
1 - Sneak Peek
1 - Metal Head
1 - Baroness
1 - White Clown
2 - Raptor
2 - Firefly (Ninja)
3 - Serpentor

4 - Snake-Eyes


"Weaponsmith (GIJoe European Missions #9) All that time with Cover Girl,
and not a single successful pass completion..."
- John M

"Anything calling itself a ninja after the first 12 issues of the Marvel run."
- Diana M (THAT narrows it down -ed)

"Ninja Firefly. Firefly was cool, but Ninja Firefly was a dork"
- Dillon Lee

"WONDER TWIN POWER... ACTIVATE!!!"
- Warflight ( on the crimson twins... I hope -ed)

FLAGG : Holy cow ! This has never happened before !

SCARFACE : Snake-Eyes is the fandoms favorite AND least
favorite comic character !

FLAGG : What does that mean ?

SCARFACE : That our fanbase is really, really screwed up ?

The "Oddessy" award for best story arc !

1 - Oktober Guard Introduction
1 - Battle for Cobra Island/Creation of Cobra Island
1 - Clutches Past
1 - Outback and the POWs in Borovia
1 - Firefly returns as a Ninja
2 - The Battle For Springfield/Creation of Serpentor
2 - Scarlett in a Coma
2 - issue 12-19, 22 (regular series)
5 - Trucial Abysmia War
6 - Snake-Eyes, The Origin

8 - Cobra Civil War


"Ironically the Snake Eyes origin. Initially, that is. As it kept going forever,
it got stale and became the worst."
- Dan Carber

FLAGG : It was a close race there for a while, but the civil war retains the
award !

SCARFACE : Yeah, but mister super ninja is creeping up on it !

The "Maximum Clonage" award for worst comic story arc !

1 - Cobra civil War
1 - Fred VII and the paranoia soundwaves
1 - Firefly return as a Ninja
1 - Milville
1 - Fred shooting CC and taking over
1 - Ripcord/Candy arc
1 - GIJOE 3D - Of birds and men
2 - Snake-Eyes, The Origin
3 - Eco Warriors
6 - Maximum Ninjage (Starring Snake-Eyes and Ninja Force stuff)

8 - GIJoe Vs. The Transformers (mini series+regular series)

"Again, the Snake Eyes origin. Classic case of wanting to know more about him,
and the more you knew the less mystique the character had. Heck,
his mystique is what made him interesting."
- Dan Carber

"The whole Ninja stuff-what was that 140 issues out of 155?"
- KennyD

"It was really tiny and I bet no one remembers it. See, it involved Snake
Eyes and all that stuff. Brought the whole comic down."
- Diana M

"The whole "Snake Eyes, featuring G.I. Joe" thing"
- Gen. Hawk ( I think it was the other way around... Actually, good point -ed)

FLAGG : The Transformers are taking a pounding tonight !

SCARFACE : Serves them right for enslaving humanity !

FLAGG : Not once did they do that.

The "Hang it in the Louvre, baby" award for best comic cover !

1 - No 1 (GIJoe Special)
1 - No 23
1 - No 21
1 - No 28
1 - No 29
1 - No 31
1 - No 37
1 - No 50
1 - No 63
1 - No 67
1 - No 109
1 - No 110
1 - No 113
1 - No 121
1 - No 126
1 - No 145
1 - Yearbook 2
2 - No 139
2 - No 1
2 - No 2 (Image comic)

4 - No 43

"Bullet: #130-something... where Megatron is holding Cobra Commander...
Lynx: Shoulda had a back cover of Megs SQUISHING CC..."
- Guess who

FLAGG : A fine winner ! A try work of art ! WHOOHOO !

SCARFACE : You have no idea what it looks like, do you ?

FLAGG : Shut up.

The "Hang it in the Louvre's Latrine! " Award for worst cover art !

1 - No 1 (European Missions)
1 - No 1 (Order Of Battle)
1 - No 8
1 - No 26
1 - No 81
2 - No 24 (Special Missions)
2 - No 101
2 - No 155

3 - No 154

"G.I. Joe: European Mission #1, they're all grinning like idiots..."
- Philliph Donnely

"8. is that snake eyes shooting at stalker?"
- Mike Senger

SCARFACE : Low voter turnout.

FLAGG : Guess the covers were pretty well liked. Oh well, we're almost at
the end here !

The "Archie" award for funniest issue !

1 - No 23
1 - No 82
1 - No 151
1 - Yearbook 3 (second silent story)
2 - No 5
2 - No 24 (Special Missions)

3 - No 29

"I forget the title, the ones involving Headman, Cesspool, and "Ninja Force"
those were jokes, right?"
- Diana M

"Cobra Commander Captured at last the dialogue between Bludd and CC
is hilarious not to mention Roadblocks complaints about the food."
- Dzirhan


"Was "Lady's Day Out" TRYING to be funny?"
- Warflight

FLAGG : Ah, yes, had some good bits, that one.

SCARFACE : Southern law enforcement like dukes of Hazard you mean ?

FLAGG : Indeed. Anyway, time for the final award in the comic category !

The "Should be a novel" award for most dramatic issue !

1 - No 2 (Special Missions)
1 - No 19
1 - No 26
1 - No 26 (Special Missions)
1 - No 43
1 - No 71
1 - No 84
2 - No 19
3 - No 155

5 - No 109

" No 155 - The letter was very thought provoking. It was a very nice way
to end the series, even if it was ended prematurely."
- Macdowin

"#109. hyper realistic, shockingly so. absolute work of art!"
- The Wildman Josh

FLAGG : That's what you get when you kill off a bunch of Joes !

SCARFACE : Heh. Your death didn't get a single vote.

FLAGG : Neither did yours !

SCARFACE : Well, my body was never found.... So maybe I'll show up
someday as "the scarred master".

FLAGG : What scares me is that it's very possible..... Anyway, that's it
from us, hope you had fun, and enjoy the rest of the show !

General Flagg and Scarface exit the stage, to the music of the grateful dead,
as CC and Hawk re-enter.
HAWK : Comic ? Check. Cartoon ? Check.

CC : *sigh* I think I know what's coming next.....

HAWK : Yup, but let me give ya a hint anyway. "Wassss Oncssse a Man.....

CC : You're lucky we declare truce for the FLAGGS every year.

HAWK : "Oncssse a maaaan"..... Ahem. As you may have guessed
folks, it's time to present the awards for the MOVIE section ! And here
to present these awards are..... Golobulus and Starscream ! HUH ?

CC : I've been through this before, here's where things start to get weird....

The movie opening theme plays as Golobulus comes slithering down the
stairs, while Starscream flies in from above, transforming to land.

GOLOBULUS : Greetings, Earthlings !

HAWK : Aren't you an earthling too ?

GOLOBULUS : Uhmmm.... Yes, I guess. Greetings non-mutants !

HAWK : Are you a mutant ?

GOLOBULUS : Well.... No not really.

HAWK : Then what the hell are you supposed to be ?

GOLOBULUS : Uhm..... well I..... *sniff* I'M JUST A TORSO ON A
PLANT SPIKE, OKAY ? *cries*

HAWK : There there, big fella.....

GOLOBULUS : *sniff* I mean, the Transformers got a planet-eating super-
robot as the main villain. He-Man had skeletor.... I mean, my toy can't
even stand up straight !!

HAWK : Easy, big guy, easy.....

GOLOBULUS : I mean , the only reason I'm here, and not up on that
balcony with those other losers.....

CRYSTAL BALL AND THE FRIDGE : HEY !

GOLOBULUS : ....is because I was in the movie.

HAWK : It's okay, it's okay... It's not your fault.

GOLOBULUS : *sniff* I'm sorry... I'm not used to being in public anymore.

STARSCREAM : Weren't you dead ?

GOLOBULUS : Look who's talking....

STARSCREAM : Air commander Starscream of the Decepticon forces !
That's who's talking !

GOLOBULUS : That's not what I meant.....

CC : It's an honor to meet a representative of such an awesome, evil force !

STARSCREAM : Are you making fun of my voice ?

CC : N...no I'd never do that !

STARSCREAM : Then stop impersonating me !

HAWK : Come on, ragface, let's go so these gentlemen can get on with it.

Hawk and Cobra Commander rush offstage, being eyed suspiciously by
Starscream.

STARSCREAM : (mumbling) Disrespectful fleshling......

GOLOBULUS : Well, time for the first award in the MOVIE category, folks !

The "Everything before they spoke" award for best movie moment !

1 - Sgt. Slaughter fights Nemesis Enforcer
1 - Nemesis Enforcer's first appearance
1 - First battle for the B.E.T.
1 - Cobra Commander letting Pythona through to reach Serpy
1 - Introduction of the Renegades
1 - Sgt. Slaughter : "We all go home or nobody goes home"
1 - Sci-fi's appearance
2 - Introduction of Pythona
2 - End Credits

23 - Opening sequence/theme song/ opening credits


"Death of Duke....(oh wait...they edited that so he lived...nevermind)"
- John M

"the credits, cuz its over!"
- GI Jane


"Nemesis Enforcers first appearance beating the holy hell out of everyone!"
- Prozac

"(You mean besides the opening?)"
- Paul Jacoby (apparantly not -ed)

"The intro. Very slick, great music, nice choreography! If only the whole
movie had been that nicely done!"
- General Hawk

"When Sci-Fi bails from the AWE Striker
(Yes, he's in there, if you want me to go rent the DVD again
and tell you exactly where it is, I can, but I really don't want to have
to explain to the Blockbuster clerk why I am renting it AGAIN)"
- Sleepersports ( A Sci-Fi fan , apparantly -ed)

GOLOBULUS : *sniff* See ? The part that I'm not in wins.....

STARSCREAM : Are you gonna be this pathetic all the time ?

The "They shoot Old Yeller" award for WORST movie moment !

1 - Nemesis Enforcer falls into the ravine
1 - Lt. Falcon and Jinx kissing at the end.
1 - Final Joe assault on Cobra-La
1 - Trial of Cobra Commander
1 - Falcon being a lazy jerk
1 - The revelation of Cobra-La
1 - Duke goes into a coma
1 - Duke and Flacon fighting
1 - Serpentor screaming "Cobra-lalalalalaaaa
1 - Rawhide training
4 - "Duke's gonna be OK"
4 - Cobra commander gets turned into a snake

10 - (Dis)honorable mention : Everything after the opening sequence


"The rest... Ahem, OK, CC becoming a snake"
- Timmer

""he's...in a coma" ungh, overdramatization."
- Alec Trevelyan 006

"Any scene with Cobra-La in it"
- Darkhawk

"When Nemesis Enforcer and his wings that made him fly fell into the ravine.
He had wings, for cripes sake! Why couldnt he fly back up????"
- Dan Carber

"Duke's death"
- Serpentor (Doesn't count, didn't happen -ed)

"Those few lines that I can't figure out. What is a "carnal tree?" is it
Sexy? and what the Hell did Sgt. Slaughter say when he was slapping
Falcon?"
- Diana M (no idea how to put this in the votes -ed)

"The Final Joe assault on Cobra-La. Ten Joes defeat a whole Nation state
of enhanced snake men, Cobra Soldiers and Bio mutations... yeah right."
- Dillon Lee

GOLOBULUS : Hmmm... Is that a tie ?

STARSCREAM : No way ! I say give the award to the entire movie, save
the opening !

GOLOBULUS : Isn't that up to the judges ?

STARSCREAM : Not when you could crush the judges with one toe.....

GOLOBULUS : You don't have toes.

STARSCREAM : Neither do you, and you know what I mean.

GOLOBULUS : Fine, let's get on with it.....

The "Shining like a diamond in a swamp" award for best movie character !

1 - Cobra Commander
1 - Roadblock
1 - Chuckles
1 - Golobulus
1 - Duke
1 - Serpentor
1 - Big Lob
1 - Beach Head
2 - Jinx
2 - Tunnelrat
2 - Sgt. Slaughter
3 - Pythona
4 - Nemesis Enforcer
5 - Lt. Falcon

6 - Mercer

"Beach Head. What he had to put up with and how he handled the situations
were priceless."
- Macdowin

"Jinx... the only new Joe to not be clueless and abbrasive"
- EEJ (and she was a hottie -ed)

"Lt. Falcon, even if he was a jackass"
- Alec Trevelyan 006

"Mercer, 80's Bad Ass"
- Sleepersports (Not Sci-Fi ? -ed)

"Cobra Commander... something about him loosing his mind seemed like
something someone would do in that situation..."
- Warflight ( Slowly being turned into a snake can do that to ya -ed)


"tunnel rat. underused in all forms of joe"
- Mike Senger (Tung says "thanks" -ed)

"Mercer. Brutal, mean, and fresh out of Cobra. Really everything you
expect an ex-Viper to be."
- Dillon Lee

GOLOBULUS : Last year's host wins the award !

STARSCREAM : Maybe it's the accent ?

GOLOBULUS : And somebody voted for me !!

STARSCREAM : So ? Somebody also voted for Big Lob *shudder*

GOLOBULUS : But..... Shut up.

The "Wheelie , part 2" award for WORST movie character !

1 - Law
1 - Serpentor
1 - Pythona
1 - Roadblock
1 - Cobra Commander
2 - Sgt. Slaughter
2 - Chuckles
3 - Golobulus
6 - Lt. Falcon

12 - Big Lob

"Lt. Falcon. I'm sorry, but if you are a Green Beret, you wouldn't be
that much of a pussy (please feel free to edit that word out if needed)."
- John M ( The hell I will, you stand by your words hehehe -ed)

"All"
- Tommy Dye (Ouch -ed)

"Anything withe Cobra-La in the name, and anyone who's battle cry was
"COBRA-LALALALALALALALA!!!!!""
- Warflight (As precise as ever -ed)

"Pretty much the rest of Cobra La, but to pin it down, Golobulus"
- Joe Harris (THANK YOU ! -ed)

"Big Lob! Ooohhh.... play by play action, Like we NEEDED it?"
- bullet (Timmer makes a funny comment -ed)

STARSCREAM : See ? You weren't even close to winning this award !

GOLOBULUS : Yeah, I guess.... It's hard to top Big Lob, I suppose.

STARSCREAM : I'll say, this guy could give Wheelie a run for his money.

The "Use the Force, Duke" award for best movie quote !

1 - "Then I shall be your Eyes" (Cobra Commander)
1 - "Que pasa, Jinx ?" (Law )
1 - Cobra-lalalalalaaaa (Serpentor)
1 - "Shhh Pathetic" (Beach Head)
1 - "A Diamond that size answers all my questions" (Zartan)
1 - "Ive asked Beach Head to seep up the new recruit's training, General."
"That's easier said than done Duke, first they have to survive Beach Head"
(Duke and General Hawk)
1 - Nice legs for a greasemonkey" (Falcon)
1 - "Chuckles, next time, use the rocket launcher" (Beach Head)
1 - "Silence, or be silenced !" (Golobulus)
1 - "Ello ello ello" "Adios adios adios" (Buzzer and Law)

2 - "...you'll go home in a diddy-bag! An itty-bitty diddy-bag! (Slaughter)
2 - "Wassss a mannn" (The Snake formerly known as Cobra Commander)
2 - "The last thing you hear, will be the snapping of your own vertebrae"
(Golobulus)
2 - "I hope you both get fleas" (Beach Head to Law)

5 - "Law and Order, it's a theme, I drive the car, he finds the bombs...
We tried it the other way, but it didn't work." (Law)


" "****" Snake Eyes, that guy has a WAY with words"
- Warflight (He was in the movie for like one frame -ed)

" "*******" Sci-Fi as he bails from the AWE, that one brought a tear to
my eye"
- Sleepersports ( I hate you both -ed)

STARSCREAM : I preferred your quote, really.

GOLOBULUS : That vertebrae thing ?

STARSCREAM : Yeah, sounds menacing.... What's a vertebrae ?

The "I'd salute him in a warzone" award for character who should have
died in the movie !

1 - Snake-Eyes
1 - Jinx
1 - Sgt. Slaughter
1 - Chuckles
3 - Falcon
3 - Golobulus
3 - Big Lob
4 - Serpentor

9 - Duke

(Dis) honorable mention : All of Cobra-LA, 7 votes


"By the end, I didnt really care who made it out alive.
Was very disappointed in the whole thing once the whole
Cobra-La group came out."
- Dan Carber

"Snake Eyes *voter puts on flame retardant suit*"
- Prozac

"All of Cobra La and anything associated with it complete with Duke
waking up at the end complaining about the nightmare he had."
- Joe Harris

"DUKE! the movie woulda a made so much more sense if
he did. Or Slaughter.... we HATE Slaughter..."
- Bullet and Lynx (Wrestling critics -ed)



"Whoever decided to turn the rights over to DIC"
- Diana M

"The plot writers."
- Marvlostoys

"Everyone"
- Tommy Dye (Ouch, part 2 -ed)

"Like you REALLY need to be asking that question! You saw the movie...
you know DAMN WELL who should have died. Lt Falcon!
(okay... Duke too.... and several others as well)"
- Warflight

GOLOBULUS : Duke takes the darwin award two years in a row !

STARSCREAM : And rightly so..... That butcher.....

GOLOBULUS : We're not gonna get another rant how Duke's death
okayed the carnage of the Transformers movie, are we ?

STARSCREAM : No, I'm just glad this category is over !

GOLOBULUS : Agreed.... Have fun, pathetic fleshlings !

STARSCREAM : That's my line !

The closing theme from the movie plays as Golobulus exits, stage left,
while Starscream transforms and flies offstage. Hawk and Cobra
Commander re-enter.

CC : Glad we got that over with.....

HAWK : Agreed. So many painfull memories.

CC : You're not the one who got turned into a snake......

HAWK : Anyway, now we come to by far the biggest category in the
FLAGGS, with a whopping 54 awards to give out ! The TOYS section !

CC : *groan*..... Yeah, Timmer really outdid himself this year.

HAWK : Well, it takes people with stamina to present this section,
so this year, the presenters will be.... *shuffles papers* US !

CC : What ? You didn't even get a new toy !

HAWK : Yes I did !

CC : Sure, "Tomahawk". And that was in 2000 .

HAWK : Don't call me that. Anyway, you're stuck with me, so let's get on
with it.

CC : Fine. Let'ssss take a look at the very best of 2001 !

The "Hasbro Rulz DooD !" award for BEST FIGURE OF THE YEAR !

1 - Wetsuit
1 - Tripwire
1 - Destro
1 - Low Light
1 - Crimson Guard Immortal (Funskool)
1 - Leatherneck
1 - Rock Viper
2 - Shadow Viper
2 - Crossfire
2 - Zartan
2 - Sub Viper
3 - Sure Fire
6 - Fast Blast Viper
6 - Big Brawler

8 - Laser Viper


"Wet Suit, Love the paint sceme, besides we have the
same home town, wouldnt be right to not vote for him."
- Earl Shelley

"Big Brawler I know he looks like a used car salesman,
but he kinda grew on me."
- Phillip Donnely

My custom black ops Duke...oh, do you mean Hasbro's?"
- Diana M (Kinda, yeah -ed)

"Zartan (I don't care WHAT you think... he still ROCKS)"
- Warflight

"I'm going to give it to Laser-Viper."
- Corey Stinson (You almost did... If you'd have said Big Brawler.... -ed)

CC : Cobra takes the award !

HAWK : Hm hm.....

CC : And , for those of you keeping track, Cobra beat GIJoe figures 22 to
16 !

HAWK : Feh, everybody knows people love army builders.....

The "Hasbro Drulz DooD ! " award for WORST FIGURE OF THE YEAR !

1 - Sure Fire
1 - Low Light
1 - Flint
1 - Sub Viper
1 - Crossfire
1 - Shadow-Viper
1 - Big Brawler
1 - Cobra Commander
1 - Gung Ho
1 - Slythor
2 - Rock 'n Roll
2 - Wet Down
2 - Leatherneck
3 - Double Blast
4 - White-Out
7 - Zartan

8 - Destro


"Sub Viper. Does this code name mean that he is below a viper,
not equal to a viper?"
- John M ( He voted for Sub-Viper as best figure too, the %$/ -ed)

""Leatherneck" If that is his real name"
- Marvlostoys ( It's a codename -ed )

"Double Blast (stupid attempt at a new character using a figure that's
too individualized)"
- Joe Harris


"any that had their name changed (I know, its a copyright thing..)"
- GI Jane

CC : Hear that ? "Tomahawk" ?

HAWK : STOP CALLING ME THAT. Ahem.... Anyway, it came down to the
last ballot counted, folks !

CC : And GIJoe beat Cobra here in overall votes, even with Zartan and
Destro being number one and two !

HAWK : We'll, we've rated the new troops, now let's rate the new vehicles !

The "Got a dozen of them" award for BEST VEHICLE/PLAYSET OF THE
YEAR !

1 - Wave Crusher
2 - NLC
3 - GIJoe HQ
6 - AWE Striker
10 - Desert Striker

15 - HISS III

CC : Cobra rakes up another one ! Divide and conquer !

HAWK : Huh ?

CC : While the Joes have several fine vehicles, dividing up the vote,
Cobra punched through with the HISS, a timeless classic ! That's
Hasbro's strategy, so Cobra can win votes !

HAWK : Hasbro gears their products so Cobra performs well in the FLAGGS ?

CC : Off course !

HAWK : I always knew you were delusional, but this takes the cake.....

The "Might as well have been neon" award for WORST VEHICLE/PLAYSET
OF THE YEAR !

1 - AWE Striker
2 - Joe HQ
5 - Desert Striker
7 - NLC

8 - Wave Crusher


"Wave Crusher. I already have a black one, a white one, and a silver one,
what do I need with a blue one?"
- John M (Gotta Catch 'Em All ? -ed)

"The Desert Striker. While the Vamp mold is cool, all the crap they
stick on the DS makes it look terrible. Playability might be there, but it does
nothing for me. Agian, I go against the grain."
- Dillon Lee

"is the sub with lamprey from 2001? it not than NLC"
- Tung (No it isn't . A lot of people chose this, but it doesn't count,
as it's a 2000 vehicle. And it won this award last year. -ed)

"The Wave Crusher, I'm STILL trying to put it together & there's too
many Cobra subs anyways!"
- Paul Jacoby

HAWK : Hey, Cobra scoops up another award !

CC : What's important is that Joe got more votes than Cobra.

HAWK : No it isn't.

CC : Besides, the Wave Crusher is a Joe design.

HAWK : Whatever, now we come to a big award !

The "Perfection thou hath a name" award for BEST FIGURE EVER !

1 - Fastdraw
1 - Gnawgahyde
1 - Tollbooth
1 - Serpentor
1 - Star Brigade Roadblock (1994 - Orange)
1 - Tiger Force Blizzard (Euro exclusive)
1 - Freefall
1 - Mutt v1
1 - Flint v1
1 - Duke v3
1 - Gung Ho v2 (dress blues)
1 - Falcon v2
1 - Alpine
1 - Snowjob v1
1 - Firefly v1
1 - Beach Head v1
1 - BAT v1
1 - Storm Shadow v1
1 - Destro v2
1 - Sci-Fi v1
1 - Satan (Argentinian Storm Shadow repaint)
1 - Shockwave (Nightforce)
2 - Zartan v1
2 - Hawk v2
2 - Outback v1
2 - Scarlett v1
2 - Hit 'N Run v1
2 - Crimson Guard v1


3 - Snake-Eyes v2

"Hands down, Fastdraw...any guy who had the balls to strap 2 missiles to
his back is a-ok in my book."
- Fastdraw (Didn't see that vote coming -ed)

"Serpentor"
- Serpentor (Didn't see that coming either -ed)

"82/83 Scarlett. That they released a FEMALE character that early was
just wicked! And her accessories were cool...
too bad her hair wasn't long, but ya win some, you lose some!"
- Bullet and Lynx


"Tiger Force Blizzard YELLOW SNOW.?!?!?!?!?"
- John M

"Good heavens... '84 Zartan. GREAT design, cool gimmick, a fun little
vehicle. You just can't beat it!"
- General Hawk

"Original Zartan. I'm not a big Zartan fan, but a figure that has a mask, AND
changes colours! That just ROCKS!!! The play value was there, and with
REINFORCEMENTS!"
- Warflight


"Hawk v2, always said "Heroic" to me"
- Phillip Donnely (My figures never talk to me -ed)

"B.A.T. version 1(86) (i see myself holding the package of the BAT back in the
days, and being truly amazed and thrilled by this figure, I mean...
that chestplate, those weapons! what more did you want as a kid?!)"
- Marijn Willems

And from the "You meanie, I can't pick just ONE" pile :

"Too many to list... seriously."
- Marvlostoys

"too hard to choose"
- Joe Harris

"(I'm skipping these too, way to many to choose just one ;)"
- Jaegan

HAWK : Again, two years in a row, Snake-Eyes takes the award !

CC : Yesss.... And yet again, we can't speak of a true favorite, even
though we got more voters this year.

HAWK : Maybe it really is too hard to choose !

The "Real American Hero" award for BEST GOOD GUYS FIGURE EVER !

1 - Outback (Nightforce)
1 - Outback v1
1 - Snake-Eyes (94)
1 - Cold Front v1
1 - Star Brigade Roadblock (1994, orange)
1 - Recondo v1
1 - Duke v3
1 - Tollbooth
1 - Shipwreck v1
1 - Flint v1
1 - Alpine
1 - Grunt v1
1 - Snake-Eyes v1
1 - Sci-Fi v1
1 - Snow Job v1
1 - Supertrooper
1 - Beach Head v2
2 - Scarlett v1
2 - Shockwave (Nightforce)
2 - Falcon
2 - Hit 'N Run v1
2 - Hawk v2
2 - Duke v1
3 - Beach Head v1

5 - Snake-Eyes v2


"Hard to choose. They are so sensitive, and they're all looking at me
from their shelf."
- Diana M

"Cold Front - in an attempt to not have Snake Eyes v2 get the prize..."
- Marvlostoys (fat chance -ed)

"82-83 Grunt. Simple. To the point. Every accessory in the accessory
packs fit him. He IS the green army man!"
- Warflight

HAWK : That's two in a row !

CC : Yeah, superman strikes again.....

HAWK : Wanna know a secret ?

CC : What ?

HAWK : I am Snake-Eyes' sisters cousins neighbours brother !

CC : That'ssss great. Have a lollipop. Now let's celebrate my lot !

The "Evil, pure EVIL" award for BEST BAD GUYS FIGURE EVER !

1 - Firefly v2
1 - AVAC
1 - Cobra Commander (Battle Corps)
1 - Rock Viper v2
1 - Major Bludd v1
1 - Golobulus (couldn't believe it either -ed)
1 - Crimson Guard Immortal
1 - Decimator
1 - Iron Grenadier
1 - BAT v1
1 - Viper v1
1 - Destro v1
1 - Baroness v1
1 - Night Viper
2 - Storm Shadow v1
2 - Alley Viper v1
2 - Cobra (AKA Cobra trooper, AKA Cobra soldier, AKA those blue dudes)
2 - Ripper
2 - Firefly v1
2 - Cobra Commander v2 (hooded)
2 - Snow Serpent v1
2 - Cobra Commander v1
4 - Crimson Guard v1

5 - Zartan v1

"Snow Serpent, every accessory he owned had a place on his person,
plus he was just really menacing looking."
- Fastdraw (Can't wait for the 2002 version either, huh ? -ed)

"Alley Viper v1. Bright colors or not this is one mean figure.
He obviously isn't afraid to take a little fire, what with the face plate
and combat shield.
He also isn't afraid to return it because he sports one of the
coolest Submachine gun/Backpack combos of any Cobra since Firefly."
- Dillon Lee

"Battle Corps Cobra Commander radiates pure evil"
- Dzirhan (Only neon figures radiate -ed)

"The Dreadnoks. Ripper Buzzer and Torch. They look
hot on harleys!"
- Bullet and Lynx ( oh brother -ed)


"Tomax and Xamot carded(must be carded, they look awesome like this!)
or Crimson Guard v1 (85), but my malehood says
THE BARONESS(84) YEAH!"
- Marijn willems ( two figures don't count, so the CG gets the vote as first
listed figure. Malehood be damned -ed)

CC : Zartan, my most loyal employee !

HAWK : Didn't he betray you a bunch of times ?

CC : Who didn't ?

HAWK : Good point.

CC : But I alwaysss stayed on top !

HAWK : Really ?

CC : Yes.

HAWK : What about the MASS Device, when Destro took over ?

CC : Uhm.....

HAWK : Or the second season, when Serpentor took over ?

CC : I....

HAWK : Or Fred shot you in the comic, or Overlord replaced you in the
toys. Or the Crimson Twins in pyramid of Darkness ?

CC : Shut up, shut up, shut up !

HAWK : It's OK, let's make fun of somebody else !

The "Not worth the plastic it's made from" award for WORST FIGURE EVER !

1 - Toxo-Zombie
1 - Windchill v2
1 - Breaker v2
1 - Duke (Star Brigade)
1 - Lampreys v2
1 - Zartan v2
1 - Snake-Eyes v1
1 - Snake Eyes (Ninja Force)
1 - Sea Slug
1 - BAAT
1 - Dr. Mindbender v1
1 - Robo-Joe
1 - Armadillo
1 - Psyche-Out v1
1 - Monstro-Viper
1 - Sneak Peek v1
1 - Sure Fire
1 - Big Boa
1 - Ice Cream Soldier (Yet we're killing eachother to get his %*$/ repaint -ed)
2 - T'gin-zu
2 - Rock 'N Roll v5
4 - Golobulus (spelled in quite a few ways -ed)

10 - Crystal Ball


"Your favorite soap carving and mine..Windchill v2"
- Dan Carber

"That would have to be Crystal Ball, I really don't need to go into
detail on this one."
- John M

"Ninja Force Snake Eyes. Take a somewhat cool design and completely
destroy it with stupid gimmicks and lack of articulation.
A spit in the face to Snake Eyes..."
- General Hawk


"That guy they made all black in the first run because they didn't want to
spend the money on paint"
- Diana M (I'm guessing Snake-Eyes)

"sea slug the ugly purple wearing guy/girl from the sea ray"
- Tung

"Any of the Maninals..."
- Joystick

"Any of the $&#(@ Ninja Force, pick one, probably the one with the most Neon"
- Sleepersports


"Well.... we need a "Hall of Suck" for the list of these...
but lets start with Ninja Force, and work our way from there...
IN BOTH DIRECTIONS! Actually, if you want me to name names,
we can start with Crystal Ball. Who names their "boy" Crystal!?!
The figure just SUCKED! He wasn't the first, and not the last either."
- Warflight (venting -ed)

HAWK : No surprises there !

CC : you can say.....

CRYSTAL BALL (from balcony) : I'LL KILL YOU, I'LL KILL ALL OF YOU !

Just then, the Fridge wacks Crystal Ball on the head with a football stick.

HAWK : Thank you.

The "Nothing good about him" award for WORST GOOD GUYS FIGURE EVER !

1 - Sure Fire
1 - Avalanche
1 - Leatherneck (2001)
1 - Crossfire
1 - Cross Country v1
1 - Armadillo
1 - Storm Shadow (Ninja Force)
1 - Chuckles
1 - Snow Storm (1993)
1 - Windmill
1 - Robo-Joe
1 - Rock 'N Roll (1997)
1 - Snake Eyes (Ninja Force)
1 - Lifeline v1
1 - Law v2
1 - Law v3 (Battle corps)
1 - Windchill v2
1 - Clean Sweep
1 - Barbeque v3
1 - Bushido (Shadow Ninja)
1 - Hotseat
1 - Deejay v1
2 - Sneak Peek v1
2 - Grunt v1
2 - The Fridge
2 - Psyche-Out v1
2 - Ice Cream Soldier
2 - Breaker v2

3 - Deep six v1


"My vote would go to Avalanche, something about him just reminds me so
much of the Stay Puft Marshmallow man....it still scares me to this day."
- Fastdraw

"Cross Country and his big ol head"
- Diana M

"Grunt v1. He's got swollen eyes and he's balding. He just doesnt look
like he needs to be in the field, maybe behind a file clerks desk somewhere."
- Dillon Lee

"Battle Corps Law. What is that getup he's wearing? It's not the
middle ages anymore."
- Marvlostoys

"Mega Marines Clutch neon orange- whoop de doo"
- Dzirhan

"Lifeline. It's like saying here I am, moving target! Shoot me!"
- GI Jane

"Easy one... Ice Cream Soldier ... otherwise known as
"Shoot me please, I have a dumb name" "
- EEJ

"As far as figures go, V1 Deep Six did NOTHING! Oh, don't get me wrong,
I HAD to have that figure, but why couldn't his diving suit be a shell that
pops off like SNAKE armor? he wasn't a figure, he was a statue!"
- Warflight

"Straight Arm Grunt, he's Cro Magnon"
- Sleepersports

HAWK : Close call, very close call !

CC : Still, that's what you get for being only slightly more articulated
than a brick.....

HAWK : Even the gimmick where you could blow air up his hose didn't
save him....

Cobra Commander gives Hawk a strange look....

HAWK : I didn't just say that......

The "Bad guys and BAD guys are two different things" award for WORST
BAD GUYS FIGURE EVER !

1 - Major Bludd v3
1 - Toxo-viper v1
1 - Lampreys v2
1 - Zartan v2
1 - Storm Shadow (2000)
1 - Destro (Armor Tech)
1 - Make-Your-Own-Cobra
1 - Monstro-Viper
1 - BAAT
1 - Zarana
2 - Bio-Viper
2 - Headman
2 - Toxo-Zombie
3 - Big Boa
4 - Golobulus
4 - Raptor

6 - Crystal Ball



"This was getting into an area I didn't like. If I don't like Aliens, I am sure
as heck not gonna like zombies."
- Macdowin (what about alien zombies ? -ed)

"Toxo-viper. He makes me want to vomit."
- Dan Carber (I'm not sensing a lot of love for the leaky-suit-brigade from
you two -ed)

"1993 Zartan, how to butcher a great figure 101"
- Earl shelley

"Ice Cream Soldier"
- Prozac AND Paul Jacoby (Not really a bad guy, dudes -ed)

"any destro after v2"
- Tung (THAT narrows it down -ed)

"Any of the Manimals"
- Joystick, Joe Harris

HAWK : He's still knocked out, right ?

FRIDGE (from balcony) : Yup !

CC : Good. So we've taken care of the figures, now let's take care of
the vehicles !

The "I want a real-life version" award for BEST VEHICLE/PLAYSET ever !

1 - Rattler (original plane)
1 - Moray
1 - WHALE
1 - Tomahawk
1 - Night Raven
1 - Rolling Thunder
1 - Defiant
1 - AWE Striker
1 - Joe HQ (83)
3 - Mobile Command Center
4 - Terrordrome
2 - HISS (original)

22 - USS FLAGG


"U.S.S. Flagg, just for the simple fact that it has to be, hands down,
the largest playset ever made for "little" toys, Plus the playability
factor wasn't hindered by it's size. And you could put just about all your
figures at the time on it."
- Fastdraw

"U.S.S. Flagg even though I don't own it...I can only imagine the greatness!!"
- General Hawk

"The USS Defiant (I decided on the vehicle/playset I have, and not the Flagg,
which is the one I ALWAYS wanted!)"
- Warflight (Nice, but the USS Defiant is a Star Trek toy -ed)

"Flagg (close toss up with defiant, but the Flagg is 7 feet long ;)"
- Jaegan (Maybe Keel Haul was overcompensating for something ? -ed)

HAWK : Wow. Nothing else even came close !

CC : Well , we are talking about one freaking huge toy here.

HAWK : Maybe FLAGG owners really are overcompensating for
something....

CC : You realize they'll kill you for that remark, right ?

The "Guess what ?" award for BEST GOOD GUYS VEHICLE/playset EVER !


1 - BF2000 Future Fortess
1 - Wolverine
1 - Skystriker
1 - Thunderclap
1 - Equalizer
1 - APC
1 - Check Point Alpha
1 - Vamp
1 - Battle Wagon
2 - Defiant
2 - Tomahawk
2 - WHALE
3 - Mobile Command Center
4 - GIJOE HQ (Original)

18 - USS FLAGG

HAWK : No real surprises there.

CC : Can we move on ? I'm getting sick of that thing.....

The "Bad to the bone" award for BEST BAD GUYS VEHICLE/playset EVER !

1 - Rage (original)
1 - Ferret
1 - Crimson HISS/SMS
1 - HISS III
1 - Mamba
1 - BUGG
1 - Stinger
1 - Water Moccasin
2 - Rattler (original plane)
3 - Night Raven
4 - Moray
4 - HISS (original)

16 - Terrordrome

"Tough call. I'd give the edge to the Terror Drome, just by it's sheer size
and cool-factor. Of course the Firebat goes along with that."
- General Hawk (Don't forget the AVAC! -ed)

CC : There we go ! The biggest and baddest Cobra toy !

HAWK : Feh, it's petite compared to the FLAGG.

CC : NOW who's overcompensating for something ?

The "Waste of good plastic" award for WORST VEHICLE EVER !

1 - BF2000 Future Fortress
1 - Battle Copters
1 - Ice Saber
1 - Fort America
1 - MCC
1 - Brawler
1 - Triple T Tank
1 - Cobra Rifle Range
1 - Sonic Fighter Apache
1 - Cobra Battle Barge
1 - Razor Blade
2 - GIJoe HQ 1992
2 - Cobra Pogo
2 - Cobra earthquake
3 - Ninja Cycle (1993)
3 - Cobra Buzz Boar
4 - Cobra Septic Tank

6 - Cobra Rat


"Cobra Rat. Oh, if only I could melt it into toilet paper so I could show
what I really think"
- Dan Carber

"that rolling headquarters. What are the Joes.. jawas? Utini!!!!"
- Diana M

"Fort America. A tank disguised as a wall. I think this was supposed to
be a Ninja Turtle Accessory."
- Dillon Lee

"The Cobra Rat. Flimsy vehicle with terrible weapons and thought into
it at all. Whoever thought this hunk of plastic crap up ought to be
keel hauled."
- General Hawk


HAWK : The Cobra Rat wins it ! And I might add that Cobra rakes in quite
a few votes here ! You guys drove some crap in your day.

CC : Talk to Destro. I didn't design the Earthquake. Or the Rat.

HAWK : Don't you have to approve each design ?

CC : Next award !

The "Lowest bidder" award for WORST GOOD GUYS VEHICLE !

1 - Badger
1 - Silver Mirage
1 - Coastal Defender
1 - Battle Copters
1 - Power Fighter
1 - Mudbuster
1 - Sky Sharc
1 - Tactical Battle Platform
1 - Retaliator
1 - Eco Striker
1 - Road Toad
1 - Razor Blade
1 - MCC
1 - Fort America
1 - USS FLAGG
1 - Thunderclap
1 - Beast Blaster
1 - Ghost Striker
2 - Recon Sled
2 - Brawler
2 - Swamp Smasher
3 - Sonic Fighter Apache

4 - Ninja Lightning/battle axe


"the uss flag, because i don't have one"
- Mike Senger

HAWK : Combining the ninja vehicles ?

CC : It's in the theme song : "It's time to mock ninjas"

HAWK : Oh.

The "MARS has a pointy-haired-boss" award for worst bad guys vehicle !

1 - Hammer (??? -ed)
1 - Battle Copters
1 - Ice Snake
1 - Liquidator
1 - Rifle Range
1 - Dreadnock Swampfire
1 - Ninja Force Piledriver
3 - Battle Barge
3 - Pogo
3 - Buzz Boar
4 - Septic Tank
6 - Earthquake

8 - Rat

"Now I'm sure most will say Buzz Boar, but that one didn't suck so bad...
what REALLY sucked was the hover craft thing.....
it was a square piece of plastic that a figure sat on,
and it looked like NOTHING!"
- Warflight ( I'm guessing the Rat ? -ed)


CC : Second award for the Rat !

HAWK : The ol' neon bulldozer of DOOM put up a good fight though.

CC : Are you mocking me ?

The "OK, I made too many awards" award for best small vehicle ever !

1 - Packrats
1 - ATV backpack
1 - Razor Blade
1 - Adder
1 - Battle Bear
1 - Trouble Bubble
2 - Devilfish
2 - FANG II
3 - CLAW
4 - Silver Mirage
4 - Skyhawk
4 - Armadillo

6 - Ferret
6 - FANG (original)


"The Silver Mirage. Motorcycles are cool, add a sidecar with a huge
Cannon and you've got a winner."
- Dillon Lee

"Cobra Adder. sure, it was kinda cheesy, but I loved it as a kid!"
- The wildman Josh

"Claw"
- Warflight (deleted long, LONG rant where he decides what to vote for,
and suggests an extra award -ed)

"There were so many good ones in the early years."
- Corey Stinson (Thanks man, big help : ) -ed)

HAWK : We have a tie !

CC : Then it goes to the judges !

ZARTAN : Quite a difficult call to make.

COL. COURAGE : Yes. Well, the Fang has a gun, a bomb and missiles !

ZARTAN : But the Ferret has missiles, a gun and a cannon !

DREDD : Well, the Ferret has that easy-to-loose hose !

ZARTAN : But the Fang has that easely-broken red rollbar thing.

COL. COURAGE : This is just impossible.

DREDD : See what Timmer puts the FLAGGS voters through ?

ZARTAN : Cointoss ?

DREDD : OK .

COL. COURAGE : And the winner is...... the FANG !

CC : Excellent..... And such a well-tought-out process....

HAWK : Yes. Next ?

The "turd thingy" award for WORST small vehicle !

1 - Cobra Detonator
1 - Coastal Defender
1 - Manta (sailboard thing)
1 - Man-O-War
1 - Bomb Disposal
1 - Trouble Bubble
1 - Ammo Dump
1 - Swamp Smasher
1 - Mobile Battle Bunker
1 - Battle Barge
1 - Ninja Lightning
1 - FANG (original)
1 - Ferret
2 - Pogo
2 - Silver Mirage
2 - Recon Sled
2 - Cobra Jet Pack
3 - Road Toad
3 - Tank car (motorised backpack)
4 - Cobra Rat

5 - Buzz Boar


"A sailboard? Please. Sure its quiet. you'll get quietly blown away"
- Diana M

"The Motorized Action Pack Tank Car!!!! Scrap Iron would fall over
laughing if he saw it."
- Paul Jacoby

"Silver Mirage. Cool to look at, but you ever try to play with one?"
- Warflight

"FANG (great vehicle, but way too easily broken)"
- Jaegan

"Silver Mirage (because it breaks too easy!)"
- Tim Frankovich (sturdy construction me a..... -ed)

HAWK : And here I thought the Buzz boar wasn't gonna win any award tonight !

CC : It had it coming.....

The "not too big, not too small, just right !" award for best medium sized
vehicle !

1 - Blockbuster
1 - Slugger
1 - Warthog
1 - HISS II
1 - Mean Dog
1 - Skystriker (Little big, isn't it ? -ed)
1 - Rattler (Ditto -ed)
1 - Cobra Rage (1997 version)
1 - STUN
1 - Wolverine
1 - Mauler
1 - HISS III
1 - Cobra Wolf

2 - Stinger
2 - Water Moccasin
2 - Moray (Too big I think -ed)
2 - HAVOC
2 - AWE Striker
2 - VAMP (mark II)
5 - Thunder Machine

6 - VAMP (original)



"VAMP VAMP VAMP, after reusing the mold so many times they figured
they must have got something right, and they did."
- Fastdraw

"I'll have to go with the HAVOC. Mainly because of childhood memories.
Tons of fun and like the Rolling Thunder on the borders of realism and
fantasy. I think kids like that, I know I did."
- Dillon Lee

HAWK : It was suspensfull till the last ballot was counted folks !

CC : And the Vamp wins it !

HAWK : I think it's the most reused vehicle mold. They did something
right .

The "Neon Pinto" award for WORST medium sized vehicle.

1 - Shark 9000
1 - Patriot
1 - Persuader
1 - BUGG
1 - Shark (original)
1 - HISS II
1 - Brawler
1 - STUNN
1 - Rat (??? little small, isn't it ? -ed)
1 - Eco Striker
1 - Triple T Tank
1 - Dreadnock Cycle
2 - Ninja Force Battle Axe
2 - Desert Fox
2 - Thunder Machine
3 - Septic Tank
3 - HAVOC

4 - Earthquake


"Any of those damned Battle Force 2000 monsters"
- Dillon Lee

"*anything* that used the SHARC mold"
- The wildman Josh (You guys just can't decide, can ya -ed )

"The Brawler. Huge and silver with bright orange exploding armor.
Need I say more??"
- General Hawk

HAWK : The neon Dozer of DOOM !

CC : Will you stop that ?

HAWK : Time for the big boys to play !

The "I'd have a dozen if I had the room" award for best large vehicle !

1 - Mobile Command Center
1 - Crusader shuttle
1 - General
2 - Thunderclap
2 - Sky Raven
3 - WHALE
6 - Tomahawk
6 - Skystriker
7 - Rolling Thunder

8 - Night Raven

"Tomahawk. If that counts as a large vehicle. Still trying to find one.
Do I get a Flemmish version for filling out this survey???"
- Dan Carber ( Survey says : No -ed)

"Rolling Thunder, just the thought of nukes in my hands at the age of 11
was very pleasing in my pursuit of world domination on my basement"
- Fastdraw ( I fear you -ed)

"The Night Raven just plain rocks. A great spy plane with lots of cool
features and weapons and a terrific pilot. This gets my vote all the way!"
- General Hawk

CC : Ahhh. A great vehicle. Large, beautiful, deadly.

HAWK : I know it well, we shot down enough of them.

The "Huge hunk-o-crap" award for WORST large vehicle.

1 - Mamba
1 - Tiger Fly
1 - Mobile Command Center
1 - Phantom Stealth
1 - Hammerhead
1 - USS FLAGG
1 - General
1 - Mobile Battle Bunker
2 - Fort America
2 - Detonator
2 - Earthquake
2 - BUGG
3 - Condor
3 - Thunderclap

4 - Armor Bot


"Tiger Fly Who needs a helicopter painted like a tiger?"
- Phillip Donnely

"Umm, the Big robot thingy."
- Diana M

CC : The big robot thingy wins it !

HAWK : Can't blame the figure it came with !

CC : Sure we can......

The "Big, bad, badass" award for best playset !

1 - General
3 - Defiant
5 - Moblile Command Center
8 - Terrordrome

21 - USS FLAGG

"FLAGG. this is sort of a very redundant question...."
- Diana M (I'm beginning to see that, yes -ed)

CC : No surprises there.

HAWK : I dunno, the Terrordrome has its fans too.

The "Huge waste of palstic" award for WORST playset !


1 - GIJoe HQ (original)
1 - Fort America
1 - BF2000 Future Fortress
2 - Toxo-Lab
2 - Mobile Command Center
2 - Sears exclusive Cobra Missile Base
3 - USS FLAGG
3 - General

4 - Dragon Fortress
4 - GIJoe HQ 92 version
4 - Defiant


"The Sears Cobra Missile HQ or whatever its called.
Look its Cobra Commander in front of a cardboard stand up! wow..."
- Dillon Lee


"I'm going to say Mobile Command Center here because it's just
really.... silly."
- Marvlostoys

"Okay... that would be the playset that you put together with all the
BF2000 vehicles... it was the base of SUCK! The HQ for the
"Legion of Suck"!"
- Warflight (he paints a pretty picture, doesn't he ? -ed)

HAWK : A new tie !

ZARTAN : It seems obvious.

COL . COURAGE : How so ?

ZARTAN : The Dragon fortress IS the 92 HQ, just in even WORSE colors.

DREDD : So it should get the votes that went to the 92 HQ ?

ZARTAN : Exactly !

HAWK : The Dragon Fortress takes it with 8 votes !

CC : Are we through with the vehicles now ?

HAWK : Uhhh.... yeah.

CC : Finally !

VOICE FROM THE AUDIENCE : YEAH !

The "Flagpoints FLAGG" award for BEST EXCLUSIVE MAIL-IN FIGURE !

1 - Steel Brigade figure (gold helmet)
1 - Snow Serpent (Artic Assault)
1 - The Fridge
1 - Sgt. Slaughter v1
1 - Joe Colton
2 - Ninja-Viper
3 - Steel Brigade figure
4 - Super Trooper
9 - Starduster

12 - Hooded Cobra Commander


"I would say Duke, but you've convieniently excluded him, so I wont say
anything. Nayh!"
- Diana M

"Hooded Cobra Commander (and you thought I'd say Fridge)"
- Warflight (Somebody beat you to it -ed)

"The Fridge's football-stick"
- Tim Frankovich (That...... doesn't count -ed)

CC : YESSSS ! Another award for the Commandmeister !

HAWK : ...... Huh ?

CC : *Ahem* Nothing.

The "Not if they mailed it for free" award for WORST exclusive mail-in !

1 - Major Altitude v2
2 - Interrogator v2
2 - Supertrooper
2 - Steel Brigade (Name-your-own-Joe)
11 - Create-your-own-Cobra

15 - The Fridge


"Super Trooper, he did have one advantage though, if the light hit him
just right, he could blind his enemies."
- Fastdraw

"Interrogator v2. Take one cool looking figure with a cool looking mold.
Take vast amounts of high quality illegal substanses. Apply neon colors
as you see fit. (Hasbro figure design guidebook, early nineties)"
- Timmer

"Create-A-Cobra. Who would wear pink as their uniform color?"
- John M (It's because of people like you that people with pink
uniforms dye their hair -ed)

"I have a personal vendetta against Super-Trooper"
- Paul Jacoby

HAWK : The top two was very close untill the final stretch of counting !

CC : can't blame them for giving that.....thing 11 votes..... Ugh.

HAWK : Hey, I got some good news ! We're halfway through the toy
category !

CC : Half.....way ???

HAWK : Yes.

CC : I should have brought a sleeping bag......

The "They made it look BETTER !" award for BEST figure repaint ever !

1 - Lamprey v3 (2000 edition)
1 - Python Patrol Viper
1 - Ace v3
1 - Dusty v4 (2000 edition)
1 - Tiger Force Duke
1 - Tiger Force Outback (Euro exclusive)
1 - Tiger Force Flint
1 - Tiger Force Psyche-Out (Euro exclusive)
1 - Shadow Viper (2001 edition) (That's.....borderline -ed)
1 - Stinger Driver (borderline too -ed)
1 - Ninja Viper (Border... ah, you get it -ed)
1 - Sonic Viper
1 - Dialtone v6 (2000 edition)
1 - Tripwire v4 (2001 edition)
1 - Major Bludd v4 (2001 edition)
1 - Alley Viper v4 (1997 edition)
2 - Undertow v2 (2000 edition)
1 - Nightforce Tunnelrat
1 - Nightforce Spearhead
1 - Nightforce Outback
2 - Nightforce Repeater

5 - Nightforce Shockwave

"When I repainted Tiger Force Duke so he had the right color hair"
- Diana M (That doesn't really count though -ed)

"Shockwave v2. What can you say about the ultimate SWAT officer in Night
Force Camo? The buck stops here."
- Dillon Lee

"Dusty"
- Joe Harris (You'll have to be a wee bit more specific -ed)


HAWK : Nightforce was well liked !

CC : I'll say . They took the award by storm !

HAWK : And the new releases got quite a few votes too ! Hasbro
must be doing something right !

CC : Well, considering the new stuff was all REPAINTS. It's not surprising
they did well in this category.

HAWK : Spoilsport.

The "What DID they do to you ?" award for WORST repaint ever !

1 - Alley Viper v3
1 - Windchill v2
1 - Lampreys v2
1 - Tiger Force Bazooka
1 - Tiger Force Lifeline
1 - Tiger Force Tripwire
1 - Deep Six v3
1 - Cobra Commander (1997)
1 - Slice v2
1 - Rock 'n Roll (Super Sonic Fighter)
2 - Road Pig v2 (Super sonic Fighter)
2 - Lowlight v2 (Slaughter's Marauders)
2 - Footloose v2 (Slaughter's Marauders)
2 - Duke (1997)
2 - Interrogator v2

2 - Rapid Fire (Borderline again -ed)

3 - Destro (1997, Pimp Daddy variation)

"1997 Cobra Commander. He's the leader at the "Legion of Suck"."
- Warflight

"Rock 'N Roll (Super Sonic Fighter) and most of the Funskool stuff,
haha holy mozes, looks like their designers are working on acid!"
- Marijn Willems

"Storm Shadow"
- Joe Harris (*sigh* Joe Joe Joe Joe..... -ed)

"Road Pig V2, He looks like a tangerine"
- Sleepersports


HAWK : Pimp Daddy ?

CC : You don't want to know......

The "Facelift succesfull !" award for best figure remold ever !

1 - Ace v2
1 - Lifeline (Battle Corps)
1 - Storm Shadow v2
1 - General Hawk (Hawk v3)
1 - Snake Eyes v4
1 - Zap v2
1 - Duke v4
1 - Recalled Roadblock
1 - Star Brigade Roadblock (v4)
1 - Sci-Fi v2
1 - Mercer v2
2 - Destro v2
2 - Dusty v3
2 - Hawk v2
3 - Stalker v2 (1989)
3 - Rock 'n Roll v2


6 - Snake Eyes v2


"Footloose"
- Tung (???? when did he get a remold? -ed)

"Sure Fire"
- Joe Harris (What part of "remold" don't you guys understand ? -ed)

"Snake Eyes '85. Took the sleek commando-style Snake Eyes,
which was cool enough, and added a little ninja flair,
but kept the commando look. Best of both worlds!"
- General Hawk

HAWK : A previous winner returns !

CC : That figures.....

HAWK : I expect that things will be shaken up at next year's FLAGGS,
because we'll have gotten those new molds of Stalker, Snow Serpent etc.

CC : True, true.

The "Why did they do this to you??" award for WORST figure remold ever !

1 - Scarlett (Ninja Force)
1 - Snake-Eyes (Shadow Ninja)
1 - Cobra Commander (1994)
1 - Firefly v2
1 - Dr. Mindbender v2
1 - General Hawk (1993, Armor Tech)
1 - Duke (Armor Tech)
1 - BAT v2
1 - HEAT Viper v2
1 - Law v3 (Battle Corps)
1 - Rock 'n Roll v5
1 - Cobra Commander v4 (Red faceplate)
1 - Eels v2
2 - Major Bludd v3 (Battle corps)
2 - Destro v3 (1992)
2 - Viper (1994)

2 - Shockwave v2 (DEF)
2 - Snake-Eyes (Ninja Force)
2 - Grunt v3
2 - Flint (Battle Corps , desert trooper)
3 - Zartan v3 (2001 version)

5 - Zartan v2

"Ninja force Scarlett and her big ol hips."
- Diana M

"Battle Corps Major Bludd. Apparently all the time Major Bludd had been
absent from the Joe media, he was traveling the cosmos working for Ming the
Merciless! That outfit is right out of a sci-fi "B" movie."
- Dillon Lee

"(ninja force) Zartan, he looks like an early nineties neon surfer wannabe
punk crossover loser"
- Marijn Willems

HAWK : Ninja Force is not forgotten......

CC : Zartan scores pretty high here. Guessss the original can't be beat !

HAWK : And now.....

CC : We're back to vehicles again, aren't we ?

The "What a can of paint can do !" award for Best vehicle repaint !

1 - Action Force black Wolverine
1 - Night Ray (Moray repaint)
1 - Tiger Fly (Dragonfly repaint)
1 - Tiger Sting (VAMP repaint)
1 - MOBAT (1998)
1 - Crimson HISS
2 - Wave Crusher (2001) (SHARC repaint)
2 - Rattler 4WD (1998) (Stinger Repaint)
2 - A-10 Thunderbolt (1997) (Rattler repaint)
2 - Python Conquest
2 - Sky Patrol Skyhawk
2 - AWE Striker (2001)
3 - Night Boomer
3 - HISS III
3 - Conquest (1998)

5 - Sky Raven (Night Raven repaint)

"Sky Patrol Sky Hawk. The only way Hasbro got me to like this vehicle
was to paint it chrome and give it to their best subset."
- Dillon Lee

HAWK : Hmmm. Weird. That thing always blinds me.

CC : It's big and shiny..... You guys would like it.

The "Ewww.... ugly" award for WORST vehicle repaint ever !

1 - Tiger Rat
1 - Night Force Triple T
1 - Sky SHARC
1 - Cobra Rage tank (1997)
1 - Desert Fox (Dino Hunters)
1 - Street Fighter VAMP
1 - Crimson Cruiser
1 - Beast Blaster
2 - Python Conquest
2 - Eco Striker

2 - Septic Tank (HISS repaint, Kindof -ed)

3 - Sky HAVOC

4 - Locust (2000) (Dragonfly repaint)


CC : Wow. And not a trace of neon on it !

HAWK : I wouldn't call it desert paint, I'd call it flesh paint... Eerie.

The "Made in Belgium" award for BEST FOREIGN EXCLUSIVE FIGURE !

1 - Flyling Scorpion (Brazil)
1 - Silver/Blue Scarlett (South America)
1 - Cobra Satan
1 - Spirit (Europe)
1 - O-Invasor
1 - Tiger Force Tunnelrat (Europe)
1 - Major Bludd (China)
2 - Superhero (India)
2 - Red Laser
2 - Tiger Force Hit 'n Run (Europe)
3 - Quarrel (Europe)
3 - Cobra De-Aco (South America)

7 - Tiger Force Outback (Europe)


"Cobra de Aco (don't hit me) looks like a really cool figure...
I just don't care for people who name themselves after that figure....
something seems unnatural about that..."
- Warflight

HAWK : Europe wins it !

CC : Age before beauty, I suppose......

The "Made in Elbonia" award for WORST foreign exclusive figure ever !

1 - Major Bludd (Brazil)
1 - Action Force Stalker
1 - "The Hawk" (India)
1 - Skydiver (India)
1 - Tiger Force Dusty (Brazil)
1 - Biomassa
1 - Sneak Peak (Brazil, Eco Warrior)
1 - Letal (Brazil)
1 - Dee-Jay (Argentinia)
1 - Captain Gridiron (India)
1 - Colonel Courage (India)
1 - Snake-Eyes (Blue, India)
3 - Superhero (India)

4 - Cobra De Aco


"The yellow and blue brazil bludd. Just plain YUCK!"
- Dan Carber

"Dunno. Damn those secretive forigners. Oh, no, wait.. probably
>Playskool's "The Hawk""
- Diana M

"Letal - Brazil, this guy looks as if he's wearing pyjamas! haha yuk"
- Marijn Willems

CC : Only Destro should have a silver head !

HAWK : It seems so.....

The "Give them their own toyline !" award for BEST SUBTEAM !

1 - Battle Force 2000
1 - Eco Warriors
1 - Star Brigade
1 - The Renegades
2 - Python Patrol
4 - Iron Grenadiers
5 - Sky Patrol
7 - Nightforce
7 - Tiger Force

13 - Dreadnoks


"Tiger Force. The team that brought us a new color of hair for Duke, a
Chinese Falcon, Hit & Run exclusive and the ever popular Blizzard in
YELLOW SNOW."
- John M

"Sky Patrol. Great use of old molds, working parachutes and killer
package art."
- Dillon Lee

"Dreadnocks. They were all original, and creative
(and looked like all my neighbors when I was growing up....
I lived the next town over from the birth place of the "Hell's Angels")"
- Warflight

HAWK : And the Dreadnoks win it !

CC : Hmpf. What they lack in intelligence, they make up in extreme violence.

The "Go form yer own damn team" award for WORST subteam ever !

1 - Armor Tech Star Brigade
1 - Streetfighter II
1 - Mega Marines
1 - DEF
1 - Sky Patrol
1 - Super Sonic Fighters
1 - Python Patrol
3 - Cobra-La
3 - Tiger Force
4 - Slaughter's Marauders
5 - Ninja Force/Shadow Ninjas
5 - BF 2000

6 - Star Brigade
6 - Eco Warriors


"BF2000. They OWNED the meeting hall for the "Legion of Suck"!"
- Warflight

HAWK : One hell of an exciting bout ! Right up to the last ballot !

CC : And still we have no winner ! Judges ?

ZARTAN : Eco Warriors had more neon than Star Brigade.

COL COURAGE : And oversized water guns.

DREDD : Not too mention what they did to the HISS mold....

HAWK : It's unanimous , ECO WARRIORS win the award !

The "Golden Era" award for BEST GIJOE YEAR !

1 - 1983
1 - 1994
2 - 1989
2 - 1987
6 - 1984
8 - 1986

19 - 1985

"It's always a toos up between 1985 and 1986, so this year I'll go with 1985."
- Fastdraw

CC : The year of the Crimson Guard ! The Tele-Viper ! The.....

HAWK : Allright already.

The "Year of Hell" award for WORST GIJOE YEAR EVER !

1 - 1985
1 - 1987
1 - 1992
2 - 1982
2 - 2001
6 - 1997
11 - 1994

12 - 1993


"1994, the end of an erra... Ninja Force, neon colors... it was a mercy
killing"
- EEJ

"1985 (I don't care what anyone says, this thing had more stinker
good guys than all the other years. I prefer Grid-Iron over most of them!)"
- The wildman Josh

CC : The last two years of our original run weren't our glory-years.....

HAWK : Mercy killing indeed.....

The "Customizers, take heed !" award for toy you'd most like to make changes to !

1 - Septic Tank
1 - Cover Girl
1 - Tomahawk
1 - Rattler
1 - Scarlett v1
1 - Zartan v2
1 - Air Commandoes
1 - Manimals
1 - Gung Ho
1 - Paralyzer
1 - Footloose
1 - Blockbuster
1 - Rolling Thunder
1 - Ghost Striker
1 - Tactical Battle Platform
1 - Mauler
1 - GIJoe HQ
1 - USS FLAGG
1 - Effects
1 - Eathquake
2 - Mega Marines
2 - Skystriker
2 - Clutch v3 (Mega Marines)
2 - Cobra Parasite

3 - MOBAT

"Cobra Parasite would be GREAT in a non-yellow paint."
- Dan Carber

"Skystriker, painted in black with a different pilot and more sturdy chutes."
- Fastdraw

"Cover Girl. She needs to see a good psychologist...(get it...headshrinker)."
- John M ( It's because of people like you....and so forth -ed)

"Zartan v2 (same image but with regular O-ring waiste)"
- Serpentor

"The Blockbuster. I HAVE made changes to that one, but if I was Hasbro,
I'd remove the Pom-Pom gun, and replace it with a rather LARGE ICBM
type of missile, and make it an Oktober Guard vehicle."
- Warflight


"Make the Manimals the size of the SW:Rancor monster. The perfect size to
battle the AmorBot"
- KennyD

"Effects. Change this guys mouth. He has some medical problem with
a grin like that"
- Macdowin ( A rictus , a word I learned from GIJoe -ed)

"G.I. Joe Headquarters. Make it a bigger, more involved HQ/Fortress"
- General Hawk

"Tomahawk, larger cargo area, bigger guns on the sides, stronger
blades, just bigger in general."
- Prozac

"footloose, i make a 4 different color heads, so we would get an
asian, black, etc common soldier"
- Tung

"The new 12" they've been scaring me with."
- Diana M


"??? I think Im one of the rare collectors that isnt interested at all
in customizing"
- Earl Shelley ( Oh, YOU'RE the one -ed)


HAWK : Hm. The Mobat. I though that was a pretty cool vehicle just
the way it was.

CC : Maybe some people would actually like to be able to put figures
in it ?

HAWK : Oh..... Right .

The "Playariffic" award for BEST GIMMICK !

1 - Snap-on accesories (Outback Flashlight , Bullhorns rifle etc.)
1 - Chrome vehicles (Sky Patrol)
1 - Water squirt backpacks
1 - Sidekick animals
1 - Battle Wagon motorized gun
1 - High articulation
1 - Camo paint
2 - Battery operated tanks
2 - Red Star missile launcher
2 - Spring loaded missiles
2 - Sonic Fighters
4 - Swivel arms

14 - Color Changing ( Zartan , not Ninja Force or Eco Warriors)


"Color Changing Zartan. The color change quickly made one of the most
memorable Cobras of all time and really helped put GI Joe on the map as a
truly orignal military toy."
- Dillon Lee

CC : Zartan retains the award !

HAWK : We should stress that for the "color changing" a LOT of people
specified it was directed at Zartan and his siblings, NOT at Eco Warriors
or Shadow Ninjas. Just in case Hasbro is watching the show.
Some didn't specify, so we assumed. They should have been more specific.

The "Now with feces-smell battle action" award for WORST gimmick ever !

1 - Neon colors (That's a gimmick ? -ed)
1 - Weapon trees ( ditto -ed)
1 - Armor Tech
1 - Helmet missile launchers
1 - Battle Flash (DEF)
1 - BF 2000 Future Fortress
1 - Combat Pay
2 - Manimals
3 - Shadow Ninja color change
5 - Mega Marines battle armor (play-doh)
8 - Ninja spring-action moves

9 - Spring loaded weapons

"Color Changing of the Shadow Ninja variety. Too many old figures were
lost due to rusted out parts, why would they intentionally make a toy that
requires you to dunk it?"
- John M

"Ninjas as members of a government run anti terrorist group."
- Diana M

"Helmet missile launchers. Yeah, lets shoot a missile at the bad guys
and tear our heads off at the same time. Where do I sign up?"
- Marvlostoys

"Invisibility Ninja Force. "Hey! I know! Let's take a SUCK concept,
with SUCK gimics, and add an even MORE SUCK gimic to it,
so it doesn't even look like a Joe figure any more! We'll start with Snake Eyes,
cause EVERYBODY loves Snake Eyes!""
- Warflight

HAWK : Hope Hasbro is paying attention.

CC : No way. Next year, we'll see Ninja Action Snake-Eyes with head-
mounted spring loaded grenade launcher.

HAWK : Please be joking.....

The "It's like a little brother" award for toyline that works best with GIJoe !

1 - Robotech (Unknown)
1 - WOW Power Girls (Lanard)
1 - Playmobil
1 - Bronze Bombers (Unknown)
1 - XD 1:18 scale (21st Century Toys)
2 - Sailor Moon (Unknown)
2 - Star Wars (Hasbro)
4 - Soldier Force (Chap Mei)

22 - Corps! (Lanard)


"Lanard's WOW Power girls line (screw the Corps...joes need women...)
(I still think my answer of "Firecrackers" from last year was overlooked."
- John M

HAWK : Lanard takes it with a huge landslide !

CC : We'll see what next year brings. With the new sculpts, Chap Mei
stuff might be in with a shot.

HAWK : Always rooting for the underdog , huh ?

CC : Can you blame me ?

The "Snap-on STAY ON" award for BEST ACCESORY EVER !

1 - Falcon Shotgun
1 - Crimson twins grappling hook
1 - Supertrooper rifle
1 - Repeater steady cam gun
1 - Snow Job rifle
1 - Timber
1 - Recalled Roadblock .50 cal with scope
1 - Long bow with scope (???)
1 - Black M-16 with M-203 (came with some Steel Brigade versions)
1 - Hit 'n Run rifle
1 - Manta windsurfer
1 - Frostbite M-16 with scope
1 - Viper v1 rifle
1 - Hardtop pistol
1 - Grunt v1 M-16
1 - Clean Sweep water tank
1 - Jump jet pack
2 - Storm Shadow (v1) backpack
2 - Football Stick
3 - Leatherneck M-16 with M-203

5 - Bullhorn's rifle+case

"1984 Storm Shadow backpack, it held EVERYTHING leaving his hands
free to give you a beat down."
- Fastdraw

"Bulhorns Break down sniper rifle. It has a real James Bond feel to it
and it really really works."
- Dillon Lee

"Recalled Roadblock .50 cal with scope great thing that funskool
makes it available with most figures"
- Dzirhan

HAWK : A fine piece of engineering if I ever saw one !

The "you're lugging THAT around ??" award for WORST accesory ever !

1 - 2000 Cobra Commander missile launcher
1 - Raptor wings
1 - Dee-Jay gun
1 - Gung-Ho (battle corps, 2001) M-60
1 - Ozono v2 missile launcher
1 - Recalled Roadblock spinner
1 - Sneak Peek telescope
1 - Cobra Commander (1991) glider launcher
1 - Cobra Commander v1 gun
1 - Football stick
1 - Duke missile launcher (the one he sits on)
2 - Captain Gridiron football grenades
2 - Firefly (battle corps) green missile flinger
3 - SAW-Viper large gun

6 - Crystal Ball shield


"any of the wind ups"
- Alec Trevelyan

"Saw Viper/Zartan 2001 large ass gun"
- Prozac, Tung (worded it the exact same way -ed)

"firefly v2's big green spinner. what the hell is that thing"
- Mike senger

"Football grenades (or anything else that came with Capt. Grid-Iron...)"
- Tim Frankovich


"Anything neon"
- Timmer, Marijn

"All spring loaded missile launchers"
- Darkhawk, Tommy Dye

"Dee-Jay's gun; what the hell is that?"
- Phillip Donnely

"those who are accessory to Murder. They deserve our scorn"
- Diana M

"Zartan O1's / SAW Viper BFG... can we say "masculine security issues"??"
- EEJ

"WHAT IS that thing that Crystal Ball has? Is it a shield?
Is it some ray device? I think it's the "Sacred Circle of SUCK!"
(thought I'd say "Football-Stick", didn't ya?)"
- Warflight

"Cobra Commander's hair dryer. How can anyone be so sinister that he
steals Scarlet's hair dryer?"
-Joystick

CC : HEY !

HAWK : Well, what does it look like to you ?

CC : Oh, allright.

The "Shakespeare abbreviated" award for BEST FILECARD EVER !

1 - Crimson Guard v1
1 - Psyche-Out v1
1 - Duke v1
1 - Iron Grenadiers
1 - Sci-Fi v1
1 - Snake-Eyes v2
1 - Snake-Eyes v3
1 - Rock 'n Roll v1
1 - Freefall
1 - Clutch v1
1 - Hawk v2
1 - Nemesis Enforcer
1 - Flint v1
1 - Storm Shadow v1
2 - Cobra Commander v1/v2
2 - Major Bludd v1

3 - Zartan v1 (recalled card)


"Nemesis Enforcer. Wacky enough to be cool"
- John M

"Major Bludd (V1) - What Faust doesn't rhyme with Praust?"
- Mike T

"Iron Grenadiers. The filecard really nails them as nasty SOBs you don't
want to run across in any circumstance."
- Dillon Lee

"The original Storm Shadow. My first introduction to Ninja, and Hama
explained it perfectly!"
- General Hawk

CC : The paranoid schizo chamelion freak rakes up the award !

HAWK : He's sitting right there, you know.

CC : So? I didn't write the damn card.

The "small blurb-o-crap" award for WORST filecard ever !

1 - Raptor
1 - Listen 'n Fun Tripwire
1 - Sure Fire
1 - Sgt. Slaughter
1 - Flint (2001 Desert driver)
1 - Ice Cream Soldier
1 - Metal-Head v1
1 - Gung Ho v6 (1997)
1 - Chameleon
1 - Cutter v4 (2001)
1 - Scarlett v2
1 - Lobotomaxx

7 - Crystal Ball


First, from the "pick em yourself" pile :

"Any of the new ones. No true effort put into them."
- Dan Carber

"Anything from 1994"
- General Hawk

"Anything from 1993 on"
- Tim Frankovich

"Listen N' Fun Tripwire (it's tiny and totally useless!)"
- Phillip Donnely ( And they told him size didn't matter -ed)

"I just can't choose.. wait, yes I can. It's Sgt. Slaughter. Just because."
- Diana M

"Desert Stiker Flint. Superman's got nothing on Flint, he takes out
entire platoons like a hefty sack on garbage night. I mean, I like the guy,
but no ones that tough."
- Dillon Lee ( What about Snake-Eyes -ed)

CC : So, general, what do you think the fandom is trying to convey here ?

HAWK : Uhmm.... "Hey, Stephen King, BITE ME!" ?

CC : Well put.

The "Should be in a museum" award for BEST CARD-ART EVER !

1 - Snow Job v1
1 - Tunnelrat v1
1 - Zartan (??? either Ninja Force or Funskool then -ed)
1 - Cobra (1982)
1 - Airtight
1 - Flint v1
1 - Zarana
1 - Snake-Eyes v1
1 - Snake-Eyes v2
1 - Beach Head v1
2 - Storm Shadow v1
2 - Hawk v2
2 - Shockwave v1
3 - Ripcord

4 - Hit 'n Run v1


"Zarana. WOWSA!!! (she looked way hot)"
- The wildman Josh ( Easy there lad -ed)

"Storm Shadow. The pose with the two swords was just TOO cool."
- General Hawk

HAWK : I have nothing to add here.

CC : Sore loser.

HAWK : Hey !

The "My three-year-old did better" award for WORST card-art ever !

1 - Raptor
1 - 98 3-packs (WHAT card art ?-ed)
1 - Star Brigade generic cards
1 - T'gin Zu
1 - Duke 1992
1 - Sneak Peek v1
1 - Rapid Fire
1 - Flint v1
1 - Destro 1992
1 - Colonel Courage
1 - Duke v1
1 - Zartan v2
1 - Ice Cream Soldier
1 - Cobra Commander 1991
2 - Big Boa

3 - Crystal Ball

CC : And the hits just keep on coming !

HAWK : Just two more to go ! And you guessed it.....

CC : Vehicles ?

HAWK : Hm hm.

The "had it framed" award for BEST VEHICLE BOX ART !

1 - Mobile Command Center
1 - Terrordrome
1 - Desert Striker
1 - Sky Raven
1 - HISS III
1 - Cobra Moray
1 - Rolling Thunder
1 - GIJoe HQ 83
1 - Avalanche
1 - Water Moccasin
1 - Defiant
2 - Tactical Battle Platform
5 - Skystriker


6 - USS FLAGG

"the skystriker. I REALLY wanted one..by my mother said it cost too much.
That was just last week, by the way."
- Diana M

"The Cobra Moray. A great assortment of cool characters and very dramatic"
- General Hawk

HAWK : Look who's back !

CC : Yeah, still raking in the awards. Close one though.

HAWK : And now, for our last toy award !

The "had it flamed" award for WORST box-art ever !

1 - Armor Bot
1 - Brawler
1 - USS FLAGG
1 - Blockbuster
1 - Missile Command HQ
1 - Buzz Boar
1 - Cobra Rage (97)
1 - Hammer
1 - SHARC
1 - Cobra Scorpion
1 - Phantom Stealth
1 - Dreadnok Ground Assault

1 - Slugger (97)

3 - Desert Striker


"USS Flagg. It's misleading. (a.) Way out of scale (b.) Does not float.
I don't really care about this issue, but I hear that kind of nit-pick from
alot of collectors. "
- Paul Jacoby


HAWK : Well, that's it.

CC : About freaking time ! I think I have a five-o-clock shadow.

HAWK : So let's hurry through and announce the hosts for the
MERCHANDISE section of the FLAGGS : Scrap Iron and Flint !

The song "Money makes the world go around" plays as Scrap Iron
and Flint come down the stairs.

FLINT : Great to be here, folks !

SCRAP IRON : For the two or three of you who are still awake, here is the
first award in our category !

The "Star Wars has it too!" award for BEST MERCHANDISE EVER !

1 - VAMP toy bin
1 - Tiger electronics handheld games
1 - Underwear
1 - Postcards
1 - Clothing
1 - Bandaids
1 - Tissues
1 - 1987 Defiant lunch box
1 - Toilet Paper
1 - Laser shooting games
1 - Coloring books
1 - Video tapes
1 - Comic book
1 - Wrapping paper
1 - Colorforms
1 - 1987 catalog art lunchbox
1 - Lunchboxes
2 - Trading cards set
2 - T-shirts


4 - Cobra T-shirts


"Joe band-aids. aww, how cute!"
- The Wildman Josh

SCRAP IRON : COBRAAAAA !

FLINT : Settle down already.

SCRAP IRON : Just excited to be part of the FLAGGS !

FLINT : Yeah, for like the smallest category there is.

SCRAP IRON : Last year, I was in charge of keeping the toilets tidy.
I'm happy.

The "Spaceballs -the flamethrower" award for WORST merchandise ever !

1 - Coloring books
1 - Battery-powered toothbrush
1 - Underoos
1 - Sweat bands
1 - Toothpaste
1 - Toilet paper
1 - FHE edited video tapes
1 - Napkins
2 - Lip balm

3 - facial tissues
3 - Soap
3 - Action Stars Cereal

"Coloring books, they just never looked right after I got done with them."
- Fastdraw

"There was bad Joe merchandise related to 3.3/4"?"
- Earl Shelley

"I don't know about where you grew up, but I'd get the crap kicked
out of me if I showed up on the playground with GIJoe Lip Balm. . ."
- Paul Jacoby


"The cereal. What in God's name were they thinking?"
- Bullet

SCRAP IRON : WE HAVE A TIE !

FLINT : Had a lot of coffee did ya ?

SCRAP IRON : Judges ?

ZARTAN : a touch call. The cereal tasted bad, I'm told.

DREDD : But sneezing on a Joe ?

COL. COURAGE : I like soap ! But when it's shaped like a Joe.....

DREDD : What do you mean.....

COL. COURAGE : Well, think of all the parts soap is applied to !

ZARTAN : Ewww..... Fine, soap it is !

SCRAP IRON : A fine desicion ! And now for our next.....

FLINT : And last !

SCRAP IRON : Oh... and last award !

The "I'll market it myself" award for merchandise you'd most want to see !

1 - Cobra emblem hat
1 - Stationary
1 - Condoms
1 - yojoe cola
1 - Shaving cream
1 - T-shirt with original card art...all of them
1 - more underoos
1 - more trading cards
1 - Wedding planning supplies
1 - clothing and patches
1 - Tampon dispenser
1 - Tattoo designs
1 - Scarlett blow-up doll
1 - Vinyl kits
1 - Cheese
1 - Football sticks
2 - Toilet paper
3 - Video game

5 - DVDs


"Why oh why did they never do YoJoe cola?"
- Diana M

"Destros Beryllium Condoms. "When youre not sure if your partner is your love,
or a spy sent to kill you""
- Dan Carber (and it gets worse after this -ed)

"Cheese ! GIJoe cheese ! "
- Warflight

"Scarlett Blow-up doll? (oh wait, this is a family show, isn't it?
She's for the kids to play with then. No? Well, maybe you're right.)"
- Jaegan (told ya -ed)

FLINT : What kind of freaks ARE our fans anyway ?

SCRAP IRON : I.....I'm shocked......

FLINT : Let's get out of here !

Flint and Scrap Iron hastely exit before a tune can be heard. Cobra
Commander and Hawk come back on stage.

CC : Well, folks, now we've done all physical aspects.

HAWK : Yes. You can take a figure or comic book in your hands, so
let's get metaphysical now !

CC : What my stuck in the last century co-host is trying to say, is that it
is now time for the awards that are CHARACTER based. And to present
the awards in this category, here are two characters in their own right.....

AUDIENCE : *groan*

CC : Ahem.... Duke and Destro !

The "Got to get tough -yojoe" theme plays as Duke and Destro come
down the stairs.

DUKE : Hi there, folks, always a pleasure to be here !

DESTRO : Yes. On such a prestigious night, we can set aside our
differences. Plus, me getting along with you really ticks off the Commander.

DUKE : what do you say we hand out the first award ? It's a big one !

The "Coolness personified" award for FAVORITE CHARACTER !

1 - Kwinn
1 - Hawk
1 - Serpentor
1 - Low-Light
1 - Tunnelrat
1 - Shipwreck
1 - Beach Head
1 - Sci-Fi
1 - Shockwave
1 - Firefly
1 - Cobra Commander
2 - Storm Shadow
2 - Clutch
3 - Duke
4 - Flint
6 - Snake-Eyes


7 - Zartan


"Zartan! Although Zanya looks pretty good...
following in Daddy's footsteps... 1... 2... 3...
AWWW!!!!"
- Bullet and Linx


DESTRO : There.....must be some mistake. where are my votes ?

DUKE : No idea . Maybe you should drop the pimp look ?

DESTRO : I recent the implication that my costumes are anything less
than regal.

DUKE : Maybe you'll get some votes now !

DESTRO : Ye... HEY !

The "Wheelie -part who knows" award for WORST CHARACTER EVER !

1 - Road Pig
1 - Lt. Falcon
1 - Major Bludd
1 - Bazooka
1 - Cesspool
1 - Shipwreck
1 - Roadblock
1 - Night Creeper Leader
1 - Golobulus
1 - Serpentor
1 - Big Boa
1 - Cool Breeze
1 - Raptor
2 - Sgt. Slaughter
2 - Metalhead
3 - Big Lob
3 - The Fridge

7 - Crystal Ball


"That guy with the thing. You know. The gimmiky thing. Fridge."
- Diana M

DUKE : Ah, look who's back.

DESTRO : As Warflight would say, the "king of suck" .

DUKE : But let's take those results, and dissect them further.

The "Goody twoshoes" award for best good guys character ever !

1 - Lifeline
1 - Storm Shadow
1 - Psyche-Out
1 - Stalker
1 - Sci-Fi
2 - Shockwave
2 - Scarlett
2 - Beach Head
2 - Clutch
3 - Shipwreck
3 - Hawk
4 - Flint
4 - Duke

6 - Snake-Eyes


"Psyche Out because I study psychology myself... haha I have to be
able to identify myself, don't I?"
- Marijn Willems

DUKE : And Captain Indestructable wins another award.

DESTRO : Just wait till the next FLAGGS, cause that new toy sculpt of
him is gonna be great !

DUKE : Don't remind me.....

The "He's on OUR side ?" award for WORST good guys character !

1 - Sgt. Slaughter
1 - Psyche-Out
1 - Lt. Falcon
1 - Deep Six
1 - Captain Gridiron
1 - Flint
1 - Long Arm
1 - Big Brawler
1 - Bazooka
1 - Snake-Eyes
1 - Shipwreck
1 - Roadblock
1 - Dee-Jay
1 - Tripwire
1 - Chuckles
2 - The Fridge
2 - Sneak Peek
4 - Big Lob

6 - Duke


"Duke (for inconsistensies)"
- Alec Trevelyan 006

"Duke! silly Hawk wannabe!"
- Bullet

DESTRO : *slaps Duke on the back* Hey, look at that !

DUKE : Hmpf....

DESTRO : You even beat out Big Lob !

DUKE : Hmpfgrrrr......

DESTRO : I mean, BIG LOB ! And the Fridge !

FRIDGE (from balcony) : DAMN RIGHT ! YOU SHOULD BE UP HERE !

DUKE : Can...... can we move on please ?

The "Bad, bad, Cobra frown" award for BEST BAD GUYS CHARACTER !

1 - Serpentor
1 - Scrap Iron
1 - Firefly
1 - Darklon
2 - Storm Shadow
2 - Major Bludd
7 - Zartan
8 - Cobra Commander

10 - Destro


"Zartan. He changed color. that takes talent. or Toxic poisoning. Or
somehing."
- Diana M

"I really enjoyed the character development of Destro....
from bad guy, to good guy.... an "evil" dude that had lines he wouldn't cross,
which lead to strife between him, and Cobra Commander, who tried to
kill him SEVERAL times, but he wouldn't betray him due to his oath
to him..... even though every fiber of him hated the guy."
- Warflight ( longest ballot I got was from him for obvious reasons -ed)


DESTRO : BWHAHAHAHAHAAAA ! See that, Duke ? Looks like we
both won an award here !

DUKE : Hmpf.... Well, it was a very close race. Counting the votes for
this one was a thrill. It was literally, one guy voted for CC, the next
for you, all the way through. Then, towards the end, Zartan came
way out of left field, and we thought he might be in with a shot.... but
you prevailed !

DESTRO : What a night !

The "BAD ? Yeah, stinking bad" award for WORST bad guys character !

1 - Scrap Iron
1 - Dr. Mindbender
1 - Slice
1 - Voltar
1 - Vapor
1 - Headman
1 - Croc Master
1 - Big Boa
1 - Manimals
1 - Golobulus
2 - Road Pig
2 - Major Bludd
2 - Serpentor
2 - Metalhead
4 - Raptor

9 - Crystal Ball


"Road Pig. He needs to be exterminated."
- Dan Carber

"Serpentor and his Kleenex like pop up snakes. he pulls one off his
shoulder, and another one pops up!"
- Diana M

"Voltar. He had all the personality of a wet dish rag."
- Dillon Lee

"Raptor - can you tell I really hate this guy? He's an accountant!!!"
- Marvlostoys

"NINJAS ALL OF THEM, DIE, DIE"
- Sleepersports

DUKE : Well, that was redundant.....

DESTRO : Making fun of Crystal Ball is NEVER redundant....

The "I'll be there for you" award for character you'd most like to be friends with.

1 - Beach Head
1 - Airtight
1 - Cover Girl
1 - Chuckles
1 - Torch
1 - Serpentor
1 - Dialtone
1 - Duke
1 - Stalker
1 - Lowlight
1 - Flint
1 - Hawk
1 - Jinx
1 - Lady Jaye
1 - Footloose
1 - Firefly
1 - Sci-Fi
1 - Shockwave
1 - Billy
2 - Destro
2 - Shipwreck (cartoon)
2 - Snake-Eyes

4 - Clutch

"Cover Girl. Shes gotta have some hot single model friends."
- Dan Carber (There's no such thing, I've checked -ed)

"Snake Eyes, he never talked so I would have to worry about him
interupting"
- Fastdraw

"Barbecue...he's a party animal!!"
- General Hawk


"Depends upon what you mean by "Friends"."
- Diana M (You know, sitting in a coffeehouse, eventually start sleeping
with eachother.... -ed)


"I hate everybody"
- Mike T

"Cartoon Shipwreck. Can you imagine the trouble he'd get you into?"
- Dillon Lee (Depends if you're a girl or not -ed)

"Friends?? With gun toting maniacs and guys that dress up like snakes?
I'd like to think I have better taste in friends then that."
- Marvlostoys

DUKE : Gun toting ?

DESTRO : I don't dress up as a snake !

DUKE : No, like a pimp, that's worse....

DUKE : Anyway.... Now we come to the *ahem* next award.....

DESTRO : And the only reason I think why Timmer bothers to do this show.....

DUKE : *sigh* Let's just delve right in, shall we ?

The "Oh, THAT" award for character you'd most like to be lovers (!) with !

1 - Mara
1 - Serpentor
1 - Flint
1 - Jinx
2 - Zartan
4 - Lady Jaye
4 - Cover Girl
6 - Scarlett

7 - Baroness


"Mara! Something about a woman with gills that really does it for me.."
- Dan Carber (O.....kay -ed)

"That's just a sick and disturbing question, and I am appalled you would
even ask that....but Scarlett was kinda hot."
- Fastdraw (So I'll put you down as a definete maybe then ? -ed)

"Cover Girl (Methinks we're giving this WAY too much though, Timmster!)"
- Joe Tages

"Zartan! He can be everything your heart desires...
and SO MUCH MORE!!!"
- Bullet and Linx


"Jinx as rendered by Brock Hors artwork"
- Dzirhan (Picky, isn't he ? -ed)

"Scarlett, hands down. and up, and sideways, and *smack*
Hey what was that for?"
- Jaegan

DUKE : To the lady sitting next to Jaegan, thank you.



"SERPENTOR"
- Serpentor

DUKE : So he wants to make love to himself ?

DESTRO : Why change the habit of a lifetime ?

And from the "no way, no how" pile :

" >:-0 "
- Mike T

" I know size doesn't matter, but aren't they all a little small to make
that work? Even the 12" ones."
- Diana M (Resisting a joke here required almost superhuman strength -ed)

"What the? They're plastic toys! Suspension of disbelief only goes so far."
- Marvlostoys

"I refuse to answer on account that I'm married."
- Warflight

"Hey! This is a family show!"
- Paul Jacoby

"I'm not THAT into it. :)"
- Corey Stinson

"WTF? Your kidding right? RIGHT?"
- Sleepersports (You decide -ed)

DESTRO : Ah. Excellent winner.

DUKE : Yes. By a nosehair though !

DESTRO : My girlfriend is hotter than your girlfriend !

The "Trading Places" award for character you'd most want to be !

1 - Sneak Peek
1 - Beachhead
1 - Outback
1 - Serpentor
1 - Clutch
1 - Scarlett (toon)
1 - Fastdraw
1 - Tunnelrat
1 - Mainframe
1 - Recoil
1 - Lady Jaye
1 - Psyche-Out
1 - Firefly
1 - Flint
1 - Duke
1 - Cobra Commander
1 - Snake-Eyes
1 - Chuckles
1 - Sci-Fi
1 - Schockwave
1 - Lt. Falcon
2 - Scarlett (comic)
2 - Ace
2 - Zartan
2 - Hawk

4 - Destro


"Chuckles (no, not Snake-Eyes - he goes through too much pain!)"
- Tim Frankovich


"Snake Eyes, cause he whoops some ass! But then again,
hes mute and disfigured. Oh well, wouldnt be too much of a
change for me."
- Dan Carber

"Fastdraw"
- Fastdraw (figures -ed)

"I'm happy with who I am."
- Mike T

"well, I'd like to be Scarlett if I didn't have to do all that ninja crap.
Cartoon Scarlett."
- Diana M

"Want to be? For the love of...."
- Marvlostoys

"Zartan... can you IMAGINE what a person could do with that disguise
holography?"
- Warflight

"Duke. He gets ALL the ladies..."
- General Hawk

"Scarlett, cuz she gets Snake Eyes luv."
- Bullet (and Lynx, I guess -ed)

DESTRO : And I take home another award !

DUKE : Yes. Great. I'm beginning to feel set up......

DESTRO : Now here's a fun award !

The "extreme violence" award for character you'd most like to use a
football stick, 2x4 or brainwave scanner on !

1 - Road Pig
1 - Trasher
1 - Big Boa
1 - Metalhead
1 - Shipwreck
1 - Manimals
1 - Roadblock
1 - Falcon (movie)
1 - Cobra Commander
1 - T'gin-Zu
1 - Zarana

2 - Serpentor
2 - Major Bludd
2 - Lifeline
2 - Snake-Eyes
3 - The Fridge
3 - Raptor
3 - Sci-Fi

4 - Crystal Ball

"David Lane"
- Alec Trevelyan 006 (That doesn't really count..... -ed)

"Does Steel Brigade count since it would just be a transferance of anger
toward the lame ass group headed by Mr. Lane?"
- Fastdraw ( I'm sensing a lot of love in this room tonight -ed)

"Still have to say Warflight.... but since he is ineligible for this
award, I'd have to say Raptor. Dude needs some therapy"
- John M

"Snake-Eyes. I'd love to see his ass handed to him"
- Dillon Lee

"Pick-a-Ninja"
- Sleepersports

DESTRO : Very well. Fridge ?

The Fridge pick up his football stick, and gives Crystal Ball another
whack with it.

DUKE : Well done.

The "Guess who ?" award for most overused/overrated character !

1 - Sgt. Slaughter
1 - Ripcord
1 - Breaker
1 - Cobra Commander
1 - Destro
1 - Serpentor
1 - Crystal Ball
1 - Big Brawler
2 - Flint
6 - Duke

20 - Snake-Eyes


"Boy, who could that be? Go ahead to the DD site and count all the twits
who name themselves something to do with silent overrated charbroiled
ninjas to get a clue."
- Diana M

"Big Brawler (what's next on his FC, uber-assasin for the KGB?!?)"
- Alec Trevelyan 006

"Crystal Ball, because any use at ALL is over-use... :)"
- Tim Frankovich

DUKE : I think we all saw that coming.

DESTRO : Half of all the people voted for him. That's nice. You came in a
distant second.

The "He was a character?" award for most underused/underrated character.

1 - Tracker
1 - Shortfuse
1 - Major Bludd
1 - Serpentor
1 - Recoil
1 - Scrap Iron
1 - Freefall
1 - Spirit
1 - Rock 'n Roll
1 - Scoop
1 - Raptor
1 - Sparks
1 - Snake-Eyes (???? -ed)
1 - Dodger
1 - Chuckles
1 - Stalker
1 - Sci-fi
1 - Supertrooper
2 - Grand Slam
2 - Zandar
2 - Beachhead
3 - Firefly
3 - Tollbooth
3 - Covergirl

4 - Hit 'n Run


"Raptor doesn't deserve half the grief he gets. He's the most
unnoticed & potentially dangerous Cobra."
- Paul Jacoby (Yeah, in bizarro-world -ed)

"Pantsma...errr Tracker"
- Timmer

"Sparks (there's one you won't hear often.)"
- Jaegan

DUKE : Hit 'n Run, Hit 'n Run.... Oh yeah. Good kid.

DESTRO : What's his specialty ?

DUKE : Uhm....... Running really fast.

DESTRO : Oh.....

The "Rumble in the Jungle" award for best fight ever !

1 - Flint vs platoon of Eels
1 - Duke vs the giant (toon, MASS Device)
1 - Storm Shadow vs Cross Country (toon)
1 - Falcon vs Golobulus (Movie)
1 - Joe vs Cobra (MASS device ending)
1 - Snake-Eyes vs Cobra Consulate (comic)
2 - Cobra Commander vs Snake-Eyes (comic issue 150)
2 - Zandar/Road Pig vs Scarlett/Snake-Eyes (image comic 2)
2 - Sgt. Slaughter vs Nemesis Enforcer (Movie)
2 - Cobra vs Cobra vs GIJoe vs Destro (Cobra Island civil war)
2 - Ace vs Wild Weasel (comic issue 34)
3 - Storm Shadow vs Snake-Eyes (comic)
3 - Storm Shadow vs Spirit (toon)

5 - Lady Jaye vs Zarana (Cobra Island civil war)


"The one that happened in my basement every weekend."
- Fastdraw

"Flint vs. A pack of Eels. Flint at his best IMO, even thought he got
the snot knocked out of him."
- Dillon Lee

"G.I.Joe vs Cobra at the end of the first Sunbow miniseries ("The MASS
Device") because the animators created some great fight scenes"
- David Thorton

"Lady Jaye vs Zarana ("I especially like the way Zarana was polishing
Lady Jaye's boots with her face""
- GIJane

"storm shadow beating the crap out of cross country in "into your tent I
will silently creep" until the hokey ending"
- Mike Senger

"Don Jo.... errr... I mean Falcon vs. Golobulus in the Movie. (A close
second place vote would be the chick fight after the Cobra Civil War.)"
- Joystick

DUKE : CHICK FIGHT !

DESTRO : Calm down . Now we come to the titanic tussle. This award
should really be renamed "who should Scarlett sleep with".

DUKE : Wha... ?

The "Joanie loves Chachi" award for best couple ever !

1 - Shipwreck and Mara
1 - Shipwreck and Polly (ewww -ed)
1 - Torpedo and Leatherneck (??? -ed)
2 - Zarana and Mainframe
3 - Duke and Scarlett
6 - Flint and Lady Jaye
10 - Destro and The Baroness

12 - Scarlett and Snake-Eyes


"I like Duke and Scarlett, but I usually have to duck around here after
saying that."
- Diana M

"Destro and Baroness. Honor and Intellect. Muscle and Guile. Money and
Sophistication. These two have the world on a string."
- Dillon Lee

"Mmmm... none really impressed me much. It's a war concept. Not the
'Nam meets Love Cruise. Although that'd be a kick ass show!"
- Marvlostoys

"Dialtone/Zarana"
- Mike Senger (I'm gonna assume you meant Mainframe -ed)

DESTRO : The mob has spoken ! You lose AGAIN Duke !

DUKE : Dammit... this is all just a setup for 'ol Duke, isn't it ?

DESTRO : Actually, the hosts are chosen before the ballots are
counted, well, except for the fan category. But what a lucky coincidence !

DUKE : *grumble*

The "Bruce Willis vs The Death Star" award for fight you'd most want to see !

1 - Flint vs Beachhead
1 - Budo vs Vypra
1 - Baroness vs Scarlett
1 - Double Blast vs Roadblock v1
1 - Stalker vs Iron Grenadiers
1 - Torpedo vs Leatherneck
1 - The Fridge vs Road Pig
1 - Lady Jaye vs Scarlett
1 - Zartan vs Serpentor
1 - Sgt. Slaughter vs Big Boa
1 - Zartan vs Duke
1 - Cobra-La vs Fatal Fluffies
1 - Flint vs Destro
1 - Cobra Commander vs Destro
1 - Destro vs Zartan
1 - Wetsuit vs Leatherneck
1 - Raptor vs Crystal Ball
1 - Covergirl vs LJ vs Scarlett vs Baroness
1 - Supertrooper vs Overlord
2 - Zartan vs Snake-Eyes
2 - Zartan vs Hawk

3 - Duke vs Snake-Eyes

"Cover Girl, Lady Jaye, Scarlett, and the Baroness. Toppless, G-strings, and
tapioca pudding. Oh wait, was that out loud?"
- Dan Carber

"Raptor vs. Crystal Ball, steel cage match to the death....at least we
>would get rid of one of them."
- Fastdraw

"The conclusion of the Cobra Commander and boys against Snake Eyes
from the final issues of the first comic run."
- John M (Not sure how to put that up, so I've put it here -ed)

"Stalker Vs. Iron Grenadiers. If these guys areas Bad as they say, I'd
like to see Stalker face off against a squad of them."
- Dillon Lee

"Sci-Fi Vs KennyD, Sci-Fi would burn a hole right through his head"
- Sleepersports

"Lifeline vs. anyone --Ha!"
- GIJane

"Cobra-La vs Fatal Fluffies. (though Care Bears vs Spuds MacKinsey
could be cool)"
- Warflight


"Wet Suit -vs.- Leatherneck. Settle it already"
- Earl Shelley

"Baroness scarlett mudd wrestling!!!"
- Phillip Powers

"Josh Blaylock v.s Larry Hama. I think Josh could take him.
He's younger and looks more hungry"
- Diana M

"Lynx: Zartan taking Hawk apart bit by bit... and
feeding him to the alligators
Bullet: Umm... yeah. Bitter?"
- The terrible two

DESTRO : Excellent. LET COMBAT BEGIN !

DUKE : Huh ?

Snake-Eyes leaps from his seat and lunges at a very confused looking
Duke. Snake-Eyes lands a flying kick right to the chest, that causes
Duke to be thrusted 12 feet to the back.

DUKE : OK, ASS KICKING TIME !

Duke gets back up, and tries to land a few punches on his opponent, but
Snake-Eyes dodges them easely. He then takes Duke's hand, and does
that ninja-thingy that makes you howl out in pain to it.

Just then, Duke delivers a swift knee right between Snake-Eyes' legs.
Snake-Eyes drops to the ground, holding his groin.

DUKE : Fight over. Guess you're not invincible all over, huh ?

DESTRO : That was a cheap trick.....

DUKE : Hey, whatever works.

Snake-Eyes crawls off stage, back to his seat.

The "Ross and Rachel" award for couple you'd most wanna see get together !

1 - Serpentor and Dr. Biggles-Jones
1 - The Fridge and Road Pig
1 - Sci-Fi and Lifeline
1 - Duke and Scarlett (new versions)
1 - Tunnelrat and Jinx
1 - Outback and Covergirl
1 - Covergirl and Frostbite
1 - Mainframe and Zarana
1 - Flint and Lady Jaye
1 - Dusty and Paige Adams
1 - Hawk and Covergirl
1 - Jinx and Clutch
1 - Covergirl and Rock 'n Roll
1 - Lady Jaye and Scarlett
2 - Serpentor and Pythona
2 - Covergirl and Shipwreck

4 - Covergirl and Clutch


"Ummmwould it be wrong to say Lady Jaye and Scarlett??"
- Dan Carber (I dunno, ask them -ed)

"Fridge and Roadpig."
- Fastdraw (You need help -ed)

"Sci-Fi/Lifeline"
- KennyD ( For the love of... -ed)

"Sheesh... come on now..."
- Marvlostoys (Not loving this category, are ya ? -ed)


"Cover Girl and me (hey! I have my Steel Brigade character!)"
- Phillip Donnely ( How very , very sad -ed)

"Dusty & Paige Adams (the new blonde chick)"
- GIJane


"the new duke and the New "Scully" like Scarlett."
- Diana M

"Cover Girl and Clutch. She wanted him and you all know it."
- Dillon Lee

DUKE : I really hope those two kids hit it off.....

DESTRO : Well, they ARE both mecanics.....

The "Oval Office" award for character who should be president of the USA !

1 - Roadblock
1 - Scrap Iron
1 - Serpentor
1 - Firefly
1 - Stalker
1 - Psyche-Out
1 - Shockwave
1 - Dr. Mindbender
1 - Duke
1 - Falcon
1 - Destro
2 - Zartan
3 - Cobra Commander

14 - General Hawk


"Roadblock. He could visit the flag burnersPERSONALLY."
- Dan Carber

"Hawk. The most qualified in that "Jack Ryan" sort of way"
- Dillon Lee

"President?? Holy...."
- Marvlostoys

"Mindbender for President! *shakes head* *looks around* Hey Baldy,
watch where you point that brainwave scanner!"
- Jaegan

DUKE : Once again, the good general gets the nomination !

DESTRO : Hm Hm.

ANNOUNCER : Ladies and gentlemen, the FLAGGS committee is
proud to announce this award will be retired, unless it's an election year !

DESTRO : Jay.

The "Give him a toy, dammit" award for best non-toy character ever !

1 - Mara
1 - Wade Collins
1 - General Flagg (elder)
1 - Cadet Demming (female Crimson Guard cadet, toon)
1 - Weaponsmith
1 - Door Viper (???-ed)
1 - Medi-Viper
1 - Dr. Venom
1 - Zanya
2 - Pythona
2 - Cool Breeze
2 - Hector Ramirez
3 - Billy
4 - Big Lob
4 - Sparks

7 - Kwinn

"Plastic Surgery Action Wade. Turn him into Fred! Get him a new family!
Make him turn into a total sap!"
- Diana M

"That Hector guy from the cartoon complete with stage set and microphone"
- Marvlostoys

DESTRO : Ah. The honorable eskimo takes another award home !

DUKE : Yeah. But why the hell did Big Lob get so many votes ?

DESTRO : Impressive amounts of drugs ?

The "Glad he never got a toy" award for WORST non-toy character !

1 - Hector Ramirez
1 - Amber (Quick Kick's girlfriend, toon)
1 - Fred VII
1 - Dr. Venom
1 - Cool Breeze
1 - Pythona
1 - White Clown
1 - Billy
1 - Dr. Biggles-Jones
3 - Candy Apple

8 - Big Lob


"That crazy old Scientist in the cartoon who always invented all of Cobra's
stuff..."
- General Hawk (There were quite a few -ed)

DUKE : Now that's more like it !

DESTRO : And now, let us begin ogling the girls !

The "Miss GIJoe 2002" award for BEST FEMALE CHARACTER !

1 - Mara
1 - Pythona
1 - Zarana
1 - Vypra
2 - Jinx
3 - Zanya
3 - Covergirl
6 - Lady Jaye
9 - Baroness

10 - Scarlett


"Mara. Its those gills, Ill tell ya. Theyre wicked sexy ;)"
- Dan Carber ( Get help dude.... -ed)

"Cover Girl. Tank, missiles, and manicure"
- John M

"Jinx/Vypra, cause, unless your staring at her chest, you can't
really tell she's a girl"
- Sleepersports

DUKE : Scarlett wins ! Scarlett wins !

DESTRO : And it was quite nailbiting ! Only one vote in it !

DUKE : That's what makes it interesting !

The "Miss Take" award for WORST female character !

1 - Chun-Li
1 - Scarlett
1 - Zanya
1 - Candy Apple
1 - The toilet lady (???????? -ed)
1 - Vypra
1 - Chameleon
2 - Volga
2 - Lady Jaye
3 - Jinx
4 - Covergirl
5 - Zarana

6 - Pythona



"Jinx. Why does an asian character HAVE to be into martial arts? To have
her be a pilot or an infantry person would have been cool."
- Diana M

DESTRO : And the freakshow wins it.

DUKE : Rightly so. Also was a VERY close call though.

The "Biker dude from hell" award for BEST DREADNOK EVER !

1 - Ripper
1 - Gnawgahyde
1 - Zanzibar
1 - Zarana
2 - Zandar
3 - Road Pig
7 - Torch

15 - Buzzer

Honorable mention : Zartan, 7 votes.


"Roadpig. The only one developed in the comic with an actual
psychological disorder."
- John M


"Hmmmtie between Buzzer, Ripper & Torch."
- Dan Carber

"Buzzer. My boyfriend looks sort of like Buzzer.. But he's smarter."
- Diana M (The boyfriend or Buzzer ? Cause Buzzer was pretty smart
in the comic and on his filecard -ed)

"Buzzer. The "smart" one, well as smart as a Dreadnok gets."
- Dillon Lee (See ? -ed)

DESTRO : The smart one ?

DUKE : Going by filecard, sure.

DESTRO : Hmpf. Going by filecard, Bazooka knows how to think.

The "Biker mouse from Mars" award for WORST dreadnock ever !

1 - Torch
1 - Buzzer
2 - Zarana
2 - Monkeywrench
3 - Trasher
7 - Road Pig
8 - Gnawgahyde

12 - Zanzibar


"There were no bad dreadnoks."
- John M

"The dude that got nailed by Snake Eyes in the new comic."
- Paul Jacoby

"Gnawgahyde... thats a chew toy, not a Dreadnok."
- Bullet

"Buzzer, I would like to knock his goofy ass teeth out"
- Sleepersports

DUKE : The pirate takes it !

DESTRO : He was a bit much, even for a dreadnok.

DUKE : Dude, he's the Crystal Ball of dreadnoks !

The "I"m naming my firstborn after him !" award for best codename ever !

1 - Skidmark
1 - Salvo
1 - Ripcord
1 - Annihilator
1 - Duke
1 - Serpentor
1 - Destro
1 - Roadblock
1 - Falcon
1 - Snow Job
1 - Big Ben
1 - Law and Order
1 - Tripwire
1 - Hawk
1 - Overkill
2 - Lifeline
2 - Viper
2 - Shipwreck
2 - Hit 'n Run
2 - Shockwave
3 - Snake-Eyes

4 - Storm Shadow


"Skidmark, just say it out loud and you can't help but laugh."
- Fastdraw

"Wild Bill. One of the few names that sounds more like a real nickname
and not a play on the character's specialty."
- Diana M

"Snake Eyes. Has NOTHING to do with what he does."
- Warflight

DUKE : It does sound powerful, doesn't it ?

DESTRO : Maybe, but not as powerful as "Destro". Say it with me :
"Destro !"

The "Name of my secondborn" award for best good guys codename !

1 - Stalker
1 - Big Ben
1 - Barbeque
1 - Salvo
1 - Cold Front
1 - Roadblock
1 - Tunnelrat
1 - Wild Bill
1 - Law and Order
1 - Tripwire
1 - Starduster
1 - Falcon
1 - Clutch
1 - Sci-Fi
1 - Supertrooper
1 - Shipwreck
2 - Hit 'n Run
2 - Hawk
2 - Lifeline
2 - Recondo
3 - Shockwave

4 - Snake-Eyes


"Stalker, sounds like a felony."
- Fastdraw (Not in 1982 it didn't -ed)

DUKE : He's gonna need some kind of humvee to take all those awards
home with him....

DESTRO : I'd say it's time to break out the Mobile Command Centre.

The "Just sounds badass!" award for best bad guys codename ever !

1 - Nemesis Enforcer
1 - Iron Grenadier
1 - Xamot
1 - Interrogator
1 - Zandar
1 - Carcass
1 - Fred
1 - Ripper
1 - Storm Shadow
1 - Vapor
2 - Buzzer
2 - Crimson Guard
2 - Firefly
3 - Viper
3 - Serpentor
3 - Zartan
3 - Scrap Iron

6 - Destro


"CLAWs"
- EEJ (Dissallowed , not released in time permitted -ed)

"Zartan (rearranged from the name Tarzan; it is also quite interesting
that there is a parallel between Tarzan's reputation as Lord of the Jungle
and Zartan's desire to be the Lord of the Swamps, which he strongly states
to Col. Sharpe in "The Revenge of Cobra")
- David Thorton (essay writer and Zartan connaisseur -ed)

DESTRO : See ? I told you.

DUKE : *lets out long sigh* Just three awards left.....

The "Hugh Jazz" award for WORST codename ever !

1 - Vypra
1 - White-Out
1 - Raptor
1 - Tgin-Zu
1 - Big Boa
1 - Fred
1 - The Fridge
3 - Rip-It
3 - Crystal Ball
4 - Big Lob
4 - Skidmark

11 - Ice Cream Soldier


"Skid Mark. Didnt his mother ever teach him to wear clean underwear
in case he got in an accident??? Apparently not."
- Dan Carber

"Ice cream Soldier.. I hear he has a Christmas Special coming up."
- Diana M

"Ice Cream Soldier. Yes, I know it has some kind of meaning,
but as a codename, it stinks."
- General Hawk

"Big Lob. it sounds like something that happens when
you can't get a booger out and have to spit..."
- Bullet (Thanks for that mental image -ed)

DUKE : Ewww.

DESTRO : Last year's winner retains the award !

The "picked on in boot camp" award for worst good guys codename !

1 - Snow Storm
1 - Doc
1 - Crazylegs
1 - Maverick
1 - Double Blast
1 - Colonel Courage
1 - Budo
1 - Zap
1 - Deejay
1 - Chuckles
1 - Cool Breeze
1 - Rapid Fire
1 - Big Lob
2 - Supertrooper
2 - Big Brawler
5 - Ice Cream Soldier

6 - Skidmark


"Doc (too original)"
- Prozac

"Super Trooper. I bet this guy had one hell of an Ego."
- Dillon Lee (he did, until the Joes started singing ABBA around him -ed)

"*laughing too hard to answer*"
- Bullet and Lynx

"Cool Breeze (wouldn't Bullet-Sponge have been better?)"
- Alec Tevelyan 006

DUKE : And in an upset, Skidmark wins the award !

DESTRO : Well.... We know how it is. In Cobra, we have this guy,
"Rip-It" and let me tell ya....

DUKE : Please don't.

The "scary snake....uhm guy ? Dude?" award for worst bad guys codename !

1 - Vypra
1 - Darklon
1 - Big Boa
1 - Raptor
1 - Headman
1 - Cobra (trooper - the enemy)
1 - Cobra Commander
1 - Fred
1 - Tgin-Zu
1 - Toxo-Zombie
2 - WORMS
2 - Voltar
2 - Fast Blast Viper
3 - Golobulus
4 - Crystal Ball

5 - Rip-It

"Rip it. Perhaps hes bitter because Skid Mark was taken?"
- Dan Carber

"Rip-it, just say that one out loud too, and you can't help but laugh."
- Fastdraw

"Like I said.. Ice Cream Soldier.. we traded him"
- EEJ (See ? EEJ KNOWS ICS is A GOOD GUY ! HE'S A JOE !
I can't believe how many people voted for him here. -ed)


"Darklon. From Darklonia. Is it dark there?"
- Diana M

"Cobra Commander. What da hell kinda code name is that!?!
He needed a good "James Bond" bad guy code name....
like "The Serpent Master" or some code name that made him
sound like a cult leader or something...."
- Warflight

DUKE : And I thought Skidmark was bad....

DESTRO : Yes. That's why we don't let people pick there own
codenames anymore.

DUKE : Well, that's all for the characters section, people ! Hope
you enjoyed it, and we'll see ya next year !

DESTRO : And thanks for all the votes you've given me !

Duke and Destro walk of, to the tune of the movie end credits. Hawk and
Cobra Commander come back on.

CC : Our second bananas did a good job, didn't they ?

HAWK : Yes. Poor Duke though.

CC : Oh well, sucks to be him.

HAWK : Time for the next category, the section simply titled "general"

CC : And, in a huge plot twist, the FLAGGS creators have decided to
forgo the obvious joke of having two generals present this section, so
here are your hosts : The Baroness and Lady Jaye !

The Baroness and Lady Jaye come down the stairs to the music of
"girls just wanna have fun".

LJ : Good evening folks ! Well, a short category for us !

BARONESS : Yes dahlings, just six awards ! And let's delve in
straight away with the first award !

The "CNN should cover this" award for BEST NEWS OF THE YEAR !

1 - GIJoe on the shelves
1 - GIJoe HQ rerelease
1 - Comic reprint
2 - Image comic goes monthly
2 - O-rings set to dissappear
5 - O-rings coming back (yuppers -ed)
9 - New comic coming !

11 - New Joes coming !/Joe relaunch in 2002


"The original O ring figures were ending (I need to stop spending money)"
- John M (They're coming ba-ack ! -ed)

"NO MORE O-RINGS"
- Serpentor (this litlle piece of baboon spit, who I'm sure isn't the Pit's regular
Serpy, answered "Serpentor" to nearly all questions where it was the
least bit applicable. Or stupidity like this. Next year, such ballots will be
cheerfully ignored and made fun of in the FLAGGS -ed)

"Hasbro seems to have removed the pictures of the new 12 inch figs from
the page. Perhaps they are going back and making them less stupid looking."
- Diana M

"The news that I can't talk about."
- Corey Stinson ( O-ring returning you mean ? hehe That's what I get when
I take 3 months to finish the FLAGGS -ed)

LJ : New Joes, brand new sculpts !

BARONESS : Well, the O-ring returning would have won I think, but
that news came pretty late in the year. A lot of people had already
mailed of their ballots !

LJ : True. Can't be helped I suppose.

The "They cancelled Star Trek!" award for WORST news of the year !

1 - Ninjas in the new comic
1 - Lifeline returns in the new comic
1 - Cancellation of Snowcat and Grizzly
1 - Wave 5 postponed
2 - Comic only being bi-monthly (not anymore -ed)

30 - Articulation change in 2002 (no O-ring)


"Devil's Due's promise to stay away from ninja saturation doesn't seem
alltogether true."
- Diana M

"All the news of the year sucked. It was filled with controvesy and
petty fighting. It would have been better to just be surprised. One of
the reasons why I hate the internet."
- Marvlostoys

BARONESS : No surprise there.

LJ : Yeah. Biggest landslide of this year ! But the o-rings are
coming back !

BARONESS : And the collectors rejoiced !

The "Duke is Destro's SON !" award for biggest surprise of the year !

1 - Rereleased HQ wasn't the 1983 one
1 - The desert striker was actually kinda cool
1 - Pics of 2002 figures rock
1 - Comic going monthly
1 - Snake-Eyes and Scarlett split up in the new comic
1 - Covert Missions mailing list
1 - Joe HQ rerelease
1 - Convention Special comic
1 - New sculpts look pretty good
1 - How nice some of the repaints turned out
2 - Zartan has a daughter
2 - Warthog rerelease
5 - O-rings will return

13 - Newly sculped figures in 2002/relaunch/o-rings gone


"the absolute lack of 3 and 3/4 presentation at this year's convention.
That was odd."
- Diana M


"Reservist really *can* go to war!"
- Dan Carber ( called up after Sept. 11th -ed)

LJ : *salutes*

BARONESS : Another winner that wasn't a surprise.

JJ : If only we knew then what we know now.....

The "Cobra-La" award for most bizarre Joe-related change ever !

1 - Destro falls for Zarana (Operation Dragonfire)
1 - Stretcher becomes caucasian (This was before he became Sideswipe -ed)
1 - Storm shadow becoming a good guy
1 - Sgt. Savage size change
1 - The increased coverage
1 - Snake-Eyes and Scarlett split up (image comic)
1 - Character choice for the new 12" line
1 - SNAKE-EYES : featuring GIJoe
1 - Devil's Due convention special
1 - 12" Duke looks like Max Steele
1 - Paintwipes
2 - Zartan's daughter
2 - GIJoe becoming more popular after Sept. 11th
6 - From military to Science Fiction (Star Brigade, Mega Marines,Manimals etc.)

10 - O-rings gone/articulation change in 2002


"from America's freedom force to Soldiers in Space!"
- The Wildman Josh (To put it one way -ed)

"Without a doubt, the transition into that Star Brigade/Alien crap circa
1994."
- Corey Stinson ( Or to put it another way -ed)


"Bigger shoulder joints with Hasbro saying it's "better sculpting"."
- Joe Harris

LJ : And the 2002 Joes gripe-fest goes on.

BARONESS : Like I said, things can change in a few months.

The "I'll pick that one over The %$+/ Fridge any day" award for character
you'd most like to see in the Joe universe !

1 - Lara Croft
1 - Scorpius (Farscape baddy)
1 - Hannibal Lecter
1 - Kinsey Milhone (Sue Grafton Alphabet line of mysteries)
1 - Terminator
1 - Aliens (from Sigourney Weaver films)
1 - Gandalf (Lord of the Rings)
1 - Harm (JAG tv series)
1 - Harry Stamper (Armageddon movie)
1 - Megatron
1 - Nick Fury
1 - Arnold from "Commando"
1 - Dark Angel
1 - The easter bunny ( For the love of.....-ed)
1 - MacGyver
2 - John Clark (Rainbow Six and others)
2 - Snake (Metal Gear Solid)
2 - The Punisher
2 - James Bond

5 - Jack Ryan

"Do we really need anymore?"
- Fastdraw (Yes ! And it should be a wrestler ! Who can cook ! -ed)

"um....Op Prime is in the joe universe....(at least from the Marvel point
of view). Otherwise, I think that the Farscape cast would be cool.
Especially Scorpius as a new joe villian."
- John M

BARONESS : Wonder if they mean Baldwin or Ford ?


LJ : I think they might mean the character in the book....

The "GIJoe/???" award for crossover you'd most want to see !

1 - Farscape
1 - The Matrix
1 - Aliens
1 - Cartoon/comic crossover (Hellooo image comic -ed)
1 - DEF/ Law and Order (The TV show, not the Joe members)
1 - Robotech
1 - Lord of the Rings
1 - Mojo Jojo
1 - Rainbow Six
1 - Powerpuff Girls
1 - Red Star
1 - Buffy The Vampire Slayer
1 - Metal Gear Solid
1 - Star Trek : New Frontier (Peter David books)
2 - SHIELD
3 - X-men
3 - Punisher

5 - Transformers

"Would Warflight in drag be considered a crossover, or cross-dressing?"
- Dan Carber (Thanks man, like I really needed THAT mental image -ed)

"gi joe robotech, imagine ace in a valkyie"
- Tung

"Joes vs Transformers......the Rematch:)"
- Troy X (What is it with you guys and big robots -ed)

"Crossovers suck"
- GIJane

"Mojo Jojo/Cobra team up, but all in the PowerPuff Girls style of animation..."
- Warflight (?????? -ed)

BARONESS : Waitaminute... Didn't this win worst comic book too
or something ?

LJ : Yes... Asking for trouble if you ask me.... Anyway, that's all from us,
as this category is OVER ! See ya next year, Joeheads !

BARONESS : Don't forget, drinks and snacks are still available in the lobby !

Lady Jaye and the Baroness leave the stage, to the tune of "Karma Chameleon"
much to the Baroness' chagrin.... Cobra Commander and Hawk come
back onstage.

HAWK : And now, ladies and gentlemen, it's down to bring on the big guns !

CC : Yesss. Now we come to the category that everybody dreads.....

HAWK : Everybody ?

CC : Well, almost everybody.....

HAWK : Really ?

CC : OK, SOME people dread this next category, where we try to answer
all the tough questions !

HAWK : And the hosts for this category are.....

CC : No hosts ! Every award gets its own presenter !

HAWK : That seems.... long-winded....

CC : I want to stand RIGHT HERE, next to you, when we find out the
winner of the FIRST award in this category.

ANNOUNCER : In the "neverending questions" category, presenting
the award for FAVORITE FACTION , are Hawk and Cobra Commander !

HAWK : The nominees are : GIJoe , Cobra, Iron Grenadiers, Oktober Guard,
Dreadnocks and Headhunters !

CC : And the winner is..... GIJoe ! WHAT ?????

Full voting results :

1 - Headhunters
1 - Oktober Guard
4 - Dreadnoks
6 - Iron Grenadiers
12 - Cobra

13 - GIJoe

Honorable mention : All equal , 5 votes


"Cobra: The Enemy. Yeah, I love Joe, but man Cobra had all the COOL
stuff..."
- General Hawk (Your nickname never seemed MORE innappropriate -ed)

"Joe. Guess I'm a traditionalist. Although I wish I was James McCullen Destro
form time to time."
- Jaegan (Well WHO DOESN'T ?? -ed)

"Dreadnoks... or Ice breakers... but do they count?"
- Bullet and Lynx (Not as such, no -ed)

HAWK : And it came down to the VERY LAST BALLOT !

CC : LIES ! ALL LIES !

HAWK : We almost had another tie, like last year !

CC : IT IS A CONSPIRACY !

Hawk gently leads a sobbing Cobra Commander off-stage....

ANNOUNCER : And here to present the award for LEAST favorite faction,
SNAKE-EYES !

Snake-eyes walks on stage, opens a very large envelope, takes out the
paper, and points to a name : OKTOBER GUARD

Full voting results :

1 - Iron Grenadiers
1 - GIJoe
3 - Dreadnoks
7 - Headhunters

8 - Oktober Guard

(dis) honorable mention : Cobra-La, Eco Warriors, Ninjas etc.

(Editor's note : There's a difference between a FACTION and a SUBTEAM.
Factions can work with, but also fight against, eachother. In other words,
the Oktober Guard could team up with GIJoe, but could also fight against
them. Eco-warriors and their ilk are PART OF GIJoe, and never fight
against them )

Snake-Eyes leaves the stage.

ANNOUNCER : Next up is the award for favorite medium ! And here to
give out the award is AIRBORNE !

AIRBORNE : Yeah, yeah, "medium" and I'm psychic, very funny..... The
nominees are comic, cartoon, toys or all equal. And the winner is..... TOYS !


Full voting results :

5 - Cartoon
6 - All equal
14 - Comic

16 - Toys

"Toys, kinda like Legos, you can follow the instructions (toon, comic),
and then just go off on your own."
- Fastdraw

AIRBORNE : Well, it seems fair. Where would we be without the toys ?


ANNOUNCER : And now, to present the "best way of collecting" award , here
is STARDUSTER !

Starduster, using his jetpack, flies onstage.

STARDUSTER : Hey people, great to be here ! I get to present this award
cause I'm one of those guys who's figure you could never get mint on card !
And the award goes to.... OPENED !

Full voting results :

4 - MIB

31 - Opened

(Editor's note : There were quite a few "both" answers, didn't count, and
a lot of people said "opened, excepts X and Y" , or "mostly opened".
Those counted as "opened".)

ANNOUNCER : Now, we come to the award for..... well, not "award" really,
just an answer to a question. Do you like paintwipes ? At to give the
result, here's TUNNELRAT !

TUNNELRAT : Well, if anybody would look more realistic with paintwipes,
it's me anyway..... The winner is... You like them !

Full voting results :


6 - Against them
9 - Indifferent

18 - Like them


Honorable mention : Depends on the figure/how it's done 8 votes

"They're growing on me. Kinda like a mold, or a fungus."
- Jaegan (Can I get a decrypter to tell me how he voted -ed)

ANNOUNCER : And, for the final question, though I think it's an open and
shut case, what's your opinion of the 2002 mold changes ? (pre-o-ring
return -ed) And to give the answer, here's Gung-Ho !

GUNG-HO : OK, let's get this over with..... Most people are against them.
What a shock. Course, this was before most people found out about the
new new sculpts, and before anybody had even held a new sculpted
figure in their hand. So the point is moot.

ANNOUNCER : Thank you, captain cynisme.....

Cobra Commander and Hawk re-enter the stage.

CC : And now, we come to the final category before the free-for-all.

HAWK : And we've saved the best for last !

CC : Indeed ! The FANDOM category !

HAWK : Here, we celebrate the fandom itself, without wich, well, none
of us would be here. This one's for you !

CC : Indeed. And to present the awards in this most important category,
are the winners of the "Oh THAT" award and the "I'll be there for you" award :
The BARONESS and CLUTCH !

The pair come down the stairs in formal wear, to the music of "we are the
champions" by Queen.

CLUTCH : Thanks you all for bringing me here, folks ! All....four of you.

BARONESS : You shouldn't complain. I feel like so.....dirty.....

CLUTCH : Hey, it's all in the packaging. Maybe if you didn't wear so much.....

BARONESS : So much what ?

CLUTCH : Huh ? Oh, nothing, just daydreaming.....

BARONESS : For the first time in FLAGGS history, we may have a host
that doesn't live through the night.....

CLUTCH : Hey, lets get on with it ! Folks are on the edge of their seats
for the awards !

BARONESS : You are right. Let's remember that yojoe.com is dissallowed
for the first award, as they got a lifetime achievement award AND the award
is now named after them !

The "Yojoe!" award for BEST GIJOE WEBSITE !

1 - GIJoepit.com (http://www.gijoepit.com )
1 - The action figures checklist (http://www.actionfigurechecklist.com )
1 - gijoe.com (http://www.gijoe.com )
1 - Zartan's Domain (http://burn.at/zd )
1 - Icebreaker's Hq (http://www.angelfire.com/comics/icebreakers )
1 - Timmerrah (http://timmerrah.tripod.com )
2 - Evilface's fourth circle of hell (http://www.evilface.com )
2 - smalljoes.com (http://www.smalljoes.com )
2 - Resurrection etc. pages ( http://www.timscorner.com )
2 - Cobraaa.com (http://www.cobraaa.com )
3 - Quick Kick's theatre ( http://qktheatre.com/program.htm )
3 - Mike T's forgotten figures ( http://www.ugolino.com )
3 - General Hawk's site (http://www.angelfire.com/80s/coolgijoestuff/index.html )
5 - Airtight's Hostile Environment (http://www.airtight.ca )

7 - The Bivouac (http://www.thebivouac.com )



"Would it be unethical to vote for my own? Hmmprobably. Ill have to go with
Evilface, but Im biased towards customs."
- Dan Carber

"cant answer. Yojoe.com is the only Joe site I visit."
- Earl Shelley

"The Bivouac. Hasn't been updated in a WHILE, but there are a great bunch
of fans that participate in the message boards."
- General Hawk

"OURS! www.angelfire.com/comics/icebreakers or Timmer's RAH..."
- Bullet and Lynx ( I'll give one vote to each, since there's the two of you,
and it puts me up there hehehe -ed)

"Zartan's Domain. HAd to vote for it since my good friend runs it. (do
I get paid now Rod ?)
- Macdowin

CLUTCH : The customizer's haven wins !

BARONESS : Congratulations !

CLUTCH : And to think, it doesn't even have nudity....much.

The "He'd tie your shoes if you needed it" award for most helpfull fan of the year !

1 - Bill Leach
1 - Jase Traber
1 - Livevil320
1 - Kris Gray
1 - Sleepersports
1 - Thomas Wheeler
1 - Ben A
1 - Julius Cooper (Weasel)
1 - Joe Harris
1 - General Hawk
1 - Tung (Tunnelrat)
1 - Joe Tages
1 - Joystick
1 - Eugene Son
2 - Dillon Lee
4 - John Missal
5 - Robert Culpepper

6 - Corey Stinson

"Can't just pick one."
- Fastdraw

"Dillon Lee, don't ask me why, he just seemed nice to me..."
- Phillip Donnely

"Corey and Rod both made the convention way more fun for me....without
them, I think I would have felt sort of lonely."
- Diana M ( first answer counts, sorry Rock - ed )

"Tough to choose! Overall, I'd have to say a Bivvie poster named Ben A.
He helped me out a LOT by building me a kick-ass set for my upcoming
diostory"
- General Hawk

"I would be as bold to say he has been the most helpful fan to me since
I joined the Joe online world. Thanks for everything you done for me
Joystick !
- Macdowin

CLUTCH : The "smalljoes" dude.

BARONESS : Guess his convention coverage is not forgotten !

CLUTCH : Nice guy all round.

The "Bond, James Bond" award for BEST screenname/nickname !

1 - Joystick
1 - Experiencingcalifornication
1 - Winterhalt
1 - Airtight
1 - Firefox
1 - Tunnel Rat717
1 - Eagleeyejoe
1 - Fiend
1 - Pantsman (No, I didn't vote for it -ed)
1 - CobraFreakinCommander
1 - Straight-Edge
1 - Bullet and Lynx
1 - Angryjohnny
1 - Warflight The Wrong
2 - Cabanajack
2 - Timmer

6 - Warflight


"Camper!! No wait, it works on so many levels!! Ok, okthe ethics thing.
Ill go with Warflight, because it is very creative."
- Dan "Camper" Carber

"Joystick...it sounds so...dirty"
- Timmer

"I prefer to go by real names, but "Timmer" ain't bad. :)"
- Corey Stinson

"Tunnel Rat717"
- Tung "Tunnelrat" (heh -ed)

"Why, Timmer of course! (the check's in the mail, right?)"
- Warflight

""gothiczartan" hehehe! I just thought it was funny, although a vote for
him would encourage him, so I guess scratch that!"
- Joe Harris

"Still Warflight"
- Tim Frankovich (Yeah yeah -ed)

BARONESS : The winner for two years running !

CLUTCH : What the hell is a "Warflight" anyway ?

BARONESS : Planeride with foodfights ?

The "The best part is at the end" award for best signature line !

1 - "General Bullet: leader of the Ice Breakers,
Zartan's Co-conspirator, and the biggest headache hawk ever had!" - Bullet
1 - Yo Joe Forever - MacDowin

1 - " "Would you people please try to remember that I am EVIL !?"
- Spike" - Timmer
1 - If you're in my path, you better look dead" - Evilface
1 - "The course of this conflict is not known, yet its outcome is certain.
Freedom and fear, justice and cruelty, have always been at war, and
we know that God is not neutral between them - president George W
Bush" - Tim Frankovich
1 - "Even if they smeared me with clue musk and stuck me in a field of
horny clues during clue mating season, I *still* couldn't get a clue". - Warflight
1 - "As I looked upon the stair, I saw a man who wasn't there, he wasn't there
again today, oh how I wish he'd go away - Cobra Commander


2 - "BETTER BEER" - Bullet


"Timmer (I think you know what your sig is...)"
- Phillip Donnely ( Probably -ed)

"Anything from Warflight"
- Tung

"Probably some Warflight quote"
- Marijn Willems

"Yo Joe Forever ! Of course I had to vote for me. What were you thinking
you silly boy"
- Macdowin

CLUTCH : Ah beer..... It eases the pain....

BARONESS : You WANT this show to turn into an intervention ?

CLUTCH : I'll be good....

The "War and Peace" award for best fanfic (written only) of the year !

1 - GIJoe - The Return - Phillip Donnely
1 - The ties that bind - Bard
1 - Freethrow remembers - Joe Harris
1 - Road Trip - Talon
2 - The Pantsman Chronicles - Timmer

3 - Price of Peace - General Hawk

"G.I. Joe: The Return (sure, it's mine, but I need to give it at least ONE vote)"
- Phillip Donnely

"Freethrow remembers (http://g-i-joe.50megs.com/beostory.html) It's one I
did. I just like it. Plus I don't read much of any fanfic on the web."
- Joe Harris (Egotrippers, the lot of you -ed)

CLUTCH : Congratulations to general hawk !

BARONESS : Yes ! Even though it started in 2000, I think it finished in 2001.

The "Lord of the rings" award for best fanfic ever !

1 - GIJoe - The Return - Phillip Donnely (voted for himself AGAIN -ed)
1 - The ties that bind - Bard
1 - The Night We Got The Pit Hosed - Lynx
1 - Onslaught - JM Metalhead
1 - The Pantsman Chronicles - Timmer

6 - The Price of Peace - General Hawk


"The Price of Peace (yeah I'm voting for myself...cheesy, I know!)"
- General Hawk

CLUTCH : Didn't need to, a clear victory !

BARONESS : Yeah, well, it was some gripping stuff !

The "Spielberg, part one" award for best dio-story of the year !

2 - GI Joe Warfare II - Destro (I think -ed)
9 - Power Struggle - General Hawk

12 - Resurrection - Tim Frankovich

"Resurrection. Tim still has the market cornered in excellence with his
dio-stories!"
- General Hawk (Very gracious -ed)

CLUTCH : Well, it certainly was a "power struggle" between Justin and
Tim.... But Tim won it !

BARONESS : *groan*.....

The "Spielberg, part two" award for best dio-story ever !

1 - Dawson Jay diostory (for sale promotional dios)
4 - Resurrection - Tim Frankovich
5 - Power Struggle - General Hawk

13 - Iconoclasts - Tim Frankovich


"Pantsman"
- Joe Harris ( Uhm.... that's not a dio story, but thanks ! -ed)

BARONESS : And once again, Timelf wins the battle of the diomasters !

CLUTCH : Let's not forget that ALL dio stories mentioned are great !

The "insert famous painter here" award for best fan artist !

1 - Vypra
1 - Viper (Karsten Krahe)
1 - Leann
7 - Joe Harris

10 - Brock Hor/ Lee jr. (I(m assuming they are the same guy -ed)

"All the artists at Cobraaa.com are extremely talented, and all
do incredible work."
- Dan Carber


"Brock.. but he draws too many ninjas, and always has someone's knee in
Duke's back, or a sword accross his head. It must be subconscious."
- Diana M


BARONESS : All fine artists, but one clear winner !

CLUTCH : I prefer the guy who does the nude drawings.....

BARONESS : You would.....

The "Make him, Hasbro !" award for best selfmade fanfic/dio character !

1 - Warfare - Destro
1 - Tundra Viper Elite - ????
1 - Tactic Viper - Tim Frankovich
1 - Bullet
1 - Lynx
1 - Professor Hardcastle - Tim Frankovich
3 - Pantsman - Timmer

4 - Rev - Tim Frankovich

"Pantsman (WHAT ???? I'm proud of him, dammit)"
- Timmer

"Bullet and Lynx... by us of course! (no egotism here, huh?)"
- Bullet and Lynx (One vote each -ed)

CLUTCH : And Frankovich takes another award home with him !

BARONESS : Pantsman didn't win ? Huh. Timmer's gonna demand
a recount.....

The "Release THIS" award for best custom figure of the year !

1 - Serpentor - Derek R. Anderson
1 - Eagleeyejoe - Robert Culpepper
1 - Warhorse - livevil320
1 - NYC Fire Fighter - Judster
1 - Warflight - Unknown
1 - Tundra Viper Elite - Joe Harris (I think -ed)
1 - Shipwreck - General Hawk
1 - Roadblock - Evilface
1 - Bludd-Viper - Vicman
2 - Grayscale - Dillon Lee

5 - Zanya - Phil Powers

"just check Evilface's stuff, I love it all..."
- Marijn Willems

"Zanya by Big Daddy Phil. she's so.... CUTE!"
- Bullet and Lynx

BARONESS : And the little brat wins it.

CLUTCH : Powers ?

BARONESS : No, Zanya.

CLUTCH : Ah.

the "for the ages" award for best custom figure EVER !

1 - Serpentor - Derek R. Anderson
1 - Purge Viper - Evilface
1 - Dania - Thomas Wheeler
1 - Medi-Viper - Evilface
1 - Football Stick Viper - Unknown

2 - Zanya - Phil Powers


"Oh man! That guy that did the non-poseable customs that were "over-
the-top" detailed. He did Firefly by the fence, you know who I'm
talking about! We all freaked that day they were so good. Who was
that masked customizer???"
- Paul Jacoby

CLUTCH : Wow. Zanya made quite an impression !

BARONESS : Yes.... She's jailbait, you know.

CLUTCH : Oh....

The "Work of titans" award for best custom vehicle/project of the year !

1 - Action Force - General Hawk
1 - Vamp redo - Firefox
1 - Artic HISS - Firefox
1 - Black Ops helicopter - Vicman
2 - Liberty:2198 customs project - The Bivouac

5 - Huge Cobra battleship - Stuntmatty


"OkIm EXTREMELY biased here, but Im going to have to vote for the
Liberty:2198 project over at the Bivouac. Its just massive, and there are some
incredibly talented customs there. Plus its the largest fan-made custom
project that I know of. [Wonder if anyone will notice the plug]"
- Dan Carber

"Any of Livevil's vehicles."
- Marvlostoys

"The Cobra Battleship? Or was that last year? Decky Hedrock should
get notice for his custom HQ, tho' I dunno if that counts."
- Paul Jacoby

BARONESS : Now THAT was huge. I wish we had it in our fleet.

CLUTCH : Would make those little subs of yours look like goldfish,
wouldn't it ?

The "Now THAT'S a labor of love !" award for best custom vehicle/project ever !


1 - Red HISS - Vicman

8 - Huge Cobra Battleship - Stuntmatty


"Stuntmatty's Battleship. Wherever you are, Matty, this thing has
immortalized ya!"
- General Hawk

CLUTCH : Holy cow ! That's almost undisputed !

BARONESS : Well, it was huge, and unprecedented ! A true work of
art ! Puts the Flagg to shame even !

The "Botcon" award for best fan project of the year ! (anything somebody
has started up for the enjoyment of the fandom)

1 - Filecard re-write challenges - Covert Missions
1 - Liberty : 2198 - The Bivouac
1 - Dioramas - Marijn Willems
1 - Hardtop gun castings - Dillon Lee and Raven
1 - Custom Action Force filecards - Patrick (notpicard) Stewart
1 - Secret Santa - Covert Missions
1 - Icebreakers internet comic
2 - Cobraaa.com - Various
3 - The FLAGGS - Timmer

6 - Project 95 - John Missal


"The everpopular and continuing Project 95 proto castings....(hey, I
gotta get a vote some how)"
- John M (You'd be quite surprised -ed)

"the new comic. It is for fandom, and it makes me happy"
- Diana M/Marvlostoys ( Nice try, doesn't count -ed)

"The Cobra: The Enemy Comic Book. (again, voting for myself...sorry.)"
- General Hawk ( I put that under "cobraaa.com" -ed)

"my dioramas haha(can I vote for myself?)"
- Marijn Willems ( Everybody else seems to be doing so -ed)

"The Ice Breaker's Internet Comic"
- Bullet and Lynx ( See ? -ed)

CLUTCH : Make body parts for people and be loved !

BARONESS : They DO look nice. And add to the customizers fun !

CLUTCH : John is paying us for this, right ?

The "I saved it on my computer" award for favorite thread/discussion of the year !

1 - Are Slim Jims really a food ?
1 - San Diego Comic Con
1 - Favorite cartoon quotes
1 - hidden meaning in vehicle labels
1 - 2001 comic by Image
1 - The coolness of the 2001 Joes
1 - "What's your Joeverse like ?"

4 - Speculation on upcoming figures


""What's your Joeverse like?" Any thread that gave me a deeper look into
fan's personal Joeverse is a real treat for me."
- Dillon Lee

CLUTCH : All in all, people still liked talking about the new stuff.

BARONESS : Even though there was a lot of controversy to wade through !

The "Not THIS again" award for LEAST favorite thread/discussion of the year !

1 - No, Slim Jims are NOT a food
1 - San Diego Comic Con
1 - Personal issues/infighting
1 - Covert Missions uncovered
1 - No ads
1 - Negativity towards Eugene Son's opinions on yojoe.com
1 - Capitalisme
1 - "Who would you cast in a live action movie ?"

10 - New figure sculpts (O-ring, and lack thereof etc.)


"O-Rings...arrghh"
- KennyD

"the endless o-ring debate"
- Prozack

"err could say,...most of the off topic stuff."
- Joe Harris


""so and so is so wrong about everything he said and I'm going to argue it
point by point because I haven't got a life" thread. there were a lot of those."
- Diana M

"2002 Gripe-fest. I don't think they are perfect either, but I only need
to hear that someone hates the 2002 design ONCE."
- Dillon Lee

"Abusive, meanspirited attacks on Eugene Son's personality because he
posted his opinion on his website. As if he isn't ALLOWED to have an opinion.
That one event in 2001 has really soured me on the internet fandom as a
whole...thank goodness there are still a TON of good Joes out there to keep
it interesting!!"
- General Hawk

CLUTCH : Yeah, people REALLY liked talking about the new stuff....

BARONESS : To "O" or not to "O" that is the question.....

The "Shut up shut up SHUT UP!" award for thread that wouldn't die !

1 - Why doesn't everyone like Slim Jims??? (Dan Carbers weird world -ed)
1 - San Diego Comic Con
1 - Comic vs Toon
1 - Joe trivia
1 - what's your age ?
1 - Strawberry Shortcake
1 - Paintwipes
1 - Covert Missions
4 - Who would you cast in a live-action movie ?

11 - The whole O-ring extravaganza (new molds)


"Thomas Wheeler's paint-wipe thread, oh wait, that wast last year? How
about Thomas Wheeler's o-ring thread."
- Corey Stinson

CLUTCH : All this talk about a tiny rubber band.....

BARONESS : Only in this fandom.....

The "DA HELL, part one ?" award for weirdest/silliest thread of the year !

1 - New Joes comic out
1 - Chrissy
1 - New Coke as compared to the 2002 Joes
1 - Are there women on here?
1 - Dodger's mailing list
1 - Captain DC
2 - Covert Missions
2 - Strawberry Shortcake
2 - Gothiczartan

3 - GIJoe Porn

"Chrissy's appearance on the PIT"
- Fastdraw

"Anything I responded to in the last few months...."
- Warflight

BARONESS : I.....don't want to know.

CLUTCH : Come on, you usually dress in all-leather.... You've seen stuff.

BARONESS : I..... shut up.

The "DA HELL , part two" award for weirdest Joe-related thing seen online.

1 - Gothiczartan
1 - The new 12" figures
1 - Multi-ethnic Gung-Ho vs. Destro
1 - GIJoe thong underwear
1 - Captain DC
1 - Covert Missions
1 - GIJoe toilet paper on ebay
1 - Simpsons figures customized into Joe characters
2 - Scifimustdie.com
2 - GIJoe Lego

4 - GIJoe porn


"Weasel dug up some Joe porno a while backI thought that was the oddest
thing Ive seen. Thoughstrangely appealing."
- Dan Carber

"A pair of G.I. Joe thong underwear at Hot Topic ... I'm hoping it was
for a woman...."
- EEJ

CLUTCH : And porn takes it two years in a row !

BARONESS : I'd say I was surprised, but 98 percent of the internet
cosists of porn, so....

The "Flamewar central" award for most controversial thread/issue this year !

1 - Everyone should eat Slim Jims, or else
1 - San Diego Comic Con
1 - Tootsie Troll thread
1 - Should we fantasize about Joe in the recent terrorist attacks?
1 - Paintwipes
5 - Covert Missions

14 - The 2002 remolds o-ring debate


BARONESS : No surprises there....

CLUTCH : Well, the o-ring is coming back, so things should calm down.

BARONESS : As if the fans won't find something else to fight about....

The "He said WHAT?" award for best quote !

1 - "Hey, whatever you do in your spare time is your business! Just
don't be chuckling any butts around me !" - KennyD
1 - "Operation Dragonfire is my favorite episode" - Unknown
1 - "Get over it" - Unknown
1 - "Yahoo hates us" - Various
1 - "If you sell new stuff on eBay, you're a scalper" - Unknown
1 - "O-Ring: MIA" - Unknown
1 - "CHECK YOUR HEAD" - Unknown
1 - "Olewell?" - Captain DC
1 - "There is no such thing as Covert Missions" - EEJ
1 - "Is that a Brazilian figure ?" - Sleepersports (Quoting himself -ed)
1 - "I could reach up and touch the sky" - Josh O
1 - "Do you know GIJoe ?" - GZ

2 - "How do I unsubscribe from the list" - Various


"Prozac's Quote" "With something like that, you just gotta sit back and
chuckle a but."
my reply--"Hey,what ever you do in your spare time is your business! Just
don't be chuckling any butts around me! :)"
- KennyD

""Yahoo hates us" - mentioned numerous times during chats..."
- EEJ

"Well, Josh O's "I could reach up and touch the sky" comment about wave 5
wasn't bad! :) I think it best puts into words that great feeling everyone
has about new G.I. Joe figures."
- Corey Stinson

CLUTCH : "Remove"

BARONESS : "Unsubscribe"

The "Monthy Python" award for funniest fan of the year !

1 - Phillip Powers (Big Daddy Phil)
2 - Cabanajack
2 - Sleepersports
3 - KennyD

5 - Warflight


"KennyD (His abuse of the 1986 Sci-Fi figure)"
- Joe Tages

"KennyD- For his Scifi bashing"
- Dzirhan

"Seen a lot of people TRYING to be funny and failing miserably! (myself
included...) :)"
- General Hawk

CLUTCH : Hey, look who's back !

BARONESS : The man with the football stick..... Ugh.....

The "Rookie of the year" award for best newcomer in the fandom this year !

1 - Cabanajack
1 - TV Fiend
1 - If you talk to Mary
1 - Darren (Cobra-Satan)
2 - Sleepersports

4 - Dillon Lee

"do I count? I've been on the newsgroup since '98, but I only joined the
Pit in January..."
- Phillip Donnely ( I don't think so.... -ed)

"Those Brits make everything comfortable don't they?"
- Paul Jacoby ( I need a decoder ring, I think -ed)


"Dillon came from nowhere to be a prominant member of two huge
Joe lists (and co-moderating one of them). He does
customs and posts on a very regular basis. A great assett to the Joe
community."
- General Hawk

"Dillon, because I truly believe he will cry like a girl when accepting this award :),
and it would look funny if I only got one vote."
- Sleepersports

CLUTCH : Well ?

BARONESS : Crying like a girl yet, Dil-boy ?

The "Let's make a deal" award for best trader of the year !

1 - Thomas Wheeler
1 - Julius Cooper
1 - Mike T
1 - Daniel Johnson
1 - Joystick
1 - Timmer
2 - Jase Traber
3 - John Missal

4 - Bill Leach


"Bill Leach. The most giving Joe Fan I've EVER MET!"
- Dillon 'Rookie of the Year" Lee

"Jase Traber (got me my only Eco Toxo Viper!)"
- The wildman Josh

CLUTCH : Congratulations Bill !

BARONESS : Good things DO happen to good people !

CLUTCH : And now, the FINAL AWARD of the FLAGGS !

BARONESS : Indeed ! And it's a big one !

CLUTCH : So here we go !

the "JOEFAN" award for RAH FAN COMMUNITY MEMBER OF THE YEAR !

1 - Dillon Lee
1 - Tung Nguyen
1 - Marijn Willems
1 - Julius Cooper
1 - Joe Harris
1 - Joe Tages
1 - Cabanajack
1 - John Missal
2 - Jase Traber
2 - Dave Kudira
2 - Eugene Son
2 - Timmer
4 - EEJ


5 - Corey Stinson


"Tung Nguyen :D "
- Tung (Cute, very cute -ed)

"I nominate myself (boosts my ego)"
- Marijn Willems (Marijn, meet Tung -ed)

"- Timmer, for organizing the Flaggs again"
- Dzirhan (Awww shucks.... -ed)

CLUTCH : There we go !

BARONESS : The Smalljoes.com master !

CLUTCH : Congratulations, buddy !

BARONESS : And we have a special surprise this year !

CLUTCH : Indeed ! The winner of the JOEFAN award get's a
GIJoe T-shirt, donated by the yojoe depot store ! So congratulations
again !

BARONESS : Well, our time here is at an end ! The Fandom awards
have been given out !

CLUTCH : Goodnight everybody !

The Baroness and Clutch exit the stage, as Cobra Commander and Hawk
come back.

HAWK : Well, folks, every award has been given out, we've covered just
about every aspect of GIJoe : RAH .

CC : But it's not over yet !

HAWK : No, because we now come to the free-for-all section !

CC : Here, all fans can make up their own awards, and pick a winner !

HAWK : So here we go !

FLAGGS FREE-FOR-ALL 2002

***************
Phillip Donnely :

Best location to buy Joes ?
- Antique Mine in Fullerton, CA

***************
Dillon Lee :

The "Big Boa Silver Boxing Glove" award for Best Viper Class :
Alley Viper is my choice. cool look on almost every version and pretty
cool accesories as well.
Night Viper is runner up.

The "Marathon Running Gag" award for most overused Joke in the RAH
community :
Can you say Football Stick Viper ?

***************
The Wildman Josh :

Best figure with a headdress that can be removed leaving a neat looking
slotted gash in his bald head ?
- Zartan v1

***************
Paul Jacoby :

Best fan-interview goes to. . .

Dave Kudurka (sp?) of Quick Kick's Theatre for his interview w/Buzz
Dixon!

Also. . .

Decky Hedrock should get a Flagg for his custom HQ!

Most humorous custom should got to KennyD's Pogo Cadet (message
#27601) (Pit -ed)

Paolo Guanco's Worst Luck Story (#28616) (Pit -ed)

***************
Marijn Willems :

The biggest SCAM (aka sellerscum, thief) of the year....

Daniacollectible, that **** frauded me for 100 bucks... that sucked
pretty hard.

***************
Corey Stinson :
The best recent contribution to G.I.Joe net fandom :

Winner : Jason Traber, for having the balls to start up a private G.I.Joe
discussion group and not bending to the whiners that didn't/don't get it.

***************
Ian MacDowin :

Best Neon Colored Figure :
- Ice Cream soldier

Worst Neon Colored figure :
- Rapid Fire

Best Hall of Fame Figure :
- Rapid Fire

Worst Hall of Fame Figure :
- Major Bludd

Vehicle/Playset that was set to be released in '95, but wasn't, that
should have been :
- The Artic set

**************
Timmer :

Yeah, I'm here too. : ) Just some awards that didn't make it into the
FLAGGS this year :

The award for best online fan forum.
- Covert Missions caused a lot of controversy, and so, during the writing
of the ballot, I figured I'l leave this award out, to avoid fights afterwards.
Things seem to have really cooled down as of late though, so I think
people will be levelheaded enough to vote for this award next year.

The award for best GIJoe writer (comics).
During the writing of the Ballot, the new image comic hadn't come out
with enough issues to make a difference, so expect this award next year
too.

The award for best online GIJoe store.
Expect this award next year too.

**************
Earl Shelley :

"What happened to me" award :
Serpentor. When he first came out everybody had to have him. Now I think
I'm the only one that still likes him. Oh how the mighty have fallen.

**************
Jaegan :

I'll leave the creativity to you, T.

**************
GIJane :

Best fan fic quote:
From "Desperate Hours" on fanfiction.net

Lady Jaye: "Oh I trust Flint. I just haven't decided if you're him or not.
However, I know one thing. That's not Flint."
"Flint":He leaned in close whispering in her ear. "So how do you know that's
not Flint?"
Lady Jaye: "The pants. Flint hates pleats."

**************
Joystick :

Cobra Youth Award - (award for member who did the most to get kids into
RAH)

I'd give this to the community in general this year. I saw a lot of
people bring up what they did to forward the love to the youngsters.
Giving the new comic, new figures, old figures, videos, or even just
showing off a collection of Joes were all mentioned.

********************

CC : Phew. Finally.

HAWK : This really is it, people. The FLAGGS are over !

CC : Everything has been judged, every award has been given out, and
all the booze has been drunk.

HAWK : So, I guess there's nothing left to say but, thank you for watching,
hope you've enjoyed yourself, and we'll see you next year ! YO JOE !

CC : COBRAAAAAAAAA !



ANNOUNCER : ROLL CREDITS !

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Dedicated to the men and women of the armed forces,
who fight for freedom......

Written and edited by Tim Timmermans

Special thanks to the folks from the yojoe store for donating
the T-shirt.

Special thanks to James Mcfadden for answering comic
questions.

Special thanks to David thornton for answering cartoon
questions.

Special thanks to Joe Harris for creating the FLAGGS award
graphics.

No portions of this document mat be reproduced without asking
permission. Statements by ballot writers do not reflect the editor's
own thoughts.
All GIJOE and Cobra trademarks owned by Hasbro,
all other trademarks property of their respective owners, these
have been used for research,review and satire, and if you sue,
I'll countersue for obstruction of pants....

Goodnight !

That's all folks ! See ya next year !